What is your attitude towards your daughter dating?

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Millennium

Originally posted by: conjur
Well, I think I've done a good job of instilling values in my oldest daughter (now 16). Plus, she has seen a cousin of hers become a mother at the ripe ol' age of 17 and the problems she has to deal with. And, my daughter is now babysitting for her cousin's new baby so gets to care for a baby on a regular basis and realizes how much work it is! She's also on birth control to help control her cycle and reduce the pain she was having w/her period (caused her to miss several days of school last year) but she knows that 's not a free ride. She says she wants to go to college, get her degree, start a career and then look to settle down. <sniff> I'm so proud!

That said, she's been dating the same boy (her "first love") for a year now. He's a quiet type and at times they'll be off hiding in a room somewhere, making out, I'm sure. But there's always adult supervision if he is here or she is at his home. He doesn't have his own car yet so I guess I'm lucky at this point.

Pics?

Not for you animals!

 

[damiano]

one thought for you...
I have a son...

And I don't cre if he dates your daughter even they are both underage

lol

 

[BeauJangles]

Originally posted by: ghostman
I knew you would end up forking the topic into a new thread.

In any case, since I mentioned the shotgun comment on the last thread, I figure I should back it up.

she will make her own mistakes and learn from them.

Sure, I think people should learn from their mistakes. But when we're talking about having sex while still in high school (17 years old, as the other thread mentioned), there is no way I'm going to let my daughter make that kind of mistake. What happens if she gets pregnant at age 18? Her financial, social and academic life may be ruined. Sure, she might meet a nice guy and he'll actually stick around. But that's not certain and I would trust my shotgun a lot more than I would trust some college freshman's word.

I realize I'm overprotective. I wish I could grill the guys that my older sister hangs out with. I think that she's likely to be blind of his faults early on in the relationship, so I find it my duty to help point them out as an...ahem...unbiased third party. I just need to see security for my loved ones. So, all my sister has to find is a successful medical student, going to a well-respected school, coming from a well-respected undergrad program (who doesn't show off), has a stable family and doesn't own a riced-out car. Is that so much to ask?

I don't see what's wrong with having sex in high school. If she's smart, she won't get pregnant, it's pretty simple. And, honestly, if my parents tried to control me so much in college, I would've done other things (drugs, alcohol). The more control parents apply, the more a kid rebels. Let them live their own damned lives.

 

[Spamela]

just show their date my powerlifting awards, then tell them privately that if they
hurt her i'll hunt them down & pull their arms off.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: BlinderBomber

Originally posted by: ghostman
I knew you would end up forking the topic into a new thread.

In any case, since I mentioned the shotgun comment on the last thread, I figure I should back it up.

she will make her own mistakes and learn from them.

Sure, I think people should learn from their mistakes. But when we're talking about having sex while still in high school (17 years old, as the other thread mentioned), there is no way I'm going to let my daughter make that kind of mistake. What happens if she gets pregnant at age 18? Her financial, social and academic life may be ruined. Sure, she might meet a nice guy and he'll actually stick around. But that's not certain and I would trust my shotgun a lot more than I would trust some college freshman's word.

I realize I'm overprotective. I wish I could grill the guys that my older sister hangs out with. I think that she's likely to be blind of his faults early on in the relationship, so I find it my duty to help point them out as an...ahem...unbiased third party. I just need to see security for my loved ones. So, all my sister has to find is a successful medical student, going to a well-respected school, coming from a well-respected undergrad program (who doesn't show off), has a stable family and doesn't own a riced-out car. Is that so much to ask?

I don't see what's wrong with having sex in high school. If she's smart, she won't get pregnant, it's pretty simple. And, honestly, if my parents tried to control me so much in college, I would've done other things (drugs, alcohol). The more control parents apply, the more a kid rebels. Let them live their own damned lives.

hmm....STDs? Condom breaks? It's not just a matter of being smart about getting pregnant. While being overprotective can be detrimental, so can being lax enough so that their kid is drinking, smoking, and dropping sh!t all in 10th grade.

