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What kinda spider is this?

UNCjigga

UNCjigga

Lifer
Found this lil' sucker at the foot of my bed this morning when I woke up. I swear to God this spider was acting all drunk and disoriented...one of the slowest spiders I've EVER seen (an easy kill.) Seeing it all red like that made me think it had been feasting on my blood all night and that my moving around might have injured it and caused it to fall out of the bed.

Of course, before I killed it, I took pics! Put them all together in a composite image. The first two shots on the left show it all sprawled out with its legs at an awkward angle. After I encouraged it along, it started to sober up as you can see in the top pic ('whoa dude, I drank way to much blood last night!") The bottom right pic shows the spidey and my big ugly toe for size comparison (yeah, I clipped my toenails after showering.)

I've never seen this spider before, so any help with identification is appreciated. It is definately NOT a garden spider, although the size and body structure seems similar. But all garden spiders have markings on the back and this spider's barebacked.

Anyway, here's the pic
 
Originally posted by: WinstonSmith
Originally posted by: Jigga
Originally posted by: WinstonSmith
It's a Brown Recluse
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way off...doesn't look anything like one.

brown recluse
Click to expand...

Yeah, but a Black Widow would have been too obvious. 😀


Seriously, I have reference books I can check out tomorrow. Too durn tired to find it now.
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Not even close to a BRS. The main thing that gives it away is the fact that the BRS has little to no coloration whatsoever on its abdomen. The spider in the picture clearly has a pattern. The eye configuration of the BRS is a total of six in pairs of 2 separated a bit, and I can't see that in the pictures either.

I used to be infested with the BRS, and I at many times had to scrutinize the spiders I found in order to build a case for breaking a lease I had at that time. That said, I have no idea what spider is actually in the picture.
 
It's one of those ones that lays its eggs in the ears of mammals, for incubation. I saw a show about it on Discovery. You may want to see a doctor if you think it deposited its eggs in your ear.
 
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