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What's the best way to confront my roommate about his girlfriend living with us?

T

thehstrybean

Diamond Member
So my current roommate and I moved in to a 2 bedroom 1.5 bathroom house in July of '09. He began dating this girl about 2 or 3 months ago. Since then, he's become a bigger pothead, quit his job (and he doesn't have a new one), and spends 24/7 with her. I don't care about that. He's 24, he can choose. But his current girlfriend pays no rent, no utilities, nothing. He just came back from his week of Christmas vacation. He wasn't at the house all week, but she lived here (for him). That really bugs me. She's here all the time, pays for nothing, and is just usually sitting here smoking. Even when he's not here, she is. Has anyone else had that problem? What's the best way to bring this up?

Cliff notes:
1. Roommate and I have lived together since July
2. He met a girl 2 months ago
3. She pretty much moved in (is here all the time, even when he's not).
4. She lived here while he was gone (for a week)
5. Pays for nothing (no rent, no utilities, no nothing).
6. Advice?
 
Simply state the agreement was for you and him. If you're okay with her staying there she needs to pay a 1/3rd of the rent and utilities. This is a good time to show some confidence and stand your ground. Be political about it though.
 
SpatiallyAware said:
Live by yourself. It sucks, and is sorta shitty of him, but this is how roommates go..
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I wish I could. I was offered a job where they'd pay for me to move, but I still have $3200 of rent left. First time with a roommate too. I thought maybe that was a normal thing (for people to move in), but everyone I've told has found it to be really douchy...
 
If there are three people living there, then the rent needs to be split three ways. Simple as that. That's how I always did it in college when I was living with my gf and we had another housemate. We paid 2/3 the rent, housemate paid 1/3. Later we had another couple and split it into fourths. It's common sense, but I know that getting your roommates (notice the plural there 😉 ) to get a grip on that will be easier said than done since they've slipped into this situation slowly and don't seem responsible to begin with.

Good luck with that conversation!
 
thomsbrain said:
If there are three people living there, then the rent needs to be split three ways. Simple as that.
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We have a winner.

My roommate has her boyfriend over quite a lot, so I can see where you're coming from. However... he cooks for us, cleans, and even brings over beer now and again, so I'm not about to complain. 😛
 
Xanis said:
We have a winner.

My roommate has her boyfriend over quite a lot, so I can see where you're coming from. However... he cooks for us, cleans, and even brings over beer now and again, so I'm not about to complain. 😛
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She bought milk and creamer (which she drank). She cleaned, but that lasted 5 minutes...
 
Eh... The reality is that your roommates are going to have their SO over. It probably bothers you (no offense) because you don't have one, or they have their own place.


It sucks, and I used to HATE it (and went through the exact same thing) and it wasn't until I was a little older that I realized it was I who was overreacting.
 
SpatiallyAware said:
Eh... The reality is that your roommates are going to have their SO over. It probably bothers you (no offense) because you don't have one, or they have their own place.


It sucks, and I used to HATE it (and went through the exact same thing) and it wasn't until I was a little older that I realized it was I who was overreacting.
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Actually, I do have a SO. She used to stay the night, but she always left in the morning (for class or work), and she's been out of town for a couple weeks. His girlfriend has her own place, too. That's what kind of bothers me...
 
SpatiallyAware said:
Eh... The reality is that your roommates are going to have their SO over. It probably bothers you (no offense) because you don't have one, or they have their own place.


It sucks, and I used to HATE it (and went through the exact same thing) and it wasn't until I was a little older that I realized it was I who was overreacting.
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Yep, I know exactly what you mean. I used to hate it... until I realized that it was not nearly as big of a deal as I was making it out to be. I would say, however, that if she's not going to pay rent she needs to at least pull her weight in other ways... be that helping with groceries or cleaning.
 
Having a SO over all the time and having them there when your roommate isn't home are completely different stories. Talk to him about it, agree to terms, and tell him you're going to move if the agreed to terms aren't met in the agreed to timeframe.
 
scott916 said:
Having a SO over all the time and having them there when your roommate isn't home are completely different stories. Talk to him about it, agree to terms, and tell him you're going to move if the agreed to terms aren't met in the agreed to timeframe.
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That's all well and good, but wouldn't he breaking the lease?
 
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