What's the best lie (funny one) you've ever told?

[Entity]

In light of the college prank thread, I think this might be a fun one - what's the lie you've ever convinced a gullible person of? I'll start.

A few years ago, I helped convince a girl from my high school that boneless chicken actually were genetically raised on a boneless chicken ranch in Texas.



Rob

 

[Yeeny]

A friend of mine convinced his sweet but totally gullible girlfriend that the reason there were so many rabbits feet keychains in the world was because once you cut the foot off, they grew another one.

And I am ashamed to admit I fell for one too. My hubby and I were driving home from the mall one day, and there were these hard yellow reflectors in the road. I asked him what they were for, and he told me to teach the blind people how to drive. I sat there for fifteen minutes saying how wonderful it was that the government would make sure driving was such an equal opportunity thing before it finally hit me....

 

[KameLeon]

lol girlfriday..I got a good laugh out of that

 

[shoefreq]

When I was 10, I once convinced my playmate to eat a "cracker". It was really dry cat food. He ate the whole bowl.

 

[BiggieN]

hahaha...blind people how to drive! ohmigosh

 

[toph99]

GirlFriday, that's pretty bad

 

[LordMaul]

Hmmmm....I did a lot of that in shcool, though I just can't remember them....I will edit when I thnk of 'em

 

[waytoomuchcoffee]

I convinced a friend in college a particular expressway in Ontario had no speed limit. He took the trip back home at 100 mph. Luckily he wasn't caught, he finally saw the speed limit sign near the end.

 

[XMan]

Hmm.

I can't think of one, but when I was a kid I asked my mom how streetlights worked. She said that there was a little monkey inside of each one, and he turned on whatever lights needed to be on.

Guess she just didn't want to admit to a four-year old she didn't know.

I also knew somebody who swore up and down that CCR's "Bad Moon Rising" was called "Babbon Rising".

 

[Nutcase99]

ROFL GirlFriday!! Teach blind people how to drive! HEHEHEHEHEHE

 

[Yeeny]

Alright, I am happy to see my stupidity has yet again bought joy to the masses....

Xerox Man: My husband swore that the Eagles song Take It Easy line that says "looking for a lover who won't blow my cover" was instead looking for a lover who won't blow my brother. He argued with me for months over that one.

 

[MrBond]

Hehe, speaking of misheard song lyrics, check out www.kissthisguy.com, funny stuff there.

Now on to my story

When I was a junior in high school, it became the "fun-thing-to-do" to go out and shoplift from stores. They took mostly baseball cards and the like, until one of them got caught, and the rest were scared into stopping (even though nothing happened to the kid). Well, about 3 months later, one kid decided to start it up again, except he would take more expensive stuff (once made off with a playstation from JC Penny, he managed to get THREE of sony's more expensive Discman units, and was attempting to steal a minidisc player, but almost was caught). The initial group of kids who were stealing stuff saw this as a golden oppertunity, they would give him money, and he'd steal CD's, tobacco products, and just about anything else they asked him for. These kids had parents who were in high standings in the community, and most of them were on the football team, reason enough for them to be held in high esteem disgust. By their reasoning, it wasn't a crime to pay someone else to steal for them. This annoyed me greatly, and I'd have done anything to make them sweat a little. I soon found my chance. The kid who was stealing the stuff mentioned in passing to me on a friday that he was going to be missing monday-tuesday-wednesday of the next week. Well, he had a list of stuff to obtain on the weekend, so come Monday, people were wondering when they could get their stuff. Being a small school, I took the oppertunity to spread the rumor that he had been arrested. Normally, this wouldn'r bother them at all, except for the fact that this kid was a weasle, and I didn't trust him at all. They knew this too, and I planted the suggestion in one of their heads that he would probably rat them out, just to save his own skin. Of course I did this on Monday, so they had two more days of worrying. There was a severe panic by Tuesday among the kids, they were panicing about getting kicked off the team, etc. When he came back on Thursday, they were quite relieved, yet none of them were pissed off at me for telling them he had been arrested.

Unfortunatly, it didn't have the desired effect of scaring them straight. The guy finally turned 18, and decided the possiblility of jail time wasn't worth the extra money.

 

[DataFly]

When she was about 10, my mom asked my grandpa why there were many, many boxes stacked atop each other on some farms when they were driving in a rural area. He told her that the farms they were on were box farms that grew boxes. She believed him, and he has yet to stop making fun of her for it.

 

[kranky]

While in college I worked with a girl who had just gotten a new Texas Instruments calculator (this is when they cost about $300, and very few people had one). As she was going to the library, I asked her if she would leave it with us at work so we could check it out (never having used one before). When she came back, we told her that we were sorry, but it seemed like we used it too much and we used up all the "4"s (in the display). But it's not a problem, I said, because whenever you see a blank digit in the display, you'll know it's a 4.

She said, "I just bought it today, you @ssholes! So what that a blank means a 4 - what am I supposed to do when the next number runs out? I won't know what number it is then!"

The story that cracks me up the most is one told by a co-worker. Her 4-year-old Bob had obviously wet his pants, which was a constant source of irritation. Waving her finger in his face, she asked, "Did you have an accident?" Pointing at his 8-year-old brother, he said, "No, Davey peed in my pants!"

 

[Lord Evermore]

I can't lie.

 

[raptor13]

Speaking of blind people driving, has it ever bothered anyone that drive-through ATMs have brail on them? I find that just a *little* disconcerting.



As for a lie:

Last year in my AP Writing class, we were talking about Confucious for some reason. The kid sitting next to me spouted up with, "Confucious say: If you run behind car, you soon to be exhausted." Everyone thought it was funny and all. He said a few others as well. Now, I don't recall exactly what I said, but eventually I convinced him that the reason those "sayings" were so widespread was because Confucious was not the great philosopher many people believed. He was, in fact, a complete and utter idiot. He believed me, commenting when we left the room, that it made so much more sense that Confucious would have said the things he had quoted since Confucious was an idiot and all.

I don't know now if he still thinks that. However, the fact that he also thought Confucious, who lived LONG AGO would have said anything about cars only made the whole situation all the more humorous.