What's the best way to deal with an ill-tempered grizzly bear?

[Random Variable]

I'm in a bit of a predicament over here.

 

[pyonir]

Slap it with a trout....DUH

 

[tfinch2]

http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/TheEvil1/bearcalv.jpg

or you can do this:

http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/f...reak/327-luckybear.jpg
2nd link is NSFW -Anandtech Moderator DrPizza

 

[Random Variable]

I received a one-week vacation for posting a pic similar to the second one.

 

[effowe]

Sick your Pedo Bear on him. The grizzly will never be the same.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Might I suggest a large calibre firearm...

 

[Random Variable]

.

 

[CrackRabbit]

I was always told to punch it in the nose. Bears supposedly have very soft bones in their noses.
Now if you would actually be able to punch a bear in the nose hard enough while being attacked is another story.

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: tfinch2
http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/TheEvil1/bearcalv.jpg

or you can do this:

http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/f...reak/327-luckybear.jpg

NSFW on that 2nd pic please.

 

[KLin]

Do this exactly.

 

[imported_elwood]

Either this or this.

 

[WildHorse]

gotta flip 'em over & rub his tummy

while humming just the right soothing sound

 

[xcript]

Poke it with a spoon, smash it with a hammer, wrap it in a pancake.

 

[Aluvus]

Originally posted by: CrackRabbit
I was always told to punch it in the nose. Bears supposedly have very soft bones in their noses.
Now if you would actually be able to punch a bear in the nose hard enough while being attacked is another story.

I have heard of this as a way to drive away sharks. In either case, you would mostly just get your fist eaten.

My advice to OP: bear hugs.

 

[CrystalBay]

Bear spray and Bear bells...then S&W 500


Yeah right in Illinois

 

[IGBT]

..I saw a video of a super hot magnum pepper spray in a small fire extingusher sized sprayer and it stopped the grizz dead in his tracks and ran off to the woods sneezing his head off.

 

[BoomerD]

My wife says if she just leaves me the fuck alone until I've had my morning coffee and cigarette, I'm much easier to deal with...

 

[vi edit]

Throw a log at it

 

[LordMorpheus]

run faster than your friend?

 

[mattpegher]

If your talking about a grizzly around your property, fireworks like m80's, peppersprays and finally a shotgun blast with bird shot usually runs them off. Repeat offenders need to be trapped and relocated by professionals.

If your talking about being attacked the old play dead still holds for grizzlies as they don't like to eat their meat fresh and rather let you rot a bit. If you fight they will continue to attack, and if you run they will chase you and they can run about 10 miles faster than the fastest human. They swim and climb trees as well. If camping or hiking in grizzly areas carry a side arm, something powerful like the 38 or 45, and pref magnum.

 

[xanis]

Loud noises, large-caliber gun, animal control, take your pick.

 

[adairusmc]

Originally posted by: elwood
Either this or this.

LOL, only a pussy would buy anything in .50AE. That will just piss the bear off.

Get yourself a .500 S&W or a .460 S&W - that will show the bear who is boss, and make any desert eagle look like a Toys R Us capgun.

 

[thirdeye]

Try this

 

[Rubycon]

This if you're a good shot

This if you're not :laugh:

 

[K1052]

Marlin .45-70 w/ handloads

or a very sharp stick