What is YOUR definition of a "slut?" ***BONUS: with happykitten rants***

happykitten

Golden Member
Feb 6, 2001
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Okay. There are TWO closely related double standards I'd like to address here.

RANT #1 - I'm SO sick of the double standard that exists when it comes to sex and how soon it becomes "okay" to have it, depending on whether you're male/female.

In order for a guy (and his friends) not to think that the girl that he's with is a "slut" (even though there's a very definite possibility HE partakes in behavior that might label him a "slut), the girl may have to "pretend" that she's not ready to sleep with him (for the sake of her image) until they've hung out for a certain amount of time, even if she's ready for an intimate relationship or just wants a quick fling (similar to the thinking of so many guys - no strings attached!).

Why do so many people think it's okay and even "cool" for a guy to get some action early in a relationship, but "slutty" and "skanky" for a confident girl who knows what she wants and goes for it?

One more example: Suppose a girl meets some guy at a bar and has sex with him later that night. She wakes up the next morning, and more people than not (who know about what happened, friends or strangers) have labeled her a slut. The guy, on the other hand, is "a stud." Does anyone know WHY this happens, or WHAT triggers this mentality??


RANT #2 - Some people complain that if a male sleeps around, he's considered "the man," but if a girl does the same thing, she's frowned upon and labeled a "nasty ho."

So here's the question: By your definition, what do you consider a "slut?"

I asked my guy friends what they considered a "slut," and they said:

-she wears minimal clothing
-she teases guys
-she dances like a stripper

By their definition, I might be a slut. I wear little tops when I go out to clubs (not out to the mall or to work though, obviously!), I completely let myself go to the music, and with the way I let loose, dance, and shake my @ss on the dancefloor, some guys might be getting wood. BUT, that does NOT mean that I will pay any attention to, much less sleep with any guy who wants to, nor that I will pick up any guy I might be attracted to and sleep with him.

I am a one guy woman. 100% devoted to my man, always have been and always will be.

So those brief replies just aren't it.

By the way (as I mentioned to my guy friends), to those of you who might answer this question by saying, "A slut is a girl who..." Excuse me, but MEN can be "sluts/skanks/trash/ho's/[insert derogatory term here]" every bit as much as women can.

Personally, I don't think it's the actual numbers as much as it is the circumstances surrounding the numbers. A hot 'n heavy session in bed with a long-term girlfriend is NOT slutty, whereas a hot 'n heavy session with your best friend's girlfriend IS.

Final note: Plenty of people have a past, and who's to judge? Some people (both lads and ladies) go through their "slut" stages, which shouldn't brand them for life. People experiment, people change, and society's labels shouldn't stick to them permanently... of course, as always, to each his/her own. If you're happy doing what you're doing and you're not hurting anyone else in the process, you shouldn't let anyone else's opinions affect your actions.

Hope all of this made some sort of sense... I just noticed a trend here in the forums, and wanted to address it before going to sleep. I'm off to bed now. Looking forward to reading some interesting replies tomorrow...
 

tkim

Platinum Member
Dec 23, 2000
2,103
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a girl can wear or do whatevet the hell she wants. my thing is though, if she sleeps around she a ho. THAT GOES FOR GUYS TOO!! that's mho.


BOTTOM LINE: both girls and boys can be whores...it's ok for some but not for me.
 

Rent

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2000
7,127
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If I see a girl who is just all over a guy, then I consider her a slut. I could care less if your wearing next to nothing (actually, it helps ;) ), as long as you aren't talking slang and bein a total teast your not a slut in my book.
 

SSP

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
17,736
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What Radeon said. Add to that if she sleeps with a new guy every week.
 

Jmman

Diamond Member
Dec 17, 1999
5,302
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A girl that shakes her ass on the dance floor......gotta luv that...:cool:

As far as your rants, imho, don't worry about it. Caring about what other people think about you is waaaay overrated......anyway, a slut to one person is a prude to another......
 

mztykal

Diamond Member
Apr 21, 2000
6,708
48
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I WAS a slut. But I'm better now! I'm very content with my g/f and don't plan on going anywhere. I guess everyone has/had there 'fun' stages in their lives and they just grow out of it. But hey, the term slut doesn't apply to us guys, we prefer to be called 'man-whore'. Dammit, get it right! ;)


 

GL

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
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Whereas some guys call girls slutty if they look a certain way, I just call that being frowsy. Slutty is a term reserved for those girls who are promiscuous.