 

[ElFenix]

i'd be pretty damned surprised!

 

[Red]

Fathers... I was the kid you liked in highschool. I came home, shook your hand firmly, asked lots of questions, kept the conversation going... never even touched your daughter in front of you. Once we got out of the house (I'll make sure she is home by 11, Mr. Smith) ... we would go to one of my buddies house, drink some cocktails, and I fvcked your daughter. And all of her friends. It happens in every highschool across the nation, stop trying to fight it.

j/k... however, 9/10 kids do have sex in high school, and every parent thinks their son/daughter is the 1/10...HAHAHA.

 

[iotone]

i think you gotta make sure you don't shelter your daughter, and that you have an open communication line with her (yeah, i've been there... it's hard when you're a teenager)... i think the more you openly talk about stuff like that, the more they know you're just trying to watch out for you (just be careful to be calm 'n' stuff and not make it like a lecture!)...

 

[Ime]

Assuming I have any daughters, they could date when they turn 16.

Hmmm... my wife just informed me that any daughters we have can date when they're 30! :Q

She's more strict than I am!

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: ghostman
I knew you would end up forking the topic into a new thread.

In any case, since I mentioned the shotgun comment on the last thread, I figure I should back it up.

she will make her own mistakes and learn from them.

Sure, I think people should learn from their mistakes. But when we're talking about having sex while still in high school (17 years old, as the other thread mentioned), there is no way I'm going to let my daughter make that kind of mistake. What happens if she gets pregnant at age 18? Her financial, social and academic life may be ruined. Sure, she might meet a nice guy and he'll actually stick around. But that's not certain and I would trust my shotgun a lot more than I would trust some college freshman's word.

I realize I'm overprotective. I wish I could grill the guys that my older sister hangs out with. I think that she's likely to be blind of his faults early on in the relationship, so I find it my duty to help point them out as an...ahem...unbiased third party. I just need to see security for my loved ones. So, all my sister has to find is a successful medical student, going to a well-respected school, coming from a well-respected undergrad program (who doesn't show off), has a stable family and doesn't own a riced-out car. Is that so much to ask?

Did you have sex in high school?

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
Did you have sex in high school?

Well?

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Orsorum
Did you have sex in high school?

Well?

Yes. What I find lacking in this country is birth control education besides Abstinence. I can tell you that Abstinence doesn't mean much to the majority of kids in school. TMK, the teen birth rate is higher in the US per 1000 girls than in in most countries in Europe. Our stance on sex is so conservative and the view so liberal that we are doing more bad than good. Etc, etc..

 

All I know is, my children aren't going to be raised anything like typical parents rear their kids today. It's going to be a firm foundation, be it a guy or a girl. I won't give a leeway to boys. (I do suspect I will have boys. ) So, no dating until about age 16. Social dating for the most part when that time hits. Don't start the kids sneaking behind my back crap. Tell me how many of those kids whose parents are open about things don't still end up going astray. Most importantly, I tend to believe that character trait is primarily genetically defined with the environment shaping it for worse or positively enhancing it. I would hope to choose a man with good traits and whose family members are decent. My concept is moderation. I don't want to be an overprotective parent, but I don't want to be a lax parent either.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Orsorum
Did you have sex in high school?

Well?

Well, no. My mom's only advice to me was to request that I wait until after graduating from highschool to have sex. She also told me that if I got pregnant I would be on my own.

So, I waited several days after graduation to start having sex. I was 17 btw.

Edit: no, I never got any diseases, and wasn't a teen mother...and I had my first child at 27 (after 2 years of marriage)

 

[PHiuR]

Originally posted by: AngryPirate

Originally posted by: conjur
Well, I think I've done a good job of instilling values in my oldest daughter (now 16). Plus, she has seen a cousin of hers become a mother at the ripe ol' age of 17 and the problems she has to deal with. And, my daughter is now babysitting for her cousin's new baby so gets to care for a baby on a regular basis and realizes how much work it is! She's also on birth control to help control her cycle and reduce the pain she was having w/her period (caused her to miss several days of school last year) but she knows that 's not a free ride. She says she wants to go to college, get her degree, start a career and then look to settle down. <sniff> I'm so proud!

