What would you do at work if you were told your job was to do the impossible?

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: notfred
I would do it anyway, and then get a raise.

:thumbsup:

That's what I have done several times. Actually finish the job and then use it for leverage for raises when it's review time.

 

[shilala]

One guy I work with says, "That's impossible" all the time. I give him the same reponse every time, "I'm goin in. If you ain't comin, go sit in the truck."
A defeatist attitude drives me nuts.
I've yet to find something I can't conquer if I'm willing to bang my head on it hard enough.

 

[radioouman]

I'd love to have somrthing like that!
At least they'd let me make a decision!

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

hire an ombudsman to bust a few phones, staplers, and tissue box holders. that ought to clear up the bitching.

 

[isasir]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: apologetic
I'd ask for infinite funding

The group that has that is fed up with the bitchy group and won't work with the bitchy group unless they get unbitchy.

Dare I ask what percentage of the bitchy group is female?

You'll have to find the point when none of 'em are PMS'ing then strike at that opportune moment!

 

[PingSpike]

Right. All you have to do is make a knife out of a toothbrush and stab the leader of the group in the neck with it. Once they see you're crazy, they'll fall in line.

 

[Phoenix86]

Originally posted by: HotChicIf they don't like what we put in place, they work around it.

I have not worked at a job where this would not be grounds for termination. You don't have to like your job, you do have to perform.

I'd terminate the next person with "bitchy" or "petty" issues that fails to perform their job as their managers define.
Have another meeting, see if a resolution can be found.
Replace worker.
Give it some time.
Repeat until you have a team that works together.

At the very least it sounds like you have some sour grapes you need to cut. If the rest of the team sees the writting on the wall and shapes up, great! If not, you will weed out team over time with out killing the orginization.

Good luck, sounds like your managing children! Oh, and ask for a raise.

 

[J Heartless Slick]

I am faced with a similar situation right now. I started out early communicating what the issues are and have continued this communication process. I have found frequent updates on the project's status helps.

Everyone has been surprised when there are positive results and not disapointed with negative results.

 

[Willoughbyva]

If you can not fire someone then tell your bosses that you do not have the proper tools required to do the impossiable task. What would happen if you took both groups and made them all one team? I don't know what to tell you hotchick I don't like office politics and dislike rifts in general. When I work somewhere I just try to do my job and not get involved in stuff like that.

Perhaps you could run something like this by one of your old college professors or someone in the field. Not having the power to change things is the problem for you because the people on both teams probably know it and do what they want regardless of your suggestions. Can you get someone at a high level on your side?

 

[JEDI]

"Your job was to do the impossible?"

Welcome to my world

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: CheapArse
whats this "impossible" task?

Basically an end to end redesign of HR process, centered particularly around recruiting. Where different teams have completely opposite requirements and nobody will give in.

design what you think is best, regardless of the politics. then submit to upper mgmt over those teams and let him deal with it.

 

[DrPizza]

I'd hate to be in your shoes. IMHO, fire anyone who can't work as a team. But, that'd leave a huge percentage of the population unemployable.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Do my best.

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
"your job is to do the impossible"

um... ok. i'm going for coffee.

 

I would get drunk on lunch, and then come back to work and pass out.

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: QuitBanningMe
gopunk asked a great question although I'll change it a little.Do you have the support, trust, and granted authority of your superiors to make the decisions necassary to get things on the right track?

Is the job impossible because you don't or were the past burnouts caused by people unwilling or scared to do what was necessary?

I don't have authority high up enough on the chain. The sane group does, but the bitchy group won't work with them and the sane group doesn't have the authority to do any firing. The bitchy group will listen to me but I have no resources.

The job's impossible because of some past bad experiences which make people disbelieve that anything will get better.

First - work on getting another job lined up.

Second - screw meetings, as that is the best way to get nothing done.

Third - Put "your" mandates into action.

Let the chips fall where they may, at least you gave it your best shot.

Good luck

 

[Tremulant]

Shock collars. Or fire them.

I like the shock collars better. They do something wrong? Zap 'em. They bitch? Zap 'em. They do something right? Zap 'em twice.

 

[Triumph]

sit around and do crossword puzzles.

 

[Lonyo]

I would do it.
Take control of the situation, do your own fighting, Unreal Tournament style (no holds barred), win, and kick some ass.

 

[blakeatwork]

If it truly is impossible, then draft up a presentation detailing exactly WHY it's impossible.

Bury them under so much paperwork and studies, that by the time they finish reading it, they'll have forgotten what the task was in the first place.

If it is possible, then it would get done, and I would accept everyone's adulation as the man who did the impossible....

I found the g-spot!