Okay. There are TWO closely related double standards I'd like to address here.
RANT #1 - I'm SO sick of the double standard that exists when it comes to sex and how soon it becomes "okay" to have it, depending on whether you're male/female.
In order for a guy (and his friends) not to think that the girl that he's with is a "slut" (even though there's a very definite possibility HE partakes in behavior that might label him a "slut), the girl may have to "pretend" that she's not ready to sleep with him (for the sake of her image) until they've hung out for a certain amount of time, even if she's ready for an intimate relationship or just wants a quick fling (similar to the thinking of so many guys - no strings attached!).
Why do so many people think it's okay and even "cool" for a guy to get some action early in a relationship, but "slutty" and "skanky" for a confident girl who knows what she wants and goes for it?
One more example: Suppose a girl meets some guy at a bar and has sex with him later that night. She wakes up the next morning, and more people than not (who know about what happened, friends or strangers) have labeled her a slut. The guy, on the other hand, is "a stud." Does anyone know WHY this happens, or WHAT triggers this mentality??
RANT #2 - Some people complain that if a male sleeps around, he's considered "the man," but if a girl does the same thing, she's frowned upon and labeled a "nasty ho."
So here's the question: By your definition, what do you consider a "slut?"
I asked my guy friends what they considered a "slut," and they said:
-she wears minimal clothing
-she teases guys
-she dances like a stripper
By their definition, I might be a slut. I wear little tops when I go out to clubs (not out to the mall or to work though, obviously!), I completely let myself go to the music, and with the way I let loose, dance, and shake my @ss on the dancefloor, some guys might be getting wood. BUT, that does NOT mean that I will pay any attention to, much less sleep with any guy who wants to, nor that I will pick up any guy I might be attracted to and sleep with him.
I am a one guy woman. 100% devoted to my man, always have been and always will be.
So those brief replies just aren't it.
By the way (as I mentioned to my guy friends), to those of you who might answer this question by saying, "A slut is a girl who..." Excuse me, but MEN can be "sluts/skanks/trash/ho's/[insert derogatory term here]" every bit as much as women can.
Personally, I don't think it's the actual numbers as much as it is the circumstances surrounding the numbers. A hot 'n heavy session in bed with a long-term girlfriend is NOT slutty, whereas a hot 'n heavy session with your best friend's girlfriend IS.
Final note: Plenty of people have a past, and who's to judge? Some people (both lads and ladies) go through their "slut" stages, which shouldn't brand them for life. People experiment, people change, and society's labels shouldn't stick to them permanently... of course, as always, to each his/her own. If you're happy doing what you're doing and you're not hurting anyone else in the process, you shouldn't let anyone else's opinions affect your actions.
Hope all of this made some sort of sense... I just noticed a trend here in the forums, and wanted to address it before going to sleep. I'm off to bed now. Looking forward to reading some interesting replies tomorrow...
RANT #1 - I'm SO sick of the double standard that exists when it comes to sex and how soon it becomes "okay" to have it, depending on whether you're male/female.
In order for a guy (and his friends) not to think that the girl that he's with is a "slut" (even though there's a very definite possibility HE partakes in behavior that might label him a "slut), the girl may have to "pretend" that she's not ready to sleep with him (for the sake of her image) until they've hung out for a certain amount of time, even if she's ready for an intimate relationship or just wants a quick fling (similar to the thinking of so many guys - no strings attached!).
Why do so many people think it's okay and even "cool" for a guy to get some action early in a relationship, but "slutty" and "skanky" for a confident girl who knows what she wants and goes for it?
One more example: Suppose a girl meets some guy at a bar and has sex with him later that night. She wakes up the next morning, and more people than not (who know about what happened, friends or strangers) have labeled her a slut. The guy, on the other hand, is "a stud." Does anyone know WHY this happens, or WHAT triggers this mentality??
RANT #2 - Some people complain that if a male sleeps around, he's considered "the man," but if a girl does the same thing, she's frowned upon and labeled a "nasty ho."
So here's the question: By your definition, what do you consider a "slut?"
I asked my guy friends what they considered a "slut," and they said:
-she wears minimal clothing
-she teases guys
-she dances like a stripper
By their definition, I might be a slut. I wear little tops when I go out to clubs (not out to the mall or to work though, obviously!), I completely let myself go to the music, and with the way I let loose, dance, and shake my @ss on the dancefloor, some guys might be getting wood. BUT, that does NOT mean that I will pay any attention to, much less sleep with any guy who wants to, nor that I will pick up any guy I might be attracted to and sleep with him.
I am a one guy woman. 100% devoted to my man, always have been and always will be.
So those brief replies just aren't it.
By the way (as I mentioned to my guy friends), to those of you who might answer this question by saying, "A slut is a girl who..." Excuse me, but MEN can be "sluts/skanks/trash/ho's/[insert derogatory term here]" every bit as much as women can.
Personally, I don't think it's the actual numbers as much as it is the circumstances surrounding the numbers. A hot 'n heavy session in bed with a long-term girlfriend is NOT slutty, whereas a hot 'n heavy session with your best friend's girlfriend IS.
Final note: Plenty of people have a past, and who's to judge? Some people (both lads and ladies) go through their "slut" stages, which shouldn't brand them for life. People experiment, people change, and society's labels shouldn't stick to them permanently... of course, as always, to each his/her own. If you're happy doing what you're doing and you're not hurting anyone else in the process, you shouldn't let anyone else's opinions affect your actions.
Hope all of this made some sort of sense... I just noticed a trend here in the forums, and wanted to address it before going to sleep. I'm off to bed now. Looking forward to reading some interesting replies tomorrow...
), as long as you aren't talking slang and bein a total teast your not a slut in my book.
Facebook
Twitter