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What to do with Friend who won't stay friends?

P

Pastfinder

Platinum Member
A friend of mine from years past is a person I can say "has problems." I don't want to go into details but she is the type of person who can't get her sh!t together to accomplish anything of significance and eppears destined for nothingness. Now she has been my friend, but she quote "wants me bad." I'm her friend and see her as nothing more; I have a girlfriend and I care tons about her.

But the person in focus of this post is someone who is so vulnerable that it seems like I have to be there for everything of hers. I care about a lot of people but dammit, I'm fvcking tired of having to be there for all her problems. I'm her friend and don't want to be her boyfriend, period. I worry though that if I tell her this directly or anything of such nature that she will go blow her brains out. She desparately needs therapy and I've tried to steer her in that direction but instead she clings to me like a leech. Now I have to spend part of my fall break with her stupid ass...this blows.
 
You cannot save everyone.

and while you think that she may do something drastic, just the opposite might occur. perhpas a good talking to will be just the kick in the azz that she needs. do it lovingly and gently but firmly.

Her problems should not interfere with your mental health.

Get her to a doctor and tell her no more bull.

🙂
 
You sound like a great friend..."she's fat and meek, she's a leech, now I have spend some time with her stupid ass..."

Either be her friend or don't if she bothers you too much. Seems pretty simple to me.
 
I agree with the majority here. You can't put all of that on your shoulders - it's too much of a burden and you can end up as nutty as she is. Be a good friend and explain to her that you can't solve her problems. She's also infringing on the time that you can spend with your girlfriend.
 
You have to disengage. You are not responsible for her. Nobody can change another person--it is presumptious to think so.
Not your problem. As long as people enable her, she has the necessary ingredients to continue her gig. She has to fall, so let her.
Wash your hands of it and bow out.
 
just keep being friends, or get her to lose weight so she can nice and skinny, and get her to start looking hot, so if you and your G/F break up you can run to your hot skinny friend. Perfect plan if i ever heard one

Dogg
 
Originally posted by: PunDogg
just keep being friends, or get her to lose weight so she can nice and skinny, and get her to start looking hot, so if you and your G/F break up you can run to your hot skinny friend. Perfect plan if i ever heard one

Dogg
Click to expand...

word
 
Explain in detail Ladder Theory to her, including pointing out the website, then tell her straight up that she's strictly on the "friends" ladder. If she blows her brains out over that, then, well, you tried.. Her mental well-being is not your responsibility.
 
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Explain in detail Ladder Theory to her, including pointing out the website, then tell her straight up that she's strictly on the "friends" ladder. If she blows her brains out over that, then, well, you tried.. Her mental well-being is not your responsibility.
Click to expand...

oh wow lol🙂
 
if she blows her brains out, dont' be there to watch it cuz then you committed a crime.

Sorry, I've known a lot of people like this. I used to think that, to be close friends with one person, I had to be friends with all those persons friends as well. That brought about a lot of superficial friendships and relationships which I wish I didn't have, and the result is now everytime I sign on AIM a barrage of IM's comes my way, 9/10 of which I don't answer because usually it's just "sup" back and forth for awhile.

Now that I'm in college it's a lot easier to discard of these old "friendships" which I wish I never had.
 
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