Okay check it... One year I thought I was being sooo clever. I wanted to surprise with a trip to some place sunny and I originally thought...Hawaii. Knowing her though you can never tell...maybe she would rather go to Mexico or something. I wasn't a wealthy guy but sometimes you just gotta say fvck it.
So I thought, "Okay, what about a travel gift certificate for enough to cover a vacation in any number of warm destinations". Back in the 80's that would have been around $500. So I got her a Doug Fox Travel gift certificate and put it with a cheap bathing suit I bought her.
The bathing suit was nothing more than a "hint" about what I really got her and it wasn't my intention that she would actually like it or wear it.
Anyway, she took one look at the bathing suit and pitched an F'ING fit!!! "What were you thinking, why did you do that, blah blah blah". When I finally calmed her down enough to hear me say look a little deeper in the package she looked inside and found the gift certificate.
Now I'm thinking, "this is going to be great...she threw a major hissy fit and now she's gonna feel like crap, give me hugs and kisses yada yada yada". She takes one look at the gift certificate and says "what's this?". I said "a vacation to anywhere sunny that you would like to go".
She frickin' drops the gift certificate on the floor and goes into the bathroom and starts crying. Seriously, I thought she was crying because she felt so bad about throwing the hissy fit so I'm standing outside the bathroom door going "it's okay...come out and talk to me".
She finally does come out and tells me "you didn't get me anything I wanted". I said "WHAT?!?!" She then proceeds to ramble off a list of things while I am starting to get pissed.
The next day, I went and bought her a gold necklace that she wanted (which was cool actually because it was like 50% off then 😉), gave it to her, ya I know I was a schmuck but aren't we all when we're young?, and took the gift certificate and dumped her ass.
Ended up using it on someone who was much more appreciative later 🙂