What this nation needs is to ask our kids to do LESS

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yhelothar

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,407
39
91
waggy said:
My philosophy on raising kids is rather easy.

kids need structure AND free time.

My daughter has Gymnastics 2 days a week from 4-6 (she is on the pre-teams been doing it little over a year) and swim lessons 1 hour a week.

I also make her read a book a few books over the summer and tell me about them (wich she will do more then i demand).

My son is in karate, gymnastics and swim lessons.

rest of the time its free play. i limit the TV and video games. rest of the time is either in the playroom, basement or outside.

I feel kids need the free time to make up games and figure out what to do. they come up with games they make up, they have built a fort (a storm knocked it down though) and have explored the town.

free time is just as important as anything.
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Very good point. The real world functions on structure so it's still important to train them with it.
 
R

rchiu

Diamond Member
Jun 8, 2002
3,846
0
0
All these ways to raise kid debate is stupid. Kids are different, some are smarter than the other, some conform to rules more than the other, some loves reading, some loves playing sport, what are you gonna do, apply tiger mom style to all kids, or apply lose style to all kids?

Individual kids need individual up bringing. What parents need to do is to care, to spend time and to be flexible. And most of time the better way to bring up the kids is somewhere in between those two styles and adjust according to the phase and the situation at one particular time.
 
yhelothar

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,407
39
91
Very true. But unfortunately our education system tries to apply a one size fits all, and studies show that the method used is detrimental to a majority of students' learning preferences.

But your point is absolutely correct and hopefully our education system can one day step out of this archaic system an apply the principle of individualization.
 
StrangerGuy

StrangerGuy

Diamond Member
May 9, 2004
8,443
124
106
My neighbour is a piano teacher and there are always parents handling their kids to her for piano lessons every weekend. But I have always wondered whether these kids are actually interested in learning piano on their own or are just simply forced by their parents so they can boast "my kid is better than yours". I'm inclined to the latter.
 
C

CptObvious

Platinum Member
Mar 5, 2004
2,501
7
81
I experienced some reverse culture-shock living in Seoul for several years and then living again in the South (U.S.). One culture pushes their children too hard and one culture doesn't push them enough. Hard to say which is worse, though I'm inclined to respect the former. That being said, in Korea, Japan and China there's a new generation of young parents who are better educated than their parents and encourage creativity in their kids. The middle and upper class kids that are growing up now in Asia will have little or no gap in creative opportunities than those in America or Europe.

I just see the article as a little naive. If you're an upper-class professor at Princeton like the author, then you can afford to give your children time for creativity while still providing a world-class education. If you're a working-class low-educated immigrant working a dry cleaners, then pushing your kid to success through a narrow path of education is more forgivable. It's just a generational cycle.
 
S

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
astroidea said:
Very true. But unfortunately our education system tries to apply a one size fits all, and studies show that the method used is detrimental to a majority of students' learning preferences.
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The one size method is used because it usually works. Despite what people think, their kids are not special.

It's like training dogs. Out of 10 dogs, 9 of them can be trained exactly the same way. The 1 that doesn't seem to learn anything is labeled "retarded" and is put down.
 
SphinxnihpS

SphinxnihpS

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2005
8,368
25
91
ShawnD1 said:
Wanna know how I know you're Asian?



Wanna know how I know you're Asian?


article

I wonder if putting a ton of pressure on them has anything to do with this :hmm:
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I'm as Asian as any caucAsian. Most all caucasians are descendants of Asians though.

So yeah, how do you know I'm Asian?
 
N

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
millions of kids grow up unstructured, without helicopter parents.

99% of them grow up to become fuck-ups.
 
yhelothar

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,407
39
91
ShawnD1 said:
The one size method is used because it usually works. Despite what people think, their kids are not special.

It's like training dogs. Out of 10 dogs, 9 of them can be trained exactly the same way. The 1 that doesn't seem to learn anything is labeled "retarded" and is put down.
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Ah it's like training dogs. That says a lot doesn't it?
 
N

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
astroidea said:
There's a huge gap between the structure of our public education and being unstructured. :colbert:
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I was more thinking about life in general.

saying that kids need their lives to be unstructured, given the freedom to play, etc is such a White People Problem :rolleyes:

my mom teaches in the inner city... her kids have no structure in their home life, no one riding their ass to push themselves, no one limiting their imagination... none of them are growing up to invent the next world-changing device because their imaginations are so free.
 
S

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
loki8481 said:
my mom teaches in the inner city... her kids have no structure in their home life, no one riding their ass to push themselves, no one limiting their imagination... none of them are growing up to invent the next world-changing device because their imaginations are so free.
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Pretty much this. A few of the above posters had it right. Kids need just enough freedom to prevent them from exploding. It's a lot like a dewar flask actually :hmm:

Maybe 90% of their life could be tightly regulated. The other 10% is freedom. That's how my work day is. I can't just show up whenever the hell I want (actually I can but most jobs aren't this awesome).
 
yhelothar

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,407
39
91
loki8481 said:
I was more thinking about life in general.

saying that kids need their lives to be unstructured, given the freedom to play, etc is such a White People Problem :rolleyes:

my mom teaches in the inner city... her kids have no structure in their home life, no one riding their ass to push themselves, no one limiting their imagination... none of them are growing up to invent the next world-changing device because their imaginations are so free.
Click to expand...

And you just know that 99% of them are going to be fuck ups? :hmm:
By the way, no one argued that kids lives need to be completely unstructured period...
 
waggy

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
ShawnD1 said:
Pretty much this. A few of the above posters had it right. Kids need just enough freedom to prevent them from exploding. It's a lot like a dewar flask actually :hmm:

Maybe 90% of their life could be tightly regulated. The other 10% is freedom. That's how my work day is. I can't just show up whenever the hell I want (actually I can but most jobs aren't this awesome).
Click to expand...

mm i wouldn't say that much. more like 70% structured and 30% freedom. then again it changes with each child and i guess where you live.
 
M

Mr. Pedantic

Diamond Member
Feb 14, 2010
5,027
0
76
mm i wouldn't say that much. more like 70% structured and 30% freedom. then again it changes with each child and i guess where you live.
Click to expand...
If you can put numbers to it you have way too much free time.
 
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