What's more important to you when making a decision?

[HAL9000]

This is a hypothetical decision that you'd have to make. It can be anything, but what does your gut tell you is a more important consideration when making decision x.

Obviously this is quite vague so for the people who insist on being provided with a scenario. Let's say that you are presented with the opportunity to sleep with a friends ex, no strings attached, one night only. You're both in another country, no one will ever know.

 

[shortylickens]

Me. I'm number one. Tried way too hard over the years to please other people and I'm freakin miserable for it. Sometimes you just gotta be selfish.

 

[HAL9000]

Me. I'm number one. Tried way too hard over the years to please other people and I'm freakin miserable for it. Sometimes you just gotta be selfish.

This is what I'm wondering, I'm too far the other way, I'm too selfless, I'm looking to see what the general consensus on this matter is.

My problem is that if I was selfish all the time my conscience couldn't take it. So I need a happy medium.

 

[sixone]

Obviously this is quite vague so for the people who insist on being provided with a scenario. Let's say that you are presented with the opportunity to sleep with a friends ex, no strings attached, one night only. You're both in another country, no one will ever know.

It seems clear that the friend would be hurt and angry about it, or you wouldn't be asking.

If the friendship is important to you, don't do anything to jeopardize it. Find someone else to play with. Good friends are hard to find - don't throw it away for a ONS.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I don't think I'd want to sleep with any of my friend's exes quite frankly...

 

[HamburgerBoy]

The answer is to avoid having to make decisions that involve other people.

 

[HAL9000]

It seems clear that the friend would be hurt and angry about it, or you wouldn't be asking.

If the friendship is important to you, don't do anything to jeopardize it. Find someone else to play with. Good friends are hard to find - don't throw it away for a ONS.

Don't worry, such a situation doesn't exist. It was purely hypothetical, based on the way some of my friends act.

I don't think I'd want to sleep with any of my friend's exes quite frankly...

Not really what I was looking for but OK...

The answer is to avoid having to make decisions that involve other people.

I disagree, as that means you will barely ever make any decisions.

 

[jagec]

It's never as binary as that. If they will suffer a lot and I will gain only a little, I would be a piss-poor friend to take the selfish option. If I would gain a lot and they would only suffer a little, they would be piss-poor friends to deny ME the option. A real friend is one who you can talk to honestly about these things, and come to the best option for everyone.

 

[HAL9000]

It's never as binary as that. If they will suffer a lot and I will gain only a little, I would be a piss-poor friend to take the selfish option. If I would gain a lot and they would only suffer a little, they would be piss-poor friends to deny ME the option. A real friend is one who you can talk to honestly about these things, and come to the best option for everyone.

But my point is that you will consider how much of an impact it would have on them before proceeding, rather than just saying "This is what I want, fuck everyone else"

 

[darkswordsman17]

I base all decisions on how hard they make me. Posting in this thread got a big thumbs down.

 

[jagec]

But my point is that you will consider how much of an impact it would have on them before proceeding, rather than just saying "This is what I want, fuck everyone else"

Oh, absolutely. A person who says THAT isn't a "friend" by any definition of the word.

But I won't just roll over 100% of the time, either...

 

[HAL9000]

Oh, absolutely. A person who says THAT isn't a "friend" by any definition of the word.

But I won't just roll over 100% of the time, either...

That's the balance I'm trying to strike. I do everything for everyone else and take nothing for myself. I'm just looking to see how other people think about this stuff.

 

[Charlie98]

Given your hypothetical situation... no. There is no such thing as a free lunch. In these days of the internet, Facebook, YouTube, texting and all the other nonsense... someone, somewhere will find out. And they will tell my wife. And then she will kill me.

What do you want for dinner? That's all about you. As soon as you mix someone else in, even someone seemingly detached, you have to account not only for them but the reprocussions of your actions.

 

[HAL9000]

Given your hypothetical situation... no. There is no such thing as a free lunch. In these days of the internet, Facebook, YouTube, texting and all the other nonsense... someone, somewhere will find out. And they will tell my wife. And then she will kill me.

What do you want for dinner? That's all about you. As soon as you mix someone else in, even someone seemingly detached, you have to account not only for them but the reprocussions of your actions.

Agreed.

 

[HAL9000]

I base all decisions on how hard they make me. Posting in this thread got a big thumbs down.

Well I am sorry.