Whats the best or funniest fortune cookie you've ever had?

[lokiju]

I got this awhile ago and my friend and I just couldn't stop laughing that this was an actual fortune cookie and of course I got it.

Scan of it

 

[Raduque]

That's way better then mine: "You are going to have some new clothes."

 

[DnetMHZ]

I got a lame one a few weeks ago that said "You like fortune cookies"

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Raduque
That's way better then mine: "You are going to have some new clothes."

i think i got that one once also.

 

[MisterJackson]

My ex mother-in-law (outlaw) always said that you're supposed to add the phrase "in bed" to the end of every fortune. OP, yours doesn't bode so well.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
I got a lame one a few weeks ago that said "You like fortune cookies"

:laugh: That's pretty lame.

Really the best one that applies to me was one that says "Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in."

Actually applied to me very much considering how I can sometimes become paralyzed in making decisions and end up over thinking them instead of just doing it.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
My ex mother-in-law (outlaw) always said that you're supposed to add the phrase "in bed" to the end of every fortune. OP, yours doesn't bode so well.

My friends and I would do that sometimes.

That doesn't help me at all for this one

 

[MrChad]

"Some men dream of fortunes, others just dream of cookies."

 

[vi edit]

I always thought that you could really screw with people by slipping them gag fortune cookies....

Just imagine if you got one that said:

"You will die tomorrow"
"You have a small weiner"
"Your kid isn't yours"
"Don't eat me tubby"

Great skit for a gag show.

 

[amddude]

I once ate at a mongolian grill in Minneapolis. We had finished our meal and got our fortune cookies. I was eating mine, then when people started asking about fortunes and what I got. I looked around my plate and couldn't find the fortune. Then I realized my cookie tasted mighty...pasty. Yep, that's right, I had put the *entire* cookie, fortune and all, in my mouth. Promptly spit it out.

 

[Zedtom]

Help me! I'm being held captive in a cookie factory.

 

[mobiblu]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
I always thought that you could really screw with people by slipping them gag fortune cookies....

Just imagine if you got one that said:

"You will die tomorrow"
"You have a small weiner"
"Your kid isn't yours"
"Don't eat me tubby"

Great skit for a gag show.

I could see all the lawsuits waiting to happen...

 

[CptObvious]

Not real (I think), but a classic: Text

 

[NissanGurl]

I don't remember any good/funny fortunes but I do have a story

Actually the funniest fortune cookie experience was on my birthday. Went out to eat with the family (my early teen years, can't remember which birthday) and everyone got his/her fortune cookie at the end. I waited and let everyone go first since we all like to listen to all the fortunes. It's my turn and I crack open my cookie to find.....NOTHING. The stupid cookie had no fortune in it! Not a good sign to recieve a fortune cookie with no fortune on your birthday. My mom mentioned something to the waitor and he brought me another fortune cookie. I cracked this one open and it had 3 fortunes in it. The crazy part is that these were the individually wrapped forutune cookies they buy in bulk so it wasn't like they could try to stuff extra fortunes in one cookie to make up for a cookie not having one.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: NissanGurl
I don't remember any good/funny fortunes but I do have a story

Actually the funniest fortune cookie experience was on my birthday. Went out to eat with the family (my early teen years, can't remember which birthday) and everyone got his/her fortune cookie at the end. I waited and let everyone go first since we all like to listen to all the fortunes. It's my turn and I crack open my cookie to find.....NOTHING. The stupid cookie had no fortune in it! Not a good sign to recieve a fortune cookie with no fortune on your birthday. My mom mentioned something to the waitor and he brought me another fortune cookie. I cracked this one open and it had 3 fortunes in it. The crazy part is that these were the individually wrapped forutune cookies they buy in bulk so it wasn't like they could try to stuff extra fortunes in one cookie to make up for a cookie not having one.

LOL, well I guess it got made up none-the-less though

 

[foghorn67]

add the line, "with your pants down."

 

[Perknose]

I once served a subpoena on a fortune cookie "factory" in Center City Philadelphia. They even had a 'production line'. All oriental, and no one there spoke enough English to make a whole sentence. But they gave me a HUGE bag of fortune cookies -- I mean GINORMOUS -- for my trouble.