Bob Saget's line from Half Baked
And a bunch from Dumb and Dumber:
"She wrote me a john-dear letter...something about me not listening enough, I don't know...I wasn't really paying attention."
"You know, the elderly, although slow, and dangerous behind the wheel, can serve a purpose. Don't you go dying on me now!"
"Man, that John Denver is full of sh!t!"
Lloyd : That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Girl : Austria.
Lloyd : Austria. Well then, g'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the bar-bie!
Girl : Let's not.
"I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy!"
"If I know her as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets."
Harry: "One time we successfully mated a bulldog with a Sh!tzu."
Mary: "Really? That's weird."
Harry: "Yeah, we called it a bullsh!t."
Harry: "What's her last name? I'll look it up."
Lloyd: "Uh, you know, I don't really recall. Starts with an S. Sue, Swim, Swanny, Slippy, Slappy, Slimming, Salmon, Simmons, Swansin, Swanson. Swanson?"
Harry: "Maybe it's on the briefcase. Look on that."
Lloyd: "Oh yeah! It's right here. Samsonite! I was way off. I knew it started with an S though."