That said, she's been dating the same boy (her "first love") for a year now. He's a quiet type and at times they'll be off hiding in a room somewhere, making out, I'm sure. But there's always adult supervision if he is here or she is at his home. He doesn't have his own car yet so I guess I'm lucky at this point.

Hate to say it but if they have ben together for a year, they are doing a little more than making out.

sorrie to tell ya....1 yr in hs... = MOST likely fcvkin...they got nothin better to do these days...(im 16 btw)

 

Hopefully she won't scrape her knees the way I'm thinking she might.

 

[boyRacer]

Originally posted by: PHiuR

Originally posted by: AngryPirate

Originally posted by: conjur
Well, I think I've done a good job of instilling values in my oldest daughter (now 16). Plus, she has seen a cousin of hers become a mother at the ripe ol' age of 17 and the problems she has to deal with. And, my daughter is now babysitting for her cousin's new baby so gets to care for a baby on a regular basis and realizes how much work it is! She's also on birth control to help control her cycle and reduce the pain she was having w/her period (caused her to miss several days of school last year) but she knows that 's not a free ride. She says she wants to go to college, get her degree, start a career and then look to settle down. <sniff> I'm so proud!

That said, she's been dating the same boy (her "first love") for a year now. He's a quiet type and at times they'll be off hiding in a room somewhere, making out, I'm sure. But there's always adult supervision if he is here or she is at his home. He doesn't have his own car yet so I guess I'm lucky at this point.

Hate to say it but if they have ben together for a year, they are doing a little more than making out.

sorrie to tell ya....1 yr in hs... = MOST likely fcvkin...they got nothin better to do these days...(im 16 btw)

i doubt it... they seem ok. but all hell breaks loose when they go to college.

 

[ragazzo]

medical pictures of vd victims will scare her till she's in her 20's

EDIT:
Throw in documentaries & movies about early teen pregnancy for good measue.

 

[Bleep]

I raised 2 girls and 3 boys and it is a real job to try and keep them from making mistakes that they will regret later on.
My only thing was that I wanted to meet the date before the day of the date and pass judgement.
My oldest told me one that she did not like me picking her friends, I told her she could pick all the friends
she wanted but I would pick her enemies.

Bleep

 

[virtuamike]

I left a bad impression on my sister's 1st bf. I shook his hand at dinner and I didn't know he sprained it, was pretty painful for him. I never saw him again

 

[ghostman]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Orsorum
Did you have sex in high school?

Well?

haha...no. :frown: But if I had, that's supposed to change my perspective?

Sure, as a father, you might think, "That boy my daughter is dating was like me when I was growing up!" But I'd be hard-pressed to believe that you'll also think, "Hope he gets lucky like I did!" That high school girl's father would've snapped your neck if he found out!

I think you have to take yourself away from the boyfriend's perspective and place yourself in the father's perspective. If that doesn't do it, think of it as a right of passage for the boy: You want my daughter, you'll have to take my sh!t until I see a wedding ring on her finger.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: ghostman
haha...no. :frown: But if I had, that's supposed to change my perspective?

Sure, as a father, you might think, "That boy my daughter is dating was like me when I was growing up!" But I'd be hard-pressed to believe that you'll also think, "Hope he gets lucky like I did!" That high school girl's father would've snapped your neck if he found out!

I think you have to take yourself away from the boyfriend's perspective and place yourself in the father's perspective. If that doesn't do it, think of it as a right of passage for the boy: You want my daughter, you'll have to take my sh!t until I see a wedding ring on her finger.

Neither did I, and I'm sure my perspective will change once I have children. I'm just providing fodder for the discussion.