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What is the most sham IT job you can get?

Nograts

Nograts

Platinum Member
While I'm nefing off at work I like to daydream about the day when I don't HAVE to work. I browsed some IT jobs on monster and a few other sites just for fun, but they all come with really long lists of crap you supposedly have to do and I got to thinking...what is a real lazyman's IT dream job?

I'd like to stay in the field when I retire, but I don't want to have to do any heavy thinking. I'm thinking maybe be the guy that just runs cat5 cable through ceilings or maybe work in a mom and pop computer shop (best buy if it's still around?) and just clean up viruses on peoples PC.

Something sham.

Anyone know if a job like this exists? And where it can be found?
 
Let me get htis straight. You want a job where you don't have to do anything and you want someone else to find it for you.

That is awesome levels of laziness.
 
Elevenpog said:
While I'm nefing off at work I like to daydream about the day when I don't HAVE to work. I browsed some IT jobs on monster and a few other sites just for fun, but they all come with really long lists of crap you supposedly have to do and I got to thinking...what is a real lazyman's IT dream job?

I'd like to stay in the field when I retire, but I don't want to have to do any heavy thinking. I'm thinking maybe be the guy that just runs cat5 cable through ceilings or maybe work in a mom and pop computer shop (best buy if it's still around?) and just clean up viruses on peoples PC.

Something sham.

Anyone know if a job like this exists? And where it can be found?
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I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Those jobs you described might not take much effort, but they don't pay much either. They basically get paid what the market pays for that level of competence/work.

A sham on the other hand is more along the lines of a con artist ripping people off using dishonesty or underhanded tactics often even illegal to get gullible people to part with their money.

Ever see Wolf of Wall St.? If you haven't, check it out. I think it's free on Amazon if you have Prime. That was a sham. Not the movie but what the main character did to his clients. For another example Bernie Madoff was a sham.
 
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disappoint said:
Those jobs you described might not take much effort, but they don't pay much either. They basically get paid what the market pays for that level of competence/work.
Click to expand...

That's not 100% true. You can sometimes luck into a job where no one knows what you do, and it's important enough that someone has to do it, but you seldom have to do it. It could probably be outsourced, but nobody looks close enough to make that happen.

I don't think you can find jobs like that. They occur via magic. I always imagined a small private school would get you pretty close though. Keep the trivial network up and running, remove viruses from the secretary's machine, and setup a projector every so often. It's as close to doing nothing as you can get.
 
Personally, that job exists in many offices, at least, in my experience. I've worked with a number of IT 'pros' who haven't the foggiest idea of what they're doing.

One such instance, the had a /24 DHCP scope assigned to the entire WiFi hotspot of a college campus. It was not a big campus, but it was big enough that the 48 hour lease duration would run out of addresses every day. I went in and change the duration to something like 30 minutes, and then he said it wasn't handing out enough addresses as it usually handed out something like 30 an hour. 256/30 = 8.53; meaning the scope would be completely out of addresses within 9 hours. And to top it off, all of the wireless access points had IPs in this same range and all 30 or so of them were configured with DHCP.

Suffice it to say, just find an IT Admin job for a relatively small shop. Chances are, if you know what you're doing, you can just coast while maintaining the few bits and pieces of what they have.
 
mvbighead said:
Personally, that job exists in many offices, at least, in my experience. I've worked with a number of IT 'pros' who haven't the foggiest idea of what they're doing.

One such instance, the had a /24 DHCP scope assigned to the entire WiFi hotspot of a college campus. It was not a big campus, but it was big enough that the 48 hour lease duration would run out of addresses every day. I went in and change the duration to something like 30 minutes, and then he said it wasn't handing out enough addresses as it usually handed out something like 30 an hour. 256/30 = 8.53; meaning the scope would be completely out of addresses within 9 hours. And to top it off, all of the wireless access points had IPs in this same range and all 30 or so of them were configured with DHCP.

Suffice it to say, just find an IT Admin job for a relatively small shop. Chances are, if you know what you're doing, you can just coast while maintaining the few bits and pieces of what they have.
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:O I want that college job. Hot college babes. Network illiterate boss. Sign me up!
 
Puppies04 said:
Let me get htis straight. You want a job where you don't have to do anything and you want someone else to find it for you.

That is awesome levels of laziness.
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Sounds like a very shitty project manager, which is roughly 90% of all of them that I've worked with.
 
We have a number of contractors who meet your criteria, they are supposed to be doing work, but, hey tricked whomever interviewed them.

Of course we have great contractors too ... but, some of them ... are so terrible
 
I hate how IT has become such a blanketed term, one which everyone assumes that you are help desk.

You want a help desk job - that's what it comes down to.
 
we had this one Network Engineer once... he married rich to the point where he no longer really needed to work anymore.

rather than quitting, he decided that he'd see how long he could stay employed while doing nothing all day.

he showed up on-time, sat down at his desk, and spent all day surfing the net/playing Flash games while ignoring the ticket queue, not responding to IM's, and pretty much only doing work if someone came up to him in-person and directly asked him to do something.

this went on for like a year before he was finally fired.
 
Elevenpog said:
While I'm nefing off at work I like to daydream about the day when I don't HAVE to work. I browsed some IT jobs on monster and a few other sites just for fun, but they all come with really long lists of crap you supposedly have to do and I got to thinking...what is a real lazyman's IT dream job?

I'd like to stay in the field when I retire, but I don't want to have to do any heavy thinking. I'm thinking maybe be the guy that just runs cat5 cable through ceilings
Click to expand...

I don't know how old you are, but that's absolutely and totally ass-backwards. When you're 60 or 65 or 70, you don't want to be doing physical labor. Running cable isn't exactly laying bricks, but it can be a filthy job that requires you to be up and down ladders all day. Not what I want to do when I'm 70.

Keep your mind active or it turns into mush. Use the knowledge that you've spent decades acquiring. THAT is the cushiest and most enjoyable job you can do.

or maybe work in a mom and pop computer shop (best buy if it's still around?) and just clean up viruses on peoples PC.

Something sham.

Anyone know if a job like this exists? And where it can be found?
Click to expand...

Many IT jobs are sham. Most customer service is a brainless, thankless, poor paying job. With lots of openings.
 
there used to be jobs that you work the night shift and reset the server or connection when it goes down. Most people just sleep until the alarm wakes them up....don't know if those jobs are still out there.
 
loki8481 said:
we had this one Network Engineer once... he married rich to the point where he no longer really needed to work anymore.

rather than quitting, he decided that he'd see how long he could stay employed while doing nothing all day.

he showed up on-time, sat down at his desk, and spent all day surfing the net/playing Flash games while ignoring the ticket queue, not responding to IM's, and pretty much only doing work if someone came up to him in-person and directly asked him to do something.

this went on for like a year before he was finally fired.
Click to expand...

That is a great story. Always wondered how long something like that would go on for.
 
Harrod said:
This, preferably on stuff that doesn't involve t1's or ds3's. I don't want to brag, but I've answered 2 phone calls this week, and 1 was a wrong number.
Click to expand...

lol

But the big displays make it look like you're doing super important stuff.
 
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