What to do if girl violates you

[Perknose]

<<

<< Perknose: Your avatar hasn't changed in awhile, my friend. Is there something about yourself that you need to tell the rest of us? Any recent "changes" in your life? >>

His name is now Francine... he joined a cult. >>

Francine? That's absurd, ridiculous, just a vicious rumor. :|

Henceforth, however, I do wish to be addressed as Esmerelda.

I want to enjoy that modern day double standard, and to cry in public.

I went to change my avatar the other day, but the palette gets kind of limited after awhile, and I soon lapsed into inertial indifference.

If I think about, I guess I was waiting for someone I truly dislike to take a pot shot at me, so I could perform a little verbal sex change surgery on them. Even the dummies here can be smarter than you think, sometimes . .

Anyway, thanks ever so much for inquiring , Arschloch, you're certainly no dummy. Anyone confident and knowledgable enough to choose the german word for "anal orifice" as his screen name gets high marks in my book! The rest of you can Lech mich am arsch (sp) . . .

 

[PlatinumGold]

<< Lech mich am arsch (sp) . . . >>



Perk if we tried to do as you suggested would it be considered rape?

 

[stev0]

I'd would say thanks and ask if she wanted to come over tomorrow night too

 

[Maleficus]

<< who cares, since it didn't actually happen. >>

 

[Hammer]

Nope, not legally, I can tell you that. Try and charge any same sex sexual assault as rape and see what happens.



<< While the term rape is generally used in conjunction with forced sexual intercourse, the word covers any forced sexual act, including sodomy. >>

 

[zimmie6576]

I took a Criminology course last year, and I learned a pretty good deal about rape. It was mainly about a guy raping a girl (which I would say is more common), but the ideas are the same. The number one reason a person gave for committing rape was "she asked for it", usually backed up by "she was always flirting" or "she was always wearing sexy clothes", etc. The fact is, the victim is never at fault in a rape, because "she (or he) asked for it" is never an excuse. Rape in nonconsentual sexual contact (oral, vaginal, anal). Period. Just because someone got drunk or fell asleep is absolutely no excuse to take advantage of them. It has several times been proven that the victim is 100% innocent, even if as some here have said "they put themselves in the position for that to happen". The victim is never even partially guilty, unless it is consentual(sp?) and later they claim they were raped (then it's not really a rape, and there is no victim).

I can't believe you people (one especially) who maintain that he was partially at fault. The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim nows. Let's say a woman is raped by a friend of hers, after he helps her carry her groceries in from shopping. By your logic, the rape is partially her fault because she went out and bought groceries and somehow ran in to her friend (i.e. someone she would completely trust), and because she let him help her carry things into her home. What if his car was broke down and couldn't get home, so she let him sleep on the couch, and he proceeded to rape her once she fell asleep? You would say it's her fault for being nice to someone she trusts.

Those of you that maintain the victim is at fault are seriously demented. You even seem to have the mentallity that most rapists have. You disgust me.




BTW, I am male, not female, and I feel this way.

 

[Perknose]

<<

<< Lech mich am arsch (sp) . . . >>

Perk if we tried to do as you suggested would it be considered rape? >>

:Q Damn, the untoward moral, theological and legal ramifications overwhelm me here, not to mention the simple, straightforward hygenic issue!

Kiss my ass, but air kisses only, PlatinumGold!. Unlike a certain Come Hither Canadian, there are NO answers in MY pants.

The only question I'd even consider entertaining would be along the lines of BettyBoop's famous, "Got any ideas what a beautiful, rich nymphomaniac like myself can do tonight"? Because sometimes, I just like to help.

 

[thomsbrain]

<<

<< What to do if girl violates you >>


ask her to do it again? >>

 

[sandorski]

Assuming that this actually happened.

Most guys probably have fantasized about this, however, having a serious relationship with another woman complicates the situation. Thus making the fantasy a potential nightmare.

It seems that many are hung up on what constitutes rape. Does the raped have to feel violated, vulnerable, or emotionally distressed? Not IMO. There is great potential here that this act could undermine the serious relationship. The "friend" could lie about what happened, making a case for consentual sex, which could be accepted by this guys girl or it could become a cause for doubt that will always affect the continuation relationship.

Should it be reported? Tough question. On principle, I'd say yes, but from a practical perspective I'd say maybe. The problem lies in the ability to prove it, another thing to consider is whether you or your partner can deal with the additional stresses that such a charge can bring. You should talk to your GF first before taking this kind of action. One other thing is, how much do you value this "friend"? If she has simply done something stupid(see first point below), you might be able to eventually get by this unfortunate incident, but you'll have to consider your GF's feelings in this matter.

Why did she do it? Perhaps she was incorrectly thinking that giving a Hummer would make you fall in love with her(most likely scenario). Or she could be a psycho sexual predator, which would make her a potential "danger" to others, especially if she becomes a teacher or someone who works with children in the future(unlikely, but you never know).


Whatever you choose to do, make sure to tell your GF before your "friend" does. In fact, I wouldn't deal with your "friend" until the GF was filled in first, just in case your "friend" decides to get revenge by telling your GF some story about what happened.

 

[RONType1]

<< Send flowers? >>



how about sending breathe mints?

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Drive your girlfriend over to this chick's house. Both of you go knock on the door. When she answers, smile, point at her with one hand, and hand your girlfriend a baseball bat with the other hand.

nik

 

[Eli]

Bah. This thread makes me mad. All you guys just blowing this off as nothing.

Obviously some of you don't know anybody that was raped or sexually abused as a child. I never was, however I know a few that were, including my girlfriend.

It makes me so angry to think that another person could even think about doing that to someone else. You have no idea how much it can effect someone. Any form of rape is absolutely horrible..

I do see where people would see this as being a bit different, it certainly is different than say a child being raped, as far as the victim goes.. however, I feel that it should be prosecuted as the same.

Stay away from her. She's not going to do anything but cause trouble.

If you feel like you need to tell your girlfriend, then do so. But if you know that it's going to upset her, then don't bother. There's no point in telling her if it will just make her upset.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< If you feel like you need to tell your girlfriend, then do so. But if you know that it's going to upset her, then don't bother. There's no point in telling her if it will just make her upset. >>

Then what's the point of talking? People talk. People disagree. People agree. People are hurt. It's all part of relationship. And, if you're not willing to communicate (lovingly and appropriately) with someone you love or are committed to about something like this, then you're doing them and yourself a grave disservice. The simple fact that he's questioning whether to tell her or not is evidence enough that he feels a little guilty for something (even though he has no reason to feel guilty) and that he should get it off his chest with his girl.

nik

 

[LordMaul]

Umm....how much?

 

[spanner]

My advice

Think twice before telling your girlfriend. Remember if you tell her, all the questions about why you were alone with her and all that crap WILL come up. There is no proof this ever happened (oops I forgot you just told all of us, hope you are anonymous buddy) which can be a good thing as far as your girlfriend goes but is a bad thing should you decide to sue. As for what to do with the girl, talking to her to see where she stands is probably a good idea.

 

[Eli]

<< << If you feel like you need to tell your girlfriend, then do so. But if you know that it's going to upset her, then don't bother. There's no point in telling her if it will just make her upset. >>

Then what's the point of talking? People talk. People disagree. People agree. People are hurt. It's all part of relationship. And, if you're not willing to communicate (lovingly and appropriately) with someone you love or are committed to about something like this, then you're doing them and yourself a grave disservice. The simple fact that he's questioning whether to tell her or not is evidence enough that he feels a little guilty for something (even though he has no reason to feel guilty) and that he should get it off his chest with his girl.

nik >>



Yeah, I guess you're right. But on the other hand, I still think it should at least be taken on a case by case basis. It is true, that some things are left better unsaid.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< Remember if you tell her, all the questions about why you were alone with her and all that crap WILL come up >>

And she deserves an explaination. Why would he have anything to hide? If he and his girl work through this, they'll be a stronger couple, guaranteed. Any progress is good progress.

nik

 

[DaiShan]

<<

<< Question for the guys who say that a man can't be raped -

What happens if another man sucked you off while you were asleep? What would you call that?
>>



again, i wouldn't call it rape, mb sexual harassment would be too weak, but i wouldn't call it rape. i really dont' think men can understand, even if your in prison and take all kinds of abuse, what a woman goes thru when she is raped. it is different. >>



no doubt it is horrible for a woman to be raped, but it would be equally horrible for some 300 pound guy named bubba to make a playground outta your ass....
also, is it rape if a guy goes down on a chick while she is asleep.. yes, same concept.

