What's that online dating translation thing? Curvy = fat, BBW = fat, etc

[fuzzybabybunny]

I'm trying to find this thing - it's either an image or an TheOatmeal-esque type thing. Basically breaking down the commonly used dating terms and what they mean in real life:

Curvy = fat
BBW = fat
etc etc

 

[Kev]

BBW = disgusting cow

 

[Beev]

"a few extra pounds" = fat as shit

 

[brandonb]

"I like to have fun." <--- Likes to run around the bar and get laid.
"I love to laugh." <--- She is an idiot.
"I like tattoos and piercings." <--- She believes everything she sees on TV as true and listens to the hip hop R&B music.
"I'm a single mom." <--- She wants someone to come take care of her and baby, as she is probably on welfare and got knocked up at the bar (she is likely to put into her profile "I like to have fun.")
"I am looking for someone who is religious." <--- She likes alot of sex.
"I love to go to the casino." <--- She is broke.
"I'm a nanny." <--- She lives with a friend of hers for free and promises to clean up around the house for free rent because she has no job.
"I'm into art." <--- Has a webcam to get naked on.

(this was meant to be funny but it's also partially true)

 

[her209]

Cute = Plump

 

[highland145]

Guess "big boned" is passe`.

 

[Leros]

16 year old female = 40 year old man

 

[Scotteq]

Found one:

********

The Women's Edition Personal Ad Translator -
The real meaning behind the abbreviations in women's personal ads:


40-ish: 48
Adventurer: Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic: Flat-chested
Average looking: Ugly
Beautiful: Pathological liar
Contagious Smile: Bring your penicillin
Educated: College dropout
Emotionally Secure: Medicated
Feminist: Fat; ball buster
Free spirit: Substance user
Friendship first: Trying to live down reputation as slut
Full-figured: Fat
Fun: Annoying
Gentle: Comatose
Good Listener: Borderline Autistic
New-Age: All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded: Desperate
Outgoing: Loud
Passionate: Loud
Poet: Depressive Schzophrenic
Professional: Real B*tch
Redhead: Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque: Grossly Fat
Romantic: Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous: Very Fat
Weight proportional to height: Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate: One step away from stalking
Widow: Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart: Toothless crone


The Men's Edition Personal Ad Translator -
Here's what men say about themselves in their personal ads -- and what it really means:


40-ish: 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
50-ish: 65, but dyes his hair
Athletic: Never misses "ESPN Sportscenter"
Well-read: Also has a subscription to "ESPN Magazine"
Ambitious: Constantly dreams of getting two women in bed at the same time.
Average-looking: Bald
Educated: Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit: If you start going out with him...he will eventually try to sleep with your sister
Friendship first: As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun: Big drinker
Gentle: Still lives with his mother.
Good looking: Arrogant
Gourmet cook: Can work the can opener and the microwave
Honest: Pathological Liar
Huggable: Fat guy with tons of body hair.
Like to cuddle: Insecure, overly dependent -- possibly gay
Loves candlelight dinners: Doesn't pay his electric bill
Poet: Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual: Goes to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
Stable: Occasional stalker -- never arrested
Thoughtful: Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Adventurous: Peeping Tom at the neighborhood apartment complex.
Committed: Currently institutionalized...but due to get out soon.
Secure: In prison.
New on the dating scene: Just out of prison.
Well-traveled: Sees his picture on America's Most Wanted and moves on to the next town.

 

[polarmystery]

"I like to have fun." <--- Likes to run around the bar and get laid.
"I love to laugh." <--- She is an idiot.
"I like tattoos and piercings." <--- She believes everything she sees on TV as true and listens to the hip hop R&B music.
"I'm a single mom." <--- She wants someone to come take care of her and baby, as she is probably on welfare and got knocked up at the bar (she is likely to put into her profile "I like to have fun.")
"I am looking for someone who is religious." <--- She likes alot of sex.
"I love to go to the casino." <--- She is broke.
"I'm a nanny." <--- She lives with a friend of hers for free and promises to clean up around the house for free rent because she has no job.
"I'm into art." <--- Has a webcam to get naked on.

(this was meant to be funny but it's also partially true)

I think it's more true than funny considering my online dating experiences.

 

[Aikouka]

I've met curvy women from online that definitely aren't fat... maybe thick, but not fat. I don't know if curvy even has a good enough definition other than what it suggests. I mean, a big belly is a curve, right?

One other thing to consider is that OKCupid's website used to only go up to "A Few Extra Pounds" as their highest weight category. So a 900lb person would only have a few extra .

 

[MotF Bane]

Whatever weight you consider would be normally implied by the words, add another 20-30.

 

[ProfJohn]

Anything beyond 'thin' and you are taking a risk.

Athletic is usually a safe but, but every once in a while you find someone thinks that Babe Ruth was athletic looking too.

Average = "well the average women is over weight and I am over weight therefore I must be average"

bbw = someone who is at least honest with themselves.

 

[ProfJohn]

the girl in gold claims to be 'athletic'

 

[bignateyk]

the girl in gold claims to be 'athletic'

Hey, she's in a swimming pool. Swimming is athletic, right?

 

[Genx87]

Everything == overweight to fat as hell.

 

[Nebor]

Anything beyond 'thin' and you are taking a risk.

Athletic is usually a safe but, but every once in a while you find someone thinks that Babe Ruth was athletic looking too.

Yup, anything but "thin" or "skinny" and you could be in trouble. "Athletic" is hit or miss, with some pretty chunky girls holding onto their college track & field memories.

I added "No one larger than a dress size 6" to a dating profile, and the hate mail flowed in that size doesn't mean anything, just because I'm big doesn't mean I'm not in good shape, etc. So I rewrote it to "Either be smaller than a dress size 6 OR be able to run a mile in less than 7 minutes." That shut them up.

The internet: inflating fatties' sense of entitlement and self esteem since 1998.

 

[Chrono]

the girl in gold claims to be 'athletic'

Maybe she plays softball? I noticed a lot of girls who play softball are shaped similar to her or worse.

 

[polarmystery]

Yup, anything but "thin" or "skinny" and you could be in trouble. "Athletic" is hit or miss, with some pretty chunky girls holding onto their college track & field memories.

I added "No one larger than a dress size 6" to a dating profile, and the hate mail flowed in that size doesn't mean anything, just because I'm big doesn't mean I'm not in good shape, etc. So I rewrote it to "Either be smaller than a dress size 6 OR be able to run a mile in less than 7 minutes." That shut them up.

The internet: inflating fatties' sense of entitlement and self esteem since 1998.

LMAO

 

[theeedude]

voluptious = fat

 

[ElFenix]

Yup, anything but "thin" or "skinny" and you could be in trouble. "Athletic" is hit or miss, with some pretty chunky girls holding onto their college track & field memories.

I added "No one larger than a dress size 6" to a dating profile, and the hate mail flowed in that size doesn't mean anything, just because I'm big doesn't mean I'm not in good shape, etc. So I rewrote it to "Either be smaller than a dress size 6 OR be able to run a mile in less than 7 minutes." That shut them up.

The internet: inflating fatties' sense of entitlement and self esteem since 1998.

:thumbsup: