What would you do in the situation?

[kmrivers]

Hello all. I have an issue that I am struggling to find a solution to.

Here we go. I am staying with my g/f for a little while. Her younger brother is staying for a few weeks as well. He is about 19. He has a girlfriend, whom while I was away in Japan cheated on him, I mention my being away because for that reason I don't know many details. This was about 4 month ago though.

They are trying to "work it out". However, this assclown spends hours on the phone knocking her down. This, pisses me off to no end. I can't hear what she is saying, but I am guessing it isn't much since everytime she tries to talk I hear "Shut up, don't you don't speak" or something like that.

This girl has some problems, she has lost parents and some other stuff I don't know about as well. He is not making it any better. He is intentionally playing games with her. I don't know why either, maybe he is pissed off I dont know.

What makes it even worse is this. She is in counseling and the counselor asked to speak with him one time. He feed him this line of bullshit about how he tries to get her to live right, and what not. He feeds this same bull to everyone else too. If only they knew. What is icing on the cake is he is going to school to be a Pastor! A Pastor! Yet is treating her like this.

I wish I could give all the details, but I don't remember everything he says. Usually when I listen to a conversation (one is happening now) I get really really angry. So I am going to ask that you all trust my judgement when I say, this is some pretty f'ed up stuff he is saying to her.

Needless to say, I am worried for her. She already has problems, this could drive her as far as suicide.

Nobody is going to help her. THis guy has everyone thinking he is trying to help, then he tells them how much of a screw up she is. I have discussed this with my girlfriend, however she thinks he is an adult and he can do what he wants.

So.... Here is my problem. I have her telephone number. I want to call her and give her an outlet and ween her off this assclown before some serious damage occurs. Part of me feels I am out of bounds, but I really think this could cause harm to her if it continues.

What would you do?

Cliffs:
This is about my Girlfriends brother and his sorta girlfriend
Girl cheats on guy about 4 months ago
They are trying to "work it out"
He spends all his time putting her down
He has everyone believing he is mr. righteous including her
She already has issues and I think this may escalate them
I think if this continues she may harm herself
Since he has everyone brainwashed I don't think anyone is going to help her
I want to call her and try to assist

Am I out of bounds? What would you do here?

 

[OrganizedChaos]

leave it alone.

9 out of 10 times tring to be the catcher in the rye will make things worse for all involved, she needs to sort her stuff out on her own.

 

[her209]

Knocked the living sh!t out of the little fvcker.

 

[Sqube]

This isn't the type of situation that ends up with somebody patting you on the back, telling you that you did the right thing.

It's more likely to be the situation where somebody curses you out. Leave it alone.

 

[kmrivers]

The problem is, all he has her believing she needs him. Here is an example:

They have a conversation, in that conversation he threatens her saying he will leave and he doesn't want to tallk to her anymore. The next day, she calls.

He tells her she is pathetic, calls her stupid, etc, etc.

There is no way she is going to "sort it out" if he is making her believe all his garbage.

Originally posted by: OrganizedChaos
leave it alone.

9 out of 10 times tring to be the catcher in the rye will make things worse for all involved, she needs to sort her stuff out on her own.

 

[blackdogdeek]

i'd mind my own business

 

[God On Alcohol]

this is like 24 when president logan is trying to shut up her wife by "drugging" her and thinking its the best thing to do

 

[kmrivers]

I don't really care if I get cursed out. Or if someone pats me on the back. This girl needs someone who isnt putting her down 24/7. From what I have heard, her parents do it too, because of what this guy is telling them. She is alone.

Originally posted by: Sqube
This isn't the type of situation that ends up with somebody patting you on the back, telling you that you did the right thing.

It's more likely to be the situation where somebody curses you out. Leave it alone.

 

[Fritzo]

Let her go. You should never have to fight to get a girl. If you do, issues and resentment usually arise.

 

[God On Alcohol]

advice part: HAVE SEX WITH HER! then, she will feel happy and no longer be sad. (WARNING: I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY BREAK-UPS IF YOU TRY THAT ^^^^^ PLAN)

 

[OrganizedChaos]

Originally posted by: kmrivers
The problem is, all he has her believing she needs him. Here is an example:

They have a conversation, in that conversation he threatens her saying he will leave and he doesn't want to tallk to her anymore. The next day, she calls.

He tells her she is pathetic, calls her stupid, etc, etc.

There is no way she is going to "sort it out" if he is making her believe all his garbage.

Originally posted by: OrganizedChaos
leave it alone.

9 out of 10 times tring to be the catcher in the rye will make things worse for all involved, she needs to sort her stuff out on her own.

its the same way with women who get beat by there husbands, until she hits rock bottom she can't be helped.

 

[kmrivers]

Dude I have a girlfriend. I don't want her. I just want to help her get out from under this assclown.

I am going to edit my cliffs, they are misleading.

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Let her go. You should never have to fight to get a girl. If you do, issues and resentment usually arise.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Mark my words, if you involve yourself in this situation things will get nasty. The guy might even know a little more about the girl than you think he does, even though he is obviously being a total prick about it.

 

[kmrivers]

Originally posted by: OrganizedChaos

Originally posted by: kmrivers
The problem is, all he has her believing she needs him. Here is an example:

They have a conversation, in that conversation he threatens her saying he will leave and he doesn't want to tallk to her anymore. The next day, she calls.

He tells her she is pathetic, calls her stupid, etc, etc.

There is no way she is going to "sort it out" if he is making her believe all his garbage.

Originally posted by: OrganizedChaos
leave it alone.

9 out of 10 times tring to be the catcher in the rye will make things worse for all involved, she needs to sort her stuff out on her own.

its the same way with women who get beat by there husbands, until she hits rock bottom she can't be helped.

Even they have people to give them courage and advice. Like their friends.

 

[kmrivers]

Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
Mark my words, if you involve in this situation things will get nasty. The guy might even know a little more about the girl than you think he does, even though he is obviously being a total prick about it.

I don't really care if he knows more. Nobody deserves to be treated this way.

 

[BoomerD]

Damn, sounds like this guy's gonna make quite the pastor someday...Maybe you need to tape his conversations, (or just ask the NSA for copies) and send them to his seminary school for critiqueing his counseling style...

 

[her209]

Okay, here's some serious advice: Tell her what she did is wrong and that you commend her admitting her wrongdonig and for trying to make the relationship work, BUT the guy is obviously taking advantage of the situation and thus proves why he needs to be kicked to the curb.

 

[Sqube]

OrganizedChaos hits it on the head. This isn't the kind of thing you can get her out of. On some level, she thinks she deserves it. You telling her she doesn't isn't going to change anything. She needs to come to that conclusion on her own.

And once she does, she'll be able to get rid of him all by herself. You can't help this situation, but you can righteously piss off everyone involved. And although you don't care, here's a scenario:

You piss off the girl.
The girl complains to the boyfriend.
You piss off the boyfriend.
The boyfriend complains to your girlfriend.
You piss off your girlfriend.

Think you'd care about that? The most, and I mean the absolute most, I could recommend doing is bringing up the subject with your girlfriend. If she doesn't want to get involved, who the hell are you to get involved?

 

[kmrivers]

OMG he is pissing me off to no end. I am going to record some of this stuff and then you can hear it for yourself.

 

[kmrivers]

Originally posted by: Sqube
OrganizedChaos hits it on the head. This isn't the kind of thing you can get her out of. On some level, she thinks she deserves it. You telling her she doesn't isn't going to change anything. She needs to come to that conclusion on her own.

And once she does, she'll be able to get rid of him all by herself. You can't help this situation, but you can righteously piss off everyone involved. And although you don't care, here's a scenario:

You piss off the girl.
The girl complains to the boyfriend.
You piss off the boyfriend.
The boyfriend complains to your girlfriend.
You piss off your girlfriend.

Think you'd care about that? The most, and I mean the absolute most, I could recommend doing is bringing up the subject with your girlfriend. If she doesn't want to get involved, who the hell are you to get involved?

Listen. This asshole is supposed to be a Pastor. You don't talk to people like this, Pastor or not, but this is just ludacris. I am sitting listening to this right now and it is pissing me off so much.

He has her so blinded. This is obvious because she is still on the phone. My girlfriend isn't going anywhere. If she gets pissed, she can kiss it, because if she can't see that this is wrong I dont want to be with her. Not to mention he represents her FAITH!

 

[DAGTA]

If you don't want to lose your girlfriend, keep out of it. Remember, that is your girlfriend's BROTHER and she will likely side with him over you.

 

[kmrivers]

Also, the reason I will not talk to him directly is because he is a pighead, who thinks he knows everything and has it all figured out. I think it would be futile to try and reason with him.

Also, is she(the girl being taken advantage of) got pissed and told him and he came to me. That would be fine. That would be a nice catalyst for me to rip him apart.

 

[Sqube]

Well kmrivers... you're so determined to do this thing that I'm not quite sure why you created this thread at all.

You asked for serious replies. Everybody told you to stay the hell out of it. I said the most you should do is talk to your girlfriend about it, seeing as she is related to this guy by blood. You, in turn, basically told us to piss off because you have to do what's right. So why make the thread? Go handle your business right now, and let us know how it works out.

I will be one of the first to congratulate you if it works out correctly. However, let me also take this opportunity to remind you of the saying "No good deed goes unpunished."

Good luck.

Edit: Just saw your post. If she comes to you... that's an entirely different story. But you trying to initiate the whole thing isn't very likely to work out the way you seem to be thinking it will.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: kmrivers
Also, the reason I will not talk to him directly is because he is a pighead, who thinks he knows everything and has it all figured out. I think it would be futile to try and reason with him.

Also, is she(the girl being taken advantage of) got pissed and told him and he came to me. That would be fine. That would be a nice catalyst for me to rip him apart.

... if you want to lose your girlfriend.

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: kmrivers
Listen. This asshole is supposed to be a Pastor. You don't talk to people like this, Pastor or not, but this is just ludacris. I am sitting listening to this right now and it is pissing me off so much.

He has her so blinded. This is obvious because she is still on the phone. My girlfriend isn't going anywhere. If she gets pissed, she can kiss it, because if she can't see that this is wrong I dont want to be with her. Not to mention he represents her FAITH!

In that case, I'd keep pushing his buttons to no end until he does something stupid and report his ass to the local authorities.