What's it like being a Cop?

[RavenSEAL]

Anyone that can speak from experience?

 

[schneiderguy]

Back in the day I was Sheriff in a small town, no more than 2000 people. It was a quiet town, not much crime, everyone knew each other, good people, God fearin' people. Then one day theflyingpig and his posse rolled into town.

It was a Wednesday in June, the year of 1845, right after Jimmy Bob got married. I was sittin there at my desk, when I see this big commotion outside. So I get up, put on my cowboy hat, and take a gander at what in Jesus' name is going on out there. There he was, theflyingpig in the middle of a circle of people, tellin them that he was gonna run this town from now on. In case you don't know about theflyingpig, he was the baddest outlaw in the whole West. I wasn't havin none of that, so I interrupted him and told the fine people of Schneiderville that I was the Sheriff round these parts, and that theflyingpig was just a damn criminal. theflyingpig slowly turned his head to look at me, and when our eyes met, I damn near saw the Devil in him. He scowled, bared his teeth, and told me, "You bring one of your best men, and I will bring one of mine, and we will have a duel, town square, at high noon. Everyone knows this".

So I went back to the jail, and grabbed my best deputy, Nate. We loaded up with our six-shooters, went out back, and hopped on our horses. When we got back to the town square, there they was, theflyingpig and another man, just standin there. I ask, "Who is the other man?". The man slowly looked up, and said, "My name is HAL9000". His voice sounded like it was coming from the depths of Hell itself, I reckon. So we is just standin there, just starin each other down, when the shadows disappear. The sun had hit the top of the sky, and it was noon. Time to meet our fate.

We both turned, and walked our ten paces back. Each step seemed like an eternity, but I knew that God was on my side, and that me and Nate were the best shots in town, so we would put these bastards six feet deep. At ten paces, we whirled around, and fired. Well, three of us did at least. HAL9000 had pulled what looked like a Colt 1911, but it didn't fire. I would later find that the damn thing had been deactivated. My first shot hit HAL square in the forehead, and he fell like a sack of potatoes. I see Nate shoot at theflyingpig, but right after his shot went off, he was struck in the chest by theflyingpig's slug. I pulled the hammer back on my revolver, and fired a second shot. This one also hit theflyingpig right in the forehead. I tell ya, back in my day, I was the best shot round these parts.

I looked down at Nate, just layin there, with a hole in his chest. From this new perspective, I see somethin that I didn't notice before. There was this switch in the town square, that had been there for longer than anyone in the town had been alive. We didn't really knew what it did, but there legend was that if pulled, it would release the Devil upon us all. Nate had been standin right in front of this here switch. So even though Nate didn't know it, his body had stopped the bullet from flipping the switch, and bringing death and destruction upon us all.

I lowered the brim of my hat, put my revolver back in the holster, and looked toward the horizon. It would be rainin tonight, I reckoned. I took a look back at Nate, who was goin to meet Jesus. Then I muttered to no one in particular...





















































































" ...better Nate than lever".

 

[Raizinman]

Sounds like a fun job:
One of the highest divorce rate jobs around.
Having to wear a heavy sweaty bulletproof vest all the time.
Suspicious of everyone
Worried that the guy you gave a ticket to is waiting by your house when you get home
Low pay and you get the title of civil servant
Most people hate you and call you names like pig or copper.
You put your life on the line for a guy stealing food to feed his family.

But on the other hand:
You get to molest women when you stop them for illegal lane change.
Free Donuts!
You can use your police computer to check on ex-girlfriend and others.
Free Donuts!
You can speed and never get a ticket – professional courtesy ya know.
Free Donuts!
You learn how to block your dash cam to prevent being sued for excessive force.
Free Donuts!
You can get out your hate on any racial group you want.
Free Donuts!
You learn how to sleep in your car while appearing to do paperwork
Free Donuts!
You dream for a female partner to have sex with in the squad car.
Free Donuts!

 

[Cyco]

You guys are fucking idiots.

 

[schneiderguy]

You guys are fucking idiots.

 

[MarkXIX]

I did it for two years straight as a Military Policeman after 9/11. I was alright, but tedious at times. The gear you wear is miserable honestly. It's critical that you ensure that your bullet proof vest and duty gear are arranged and fitted properly so it's not totally unbearable.

The hours generally suck. Of course, we were short staffed, so we worked 7-8 days straight with one day off. But, depending on the shift you work and for how long is a key issue. I worked swings (1pm to 11pm including guard mount and post patrol paperwork) for 15 months straight. I wreaked havoc on my relationship with my then fiancee who luckily stayed with me.

 

[Cyco]

Don't worry, you're the lesser one.

 

[KlokWyze]

I did it for two years straight as a Military Policeman after 9/11. I was alright, but tedious at times. The gear you wear is miserable honestly. It's critical that you ensure that your bullet proof vest and duty gear are arranged and fitted properly so it's not totally unbearable.

The hours generally suck. Of course, we were short staffed, so we worked 7-8 days straight with one day off. But, depending on the shift you work and for how long is a key issue. I worked swings (1pm to 11pm including guard mount and post patrol paperwork) for 15 months straight. I wreaked havoc on my relationship with my then fiancee who luckily stayed with me.

MPs get paid as well as local police officers? I would imagine the two jobs were also quite different.

 

[Newbian]

Don't worry, you're the lesser one.

Whoa there man... to him that's a insult.

 

[Cyco]

Whoa there man... to him that's a insult.

It all depends on how lesser is interpreted.

 

[Hail The Brain Slug]

*clip*

8/10. Would be 10/10 if it was longer to better tie in the nate/lever part into the story.

 

[schneiderguy]

8/10. Would be 10/10 if it was longer to better tie in the nate/lever part into the story.

Thank you, I wrote that instead of studying for finals :whiste:

 

[MarkXIX]

MPs get paid as well as local police officers? I would imagine the two jobs were also quite different.

Pay depends on your rank. As an E-6 with over 6 years in, I made decent money.

Being an MP was only slightly different, mostly with regards to local policy and procedure. My Reserve unit was chock full of civilian officers and they adapted just fine to the temporary change in employer. My unit was also strictly a law enforcement unit back then, so we received training from the Kansas Highway Patrol and other civilian law enforcement agencies.

 

[mnewsham]

Thank you, I wrote that instead of studying for finals :whiste:

Gets an 8/10 from me too. I read that instead of studying for finals

 

[Ben90]

I lol'd schneiderguy you missed an "everyone knows this" though.

 

[schneiderguy]

I lol'd schneiderguy you missed an "everyone knows this" though.

Fixed :awe: