What should I look for in a massage parlor?

[NiteWulf]

Never been to a massage parlor, but I've been thinking about sending the girlfriend as a gift. How do I choose? Are there certain things I should be looking for (certifications, etc.)? What should I expect to spend?

 

[mrrman]

I went to a legit one and a complete massage was around $150...head to toe...it was about an hour...its easy to tell what ones are seedy by the way it looks...

 

[UncleWai]

happy ending

 

[hiromizu]

Originally posted by: mrrman
I went to a legit one and a complete massage was around $150...head to toe...it was about an hour...its easy to tell what ones are seedy by the way it looks...

I like the really painful Chinese massages. Those old ladys have some serious power. In Chinatown NY, they're about $60 an hour with tip and you walk out feeling like a high Gumby.

 

[se7en]

I would look online for local reviews and then go see them in person. I have no idea about certifications but generally talking with the employees' will give you an idea of their capabilities.

If its for a chic look for a spa not really a massage parlor as they will have a variety of services the lady will enjoy. The one I send my wife too has several packages of things they do and the cost goes up with each.

Things like foot scrub, facial, skin treatments, body wraps blah blah blah.

I spend 275 for a day where she goes but that includes most of what they do a light lunch and I think a quick hair trim to remove split ends. It also keeps her there for like 6 hours or something crazy while I drink myself retarded.

They probably start at around 60 and the biggest one where she goes is 375.

 

[richardycc]

$150 for a regular full massage? thats a bit much, that's more than they charge on a cruise/spa at a casino...I pay about $50 for an hour massage, depending on the cost of living in your area, I don't think it should be more than $70.

 

[krunchykrome]

Where is Citrix? He can answer all of your questions.

 

[NiteWulf]

Originally posted by: se7en
I would look online for local reviews and then go see them in person. I have no idea about certifications but generally talking with the employees' will give you an idea of their capabilities.

If its for a chic look for a spa not really a massage parlor as they will have a variety of services the lady will enjoy. The one I send my wife too has several packages of things they do and the cost goes up with each.

Things like foot scrub, facial, skin treatments, body wraps blah blah blah.

I spend 275 for a day where she goes but that includes most of what they do a light lunch and I think a quick hair trim to remove split ends. It also keeps her there for like 6 hours or something crazy while I drink myself retarded.

They probably start at around 60 and the biggest one where she goes is 375.

A spa was really more along the lines of what I was thinking but I figure I'd ask about straight massage parlors. I'm just not aware of what's around here.

What should I ask the employees to get an idea of their capabilities?

 

[compuwiz1]

I was in China Town, San Francisco. A very attractive lady who looked like Lucy Liu approached me with a coupon for $25 per half hour massage. I was with my wife and daughter, who were in one of the shops. I told her I was interested, but should check in with my wife first. She says, NO! NOT GOOD IDEA! LOL
I think she had more in mind than just giving me a massage. :laugh:

 

[tyler811]

No used condoms on the floor or wet white "paint" on the walls

 

[se7en]

Originally posted by: NiteWulf

What should I ask the employees to get an idea of their capabilities?

Just random questions about their services. I asked the lady at the desk of several places and got a wide range of answers.

The one I chose went like this: "This package offers a full 60min massage with tea tree oil that relaxes the skin while giivng it a warn natural glow. Then we follow with a soothing seaweed poppy seed facial to bring the oil out of the skin and rejuvenate the dry skin. For the foot rub we use a jello shooter golden supermax alternator spread that will remove the dead skin and leave the feet smelling very bulk like" I have no idea all the BS she threw in there but it sounded like she either knew what the deal was or least memorized it.

The one I didnt choose went like this "This package is for a 60minute massage and some other things listed there how would you like to pay".

Not that the lady at the desk was going to do the massage but if the desk person knows their stuff it leads me to think that the rest of the staff should be as well versed.

All I know is my wife wants that like every birthday now so I dont even have to go shopping.

 

[JEDIYoda]

also make sure it closes at a descent hour and isn`t open til 4am.....lolol

 

[sjwaste]

Originally posted by: se7en
I would look online for local reviews and then go see them in person. I have no idea about certifications but generally talking with the employees' will give you an idea of their capabilities.

If its for a chic look for a spa not really a massage parlor as they will have a variety of services the lady will enjoy. The one I send my wife too has several packages of things they do and the cost goes up with each.

Things like foot scrub, facial, skin treatments, body wraps blah blah blah.

I spend 275 for a day where she goes but that includes most of what they do a light lunch and I think a quick hair trim to remove split ends. It also keeps her there for like 6 hours or something crazy while I drink myself retarded.

They probably start at around 60 and the biggest one where she goes is 375.

Dude, your motives for it absolutely rock. I just pictured myself getting retarded on the couch watching football while my girlfriend was off for the day at the spa, and it sounds like something I have to give her as a present at some point. I might even have both of us take some time-lapse pictures of ourselves to compare side by side every 15 mins. That would be hilarious.