One I want, but it would probably be a bit long is:
"This sticker is supposed to be on my bumper. You are not."
Others that I would like to see:
"You were made in God's image -- ugly bastard, isn't He?"
"Proctocracy (n): Rule by a$$holes."
"Cat: The Other White Meat."
"Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for life."
"100,000,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?"
"Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them."
"The early worm gets eaten by the bird."
"I would have been your father but the monkey beat me up the stairs."
"You are proof that God has a sense of humour."
"Learn from your parent's mistake: Use birth control"
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. "
"Like most endeavors, life is seriously over-advertised and under-funded."
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?"
"Overworked and Underlayed"
"It's not video games that cause violence, it's kids
NOT staying at home to play video games that causes violence."
"An object at rest cannot be stopped."
"Power is uniformly distributed to the people that least deserve it."
"No, I said rape, pillage, *then* burn... they're no good if they're crispy."
"Lo que no mata, engorda -- That which does not kill us, makes us fatter"
"Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time."
"The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars."
"Hey! Where am I going? And what am I doing in this handbasket?"
"People Who Look On the Bright Side Go Blind"
"I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?"
"Women would rather be right than reasonable."
"Why isn't the world ever unfair in my favour?"
"If Vegetarians Eat Vegetables....Then Beware Of Humanitarians!!"
"Just When You Thought Life's a B!tch, It Has Puppies "
"Artists and engineers create wealth, lawyers and politicians redistribute it."
"A man is as old as the woman he feels. -- Groucho Marx"
"Question Authority and the Authorities will question You!" <-- I can picture that on a Department of Homeland Security car
"Speed does not kill. Stopping very quickly does."
"I'm going insane and taking you all with me!!!"
"Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children."
"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."
"The truth will set you free, but first it will p!ss you off."
"I'm going to live forever, or die trying."
There, enjoy
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