What to wear at a funeral?

[Mai72]

Just a question.

I have to attend a funeral tomorrow for a coworker who passed away last week. He was only 58 years old. I only knew the guy from work, but I'd like to go so I can sign the book and show my respect. My guess is it's only going to be an hour.

I don't have a dark suit. In fact, I don't have a suit at all. I do have dark dress pants, blue tie and blue dress shirt. I don't have a vest or a jacket. I do have a black plain leather jacket that I was going to wear. I'll just take it off when I'm inside.

So, is this good enough? I haven't attended a funeral in 4-5 years. That was when my mom passed away and I had a suit for that occasion.

People are telling me that many funeral attendees don't wear dark suits like they did in the past. I was even told that jeans are acceptable. I don't want to go there.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I'd say that's fine. I even just wear dress pants and a golf shirt at times. Or dress shirt and tie. I don't even own a suit either. Hate wearing them. Too freaking hot!

 

[dave_the_nerd]

Are you going to a wake or a burial? For a wake, almost anything will work - dark pants, shirt, and tie are fine. Most people just do the church clothes thing. Somber.

 

[Unico]

You should be fine with what you have to wear. Given how others have dressed, and if you feel a bit out of place, compensate by being compassionate and respectful. People will be more observant of your attitude than your wardrobe.

 

[Elixer]

As long as your appearance is good (no holes in shirt/jeans/pants, don't look like a slob/homeless person, and so on), you should be fine no matter what you wear, assuming it is not in bad taste.
You are there to pay respect to the family, nothing more.

 

[Mai72]

Are you going to a wake or a burial? For a wake, almost anything will work - dark pants, shirt, and tie are fine. Most people just do the church clothes thing. Somber.

Just the wake. There is going to be an after event but I'm not going.

 

[SKORPI0]

http://www.wikihow.com/Pay-Your-Respects-when-Someone-You-Know-Dies
http://theocddiaries.com/grief-management/pay-your-respects/
http://www.charmedfinishingschool.com/etiquette-lesson-how-to-conduct-yourself-when-someone-dies/

 

[preCRT]

I don't remember what folks wore to my Dad's funeral back in September, I was grieving his loss [still am, miss him so much].
.
If anyone wore something inappropriate I might have noticed, but did not. Just dress respectfully.

 

[MrSquished]

If I had to go to a funeral next week I'd wear my dark blue suit and feel ok about it. I don't own a black or gray suit, in fact the dark blue one is the only one I own. I'm sure that would be fine.

 

[BoomerD]

Pants are HIGHLY recommended for funeral wear...and depending on the type of funeral...a nice party shirt might be appropriate...or not. I've been to funerals that were dreadfully sad and somber...and a few that were actually fun and had a great party-like atmosphere...in spite of the reason for the gathering.

For the somber types, dark clothing is usually best. If you don't own a suit or sports jacket...at least wear a dark shirt and tie with dark slacks. Black seems to be the most common.

I fucking H-A-T-E funerals. Always seemed to me that the best time to show respect for the person (or people) there is while they're still alive, especially if they're sick...not after they've gone to where-the-fuck-ever once they've died.

 

[Mai72]

Pants are HIGHLY recommended for funeral wear...and depending on the type of funeral...a nice party shirt might be appropriate...or not. I've been to funerals that were dreadfully sad and somber...and a few that were actually fun and had a great party-like atmosphere...in spite of the reason for the gathering.

For the somber types, dark clothing is usually best. If you don't own a suit or sports jacket...at least wear a dark shirt and tie with dark slacks. Black seems to be the most common.

I fucking H-A-T-E funerals. Always seemed to me that the best time to show respect for the person (or people) there is while they're still alive, especially if they're sick...not after they've gone to where-the-fuck-ever once they've died.

Well he had an unexpected heart attack. He wasn't even 60 yet. I agree with your statement. We think we're going to live forever, or we tend to put death out of our minds.

The time to spend time with your loved ones or friends is NOW. Don't take the day for granted. Like most people I'm guilty of this. I'm trying to change though.

 

[zinfamous]

If you have a suit, wear a suit. If not, shirt and tie is fine. No biggie. People aren't going to judge you.
It all depends on the type of service, as they vary widely depending the individual and their people.

Just make sure you wear pants.

 

[JEDIYoda]

Do not I repeat Do Not wear your yellow Speedo`s!!

 

[IronWing]

Do not criticize the person in whose honor the entertainment is given.

Make no remarks about his equipment. If the handles are plated, it is best to seem to not observe it.

If the odor of the flowers is too oppressive for your comfort, remember that they were not brought there for you, and that the person for whom they were brought suffers no inconvenience from their presence.

Listen, with as intense an expression of attention as you can command, to the official statement of the character and history of the person in whose honor the entertainment is given; and if these statistics should seem to fail to tally with the facts, in places, do not nudge your neighbor, or press your foot upon his toes, or manifest, by any other sign, your awareness that taffy is being distributed.

If the official hopes expressed concerning the person in whose honor the entertainment is given are known by you to be oversized, let it pass -- do not interrupt.

At the moving passages, be moved -- but only according to the degree of your intimacy with the parties giving the entertainment, or with the party in whose honor the entertainment is given. Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. Where the occasion is military, the emotions should be graded according to military rank, the highest officer present taking precedence in emotional violence, and the rest modifying their feelings according to their position in the service.

Do not bring your dog.

- Mark Twain

 

[purbeast0]

You should edit your title. You aren't even going to the funeral only the wake. You can wear whatever to a wake. Most wakes I've been to are people coming after/during work so they are just dressed in work clothes.