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What is your favourite Chris Rock skit/line?

H

hypn0tik

Diamond Member
A few of my personal favourites include:

"We don't need gun control, we need bullet control. Now, if each bullet cost five thousand dollars there wouldn't be no more innocent bystanders! ... Man, I'd blow your fvcking head off, if I could afford it! I'm gonna get myself a second job, start saving some money, and you better hope I don't get no bullets on layaway..."

"Hillary Clinton put the freedom of our world in jeopardy. She's the first lady. She should have been the first one on her knees! Monica shouldn't even have stood a chance. She should've been like 'I got it! I got it! Tickle his ass or somethin'. Tickle his ass!"

I'll add a few more later as I think of them.
 
"I don't need no air bag! Just give me two hefty bags filled with Jello! Why Jello? I want to have a little snack before the ambulance comes!"
 
"We don't need gun control, we need bullet control. Now, if each bullet cost five thousand dollars there wouldn't be no more innocent bystanders! ... Man, I'd blow your fvcking head off, if I could afford it! I'm gonna get myself a second job, start saving some money, and you better hope I don't get no bullets on layaway..."
Click to expand...

I like that as well 🙂
 
"Who are the most racist people? Old, black men. You know that guy Willie at work? You know, the one where you're like, 'Oh, Willie, he's a nice guy.' Yeah?! Willie hates yo guts. Cracka ass cracka!"
 
"Theres's black people....and then there's ******. "Every time black people want to have a good time, ign'ant-ass ****** f--- it up! ... Can't do nothing! Can't keep a disco open more than three weeks! Grand opening! Grand closing! Can't go to a movie the first week it comes out! Why? Cause ****** are shooting at the screen! ... I love black people, but I hate ******, brother. Oh, I hate ******! Fee fye fo figga boy I hate a ******"
 
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