 

[Orsorum]

<<

<<

<< Question for the guys who say that a man can't be raped -

What happens if another man sucked you off while you were asleep? What would you call that?
>>



again, i wouldn't call it rape, mb sexual harassment would be too weak, but i wouldn't call it rape. i really dont' think men can understand, even if your in prison and take all kinds of abuse, what a woman goes thru when she is raped. it is different. >>



no doubt it is horrible for a woman to be raped, but it would be equally horrible for some 300 pound guy named bubba to make a playground outta your ass....
also, is it rape if a guy goes down on a chick while she is asleep.. yes, same concept. >>



Yeah, it is.

I think the issue that most people are having with this whole thing is the idea that he should go to the police... if you look at it on a scale, no, it doesn't seem like that big of an issue.

On the other hand, none of us are in this guy's shoes. This can be a serious issue, undeniably, in any relationship, regardless of your level of communication. If I was going out with a girl, and she had told me that she got... serviced while she was sleeping... I'm not sure what I would think. I mean, there would be some natural distrust (deny it, but it's there), some shock, hurt, anger, etc. All over something as simple as oral sex...

It's not that simple.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<me sings>
"DaiShanos! Let the rhythm take you over -DaiShanos! Te quiero... amorito"
</sings>

nik

 

[Orsorum]

<< <me sings>
"DaiShanos! Let the rhythm take you over -DaiShanos! Te quiero... amorito"
</sings>

nik >>



?? What are you, and can I have some?

 

[Jfur]

<< I took a Criminology course last year, and I learned a pretty good deal about rape. It was mainly about a guy raping a girl (which I would say is more common), but the ideas are the same. The number one reason a person gave for committing rape was "she asked for it", usually backed up by "she was always flirting" or "she was always wearing sexy clothes", etc. The fact is, the victim is never at fault in a rape, because "she (or he) asked for it" is never an excuse. Rape in nonconsentual sexual contact (oral, vaginal, anal). Period. Just because someone got drunk or fell asleep is absolutely no excuse to take advantage of them. It has several times been proven that the victim is 100% innocent, even if as some here have said "they put themselves in the position for that to happen". The victim is never even partially guilty, unless it is consentual(sp?) and later they claim they were raped (then it's not really a rape, and there is no victim).

I can't believe you people (one especially) who maintain that he was partially at fault. The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim nows. Let's say a woman is raped by a friend of hers, after he helps her carry her groceries in from shopping. By your logic, the rape is partially her fault because she went out and bought groceries and somehow ran in to her friend (i.e. someone she would completely trust), and because she let him help her carry things into her home. What if his car was broke down and couldn't get home, so she let him sleep on the couch, and he proceeded to rape her once she fell asleep? You would say it's her fault for being nice to someone she trusts.

Those of you that maintain the victim is at fault are seriously demented. You even seem to have the mentallity that most rapists have. You disgust me.


BTW, I am male, not female, and I feel this way. >>



I agree 100% -- she sexually assaulted him. It was wrong. He is not at all to blame.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<<

<< <me sings>
"DaiShanos! Let the rhythm take you over -DaiShanos! Te quiero... amorito"
</sings>

nik >>



?? What are you, and can I have some? >>

Sorry, just got the urge to sing Bailamos while looking at DaiShan's username.

nik

 

[Hammer]

no, its not. its sexual assault.



<< also, is it rape if a guy goes down on a chick while she is asleep.. yes, same concept. >>



I think you'll find the law has a very narrow definition of what constitutes rape.

 

[Eli]

lol....