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What's The Deal With Devin?

Viper1j

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2018
3,246
2,215
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And who the fuck keeps voting for him????

What is this Jim Jones vibe he's sending out?


Dazed and Confused: Devin Nunes Is Still Suing an Imaginary Cow, and Still Subpoenaing People Who Might Know the Phantom Cow

For reasons nobody can quite ascertain, Rep. Devin Nunes is suing a fake cow and a fake relative for defamation. (The fake cow and fake relative are two distinct entities, to make that clear. We are not suggesting that Devin Nunes was sired by livestock, though we are thinking it loudly.)

Nunes, who is a public figure and who therefore can be insulted, satirized or parodied by anyone in America who damn well wants to, who is a possible Russian agent and definite moron who now faces potential House ethics charges for hiding his direct, personal involvement in attempting to collect election-useful "dirt" on possible Donald Trump opponent Joe Biden, even while sitting as ranking Republican member of the House committee investigating Trump's lawbreaking while attempting to do the same thing, has now issued a subpoena on a former Democratic National Committee employee who he thinks may have somehow have sekrit knowluge of the cruel, vicious bovine/parent behind Twitter accounts Devin Nunes' Cow and Devin Nunes' Mom.

Again, it's not clear why Nunes, who is just astonishingly dumb and who always smells like fish and burning tires, a man who attended Bovine University and graduated Grade B, is doing this. But ex-DNC strategist Adam Parkhomenko and his lawyer aren't playing Devin's little game, and have asked the (Virginia!) court to quash the subpoena against him on grounds of it being deeply and irrevocably Stupid, even by Devin Nunes standards. From their filing, as reported by The Fresno Bee:

“No reasonable person would believe that Devin Nunes’ cow actually has a Twitter account, or that the hyperbole, satire and cow-related jokes it posts are serious facts. It is self-evident that cows are domesticated livestock animals and do not have the intelligence, language, or opposable digits needed to operate a Twitter account. Defendant ‘Devin Nunes’ Mom’ likewise posts satirical patronizing, nagging, mothering comments which ostensibly treat Mr. Nunes as a misbehaving child.”

It's entirely possible that Rep. Nunes, a man who was raised by feral goats on the Russian steppes before being accidentally locking himself in a shipping container and being delivered to Fresno, California, alongside hundreds and hundreds of cans of expired beans, does not understand these basic concepts of parody. He would have no reason to, back on the placid grasslands of his homeland. It appears to be up to our courts to explain these things to him.
 
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Hayabusa Rider

Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
Jan 26, 2000
50,879
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I go with the feral goat theory but it's possible that he's feeling the effects of his being caught being underhanded- not enough to stop of course- and his siege mentality has caused him to be pricked by a thousand pangs of cow teats.
 
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Viper1j

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2018
3,246
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I go with the feral goat theory but it's possible that he's feeling the effects of his being caught being underhanded- not enough to stop of course- and his siege mentality has caused him to be pricked by a thousand pangs of cow teats.
Still begs the question, what kind of person votes for a person that sues a cow?
 

thraashman

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
10,907
1,056
126
I'm pretty sure that Nunes, Jordan, and Gaetz somehow have a negative collective IQ. Interacting with them manages to make anyone who does dumber for having to hear them.
 

tweaker2

Lifer
Aug 5, 2000
11,727
2,950
136
Yet in the minds of the Trump faithful, Nunzi is a loyal and intelligent genius supporter of their president and, as a bonus feature, is admired throughout Russia for his support of both the Repub's and Russia's efforts to cause chaos and hateful divisiveness in the USA.
 

BonzaiDuck

Lifer
Jun 30, 2004
14,552
947
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I remember giving a donation to Andrew Janz, despite the fact that the 22nd district is not the 41st where I live. I've been pissed off at Nunes for at least a couple years. Nunes beat Janz by approximately 12,000 votes out of 222,000. This was a squeaker compared to the 82,600-vote spread out of 234,000 in 2016.

Who are the people of the 22nd district? It overlaps Fresno. Fresno is west of King's Canyon National Park, in turn due south of Yosemite National park, and west of Death Valley National park, Fresno being on the western slope of the Sierra Nevada and Death Valley east or inclusive of a small spur -- the Panamints -- on the eastern slope of the Sierras.

Fresno is on the State 99 highway, connecting to Modesto some 70 miles to the northwest. If you drive along 99, you will smell the tomato canning factories here or there. Modesto was a focus of attention with the Laci Peterson murder some 18 years ago.

I suspect that a lot of folks in Fresno like big trucks. It would be the center of an agricultural industry. Nunes was an Ag major in college and then an Ag major again. There is probably a sizeable Mexican-American community, and the Republican Party is probably dominated by the interests of landowners and farmers. But Janz's very competitive election results would suggest that the district can be captured. Occasionally, the district has been won by Democrats.

Kevin McCarthy's district is adjacent to the 22nd.

I wish Nunes would go back to the farming business. His family roots are Portuguese.

But Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Lebanese, Milanese or just Fresno-ese -- he's a bleeping lunatic, a liar and a Trumpie-conspirator. He is definitely not representing all the people in his district, especially given Janz's election results.
 

Viper1j

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2018
3,246
2,215
106
I remember giving a donation to Andrew Janz, despite the fact that the 22nd district is not the 41st where I live. I've been pissed off at Nunes for at least a couple years. Nunes beat Janz by approximately 12,000 votes out of 222,000. This was a squeaker compared to the 82,600-vote spread out of 234,000 in 2016.

Who are the people of the 22nd district? It overlaps Fresno. Fresno is west of King's Canyon National Park, in turn due south of Yosemite National park, and west of Death Valley National park, Fresno being on the western slope of the Sierra Nevada and Death Valley east or inclusive of a small spur -- the Panamints -- on the eastern slope of the Sierras.

Fresno is on the State 99 highway, connecting to Modesto some 70 miles to the northwest. If you drive along 99, you will smell the tomato canning factories here or there. Modesto was a focus of attention with the Laci Peterson murder some 18 years ago.

I suspect that a lot of folks in Fresno like big trucks. It would be the center of an agricultural industry. Nunes was an Ag major in college and then an Ag major again. There is probably a sizeable Mexican-American community, and the Republican Party is probably dominated by the interests of landowners and farmers. But Janz's very competitive election results would suggest that the district can be captured. Occasionally, the district has been won by Democrats.

Kevin McCarthy's district is adjacent to the 22nd.

I wish Nunes would go back to the farming business. His family roots are Portuguese.

But Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Lebanese, Milanese or just Fresno-ese -- he's a bleeping lunatic, a liar and a Trumpie-conspirator. He is definitely not representing all the people in his district, especially given Janz's election results.
I just started my farm on Facebook's Farmville.

I'm a "farmer", I'll be running against Nunesy boy as a farmer
 

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