Examples:
Britney Spears is frowsy.
Christina Aguilera is frowsy.
Mariah Carey is frowsy.
Asia Carrerra is slutty.
Monica Lewinsky is slutty.

As for the double standard, yes it's pretty evident. Which is funny. I went to an all-guys high school and guys were calling truly slutty guys, sluts all the time. The guys being called sluts somehow took a certain pride in it although the guys calling them that weren't exactly setting out to instill pride. I personally stood away from those guys with a ten foot poll....it was like their germs would jump out of them they were so frowsy and slutty!

-GL
 

pamchenko

Golden Member
Nov 28, 1999
1,213
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hrm, a slut is someone who sleeps around. You can cry all you want about the double standard but look at the flip side of the coin. A girl who doesn't sleep around is "innocent/pure/desirable" (a positive thing), but a guy who doesn't sleep around is "gay/loserish/both" (definite negatives). If you're a girl who's willing to put out fast, to many guys you're cool. However, you'll get labeled a slut by those guys that can't get any.
Guys are studs for the reasons you stated because it is HARDER for a guy to bring home a chick. A chick ultimately makes the decision whether or not to sleep with him because a guy will pretty much sleep with anyone unless they are gay soss. So because the guy has a sharp "game," he's praised with "stud." A chick who is too easy and willing to say yes. If she manages to nab the hottest guy at the bar, I don't think anyone would call her a slut. If she went home with any loser, that means she's a slut cuz she has no standards/ is easy whatever.

regarding rant #2, the way u dress/dance can make you trashy, but not slutty. dressing in a provocative manner and dancing like a stripper invites a mixture of comments from "she's hot" to "that's trash."
if you tease guys, that's cool, just don't tease the losers that don't know better and actually fall for you. Then you can hurt ppl and that's not cool :( So its best to tease good looking ppl and try to humble them, but you gain NOTHING from teasing a lonely nerd cuz he'll fall for you. I see too many posts on ATOT like this.

guys/girls also go through their highest periods of sexual activity at different times. guys earlier than girls. hrm...there are guy sluts definitely, a guy who will sleep with a dog...but they feel bad as is. I've never called anyone a slut personally. I have called ppl other things if i'm displeased with them.
 

Namuna

Platinum Member
Jun 20, 2000
2,435
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To have sex with a man/woman purely for the sake of satiating a carnal hunger.

That, in my textbook, makes a person a 'slut'.
 

Mister T

Diamond Member
Feb 25, 2000
3,439
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happykitten,

You should not give a sh!t about what most people say. I am sure people that consider you a close friend
and respect who you are know better than to call you a slut.
 

Jmman

Diamond Member
Dec 17, 1999
5,302
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Wow, tough definition Namuna. I guess that means that 99.9999% of the world's population are sluts.....ouch......
 

AMDJunkie

Diamond Member
Dec 6, 1999
3,431
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Probably because a guy's original function was to bang any female he saw for survival of the species.
 

tkim

Platinum Member
Dec 23, 2000
2,103
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pam....if you put it that way, i'm a CS slut....and i pimping myself!!!
 

Capn

Platinum Member
Jun 27, 2000
2,716
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Well men aren't generally referred to as sluts because, by definition really a slut is a permiscuous female. Not sure what a permiscuous male would be called though.
 

Namuna

Platinum Member
Jun 20, 2000
2,435
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Hmmm, that def was rather open ended...Let me specify...

To have sex with a man/woman, YOU DON'T/BARELY KNOW, purely for the sake of satiating a carnal hunger.

Or in milder terms, sex without love/feelings for the other person.
 

Rudee

Lifer
Apr 23, 2000
11,218
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A "slut" will sleep with anyone. A "bitch" will sleep with anyone BUT YOU! :)