what is the best item you acquired from the wreckage of your parents divorce?

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Zanovar

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2011
3,446
232
106
Jeebus fuck - a lot of people here apparently had deadbeat fathers. Who knew it was that many? I'm counting a total of 8 thus far in this thread?

I was actually listening to a podcast the other day where someone was talking about this as a big issue that no one wants to address. Specifically with whole "women's empowerment" movement, everyone is scared to say how important dads are because of the "I don't need no man I can do this!" that women are now preaching.

He was bringing out statistics (no idea what his research was from) that showed for example 90% of people in prison didn't have a dad - also high correlation with suicide.

EDIT: Here are some more quick stats: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

Ya,noticed this also.:S my dad was cool all through my childhod.love him.some crappy dads though it seems :S
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,167
1,638
126
Jeebus fuck - a lot of people here apparently had deadbeat fathers. Who knew it was that many? I'm counting a total of 8 thus far in this thread?

I was actually listening to a podcast the other day where someone was talking about this as a big issue that no one wants to address. Specifically with whole "women's empowerment" movement, everyone is scared to say how important dads are because of the "I don't need no man I can do this!" that women are now preaching.

He was bringing out statistics (no idea what his research was from) that showed for example 90% of people in prison didn't have a dad - also high correlation with suicide.

EDIT: Here are some more quick stats: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

For what its worth, my grandfather is my favorite human being who ever lived.
He taught me everything I know about how to be a decent person.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,136
30,086
146
Jeebus fuck - a lot of people here apparently had deadbeat fathers. Who knew it was that many? I'm counting a total of 8 thus far in this thread?

I was actually listening to a podcast the other day where someone was talking about this as a big issue that no one wants to address. Specifically with whole "women's empowerment" movement, everyone is scared to say how important dads are because of the "I don't need no man I can do this!" that women are now preaching.

He was bringing out statistics (no idea what his research was from) that showed for example 90% of people in prison didn't have a dad - also high correlation with suicide.

EDIT: Here are some more quick stats: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

whereas best pretty much anyone around here can tell, you are the product of a loveless, hate-filled, maybe abusive marriage where two miserable assholes refused to do the right thing and split because of "tradition" or somesuch.

...I mean, it's one way to explain your zero-to-volcano anger in most of your posts. :D
 
Nov 8, 2012
20,828
4,777
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whereas best pretty much anyone around here can tell, you are the product of a loveless, hate-filled, maybe abusive marriage where two miserable assholes refused to do the right thing and split because of "tradition" or somesuch.

...I mean, it's one way to explain your zero-to-volcano anger in most of your posts. :D

Nope... Can't say that matches my parents. Plus after my sister became a druggie I easily moved up in rank to the favorite child slot :p

Even if it were, I would definitely take a "stay together for the kids" parents instead of a deadbeat father... As I posted earlier, that hurts the kids more than people realize.
 

Sonikku

Lifer
Jun 23, 2005
15,745
4,563
136
Jeebus fuck - a lot of people here apparently had deadbeat fathers. Who knew it was that many? I'm counting a total of 8 thus far in this thread?

I was actually listening to a podcast the other day where someone was talking about this as a big issue that no one wants to address. Specifically with whole "women's empowerment" movement, everyone is scared to say how important dads are because of the "I don't need no man I can do this!" that women are now preaching.

He was bringing out statistics (no idea what his research was from) that showed for example 90% of people in prison didn't have a dad - also high correlation with suicide.

EDIT: Here are some more quick stats: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/
Perhaps the "I don't need no man I can do this!" mentality was more the consequence of women having to go it alone as evidenced by this thread, rather than the cause.
 
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Nov 8, 2012
20,828
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Perhaps the "I don't need no man I can do this!" mentality was more the consequence of women having to go it alone as evidenced by this thread, rather than the cause.

May very well be true - or play a factor in it at least.

I think the end-point though is that it is still clearly a big issue that needs to be addressed instead of ignored and swept under the rug.
 

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
33,932
1,113
126
Jeebus fuck - a lot of people here apparently had deadbeat fathers. Who knew it was that many? I'm counting a total of 8 thus far in this thread?

I was actually listening to a podcast the other day where someone was talking about this as a big issue that no one wants to address. Specifically with whole "women's empowerment" movement, everyone is scared to say how important dads are because of the "I don't need no man I can do this!" that women are now preaching.

He was bringing out statistics (no idea what his research was from) that showed for example 90% of people in prison didn't have a dad - also high correlation with suicide.

EDIT: Here are some more quick stats: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/
My birth father has somewhere between 8 and 12 children, we're not sure.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,136
30,086
146
May very well be true - or play a factor in it at least.

I think the end-point though is that it is still clearly a big issue that needs to be addressed instead of ignored and swept under the rug.

agreed. ....it's also worth pointing out that your reference to an "entire generation of fatherless kids in prison," falling off of your judgement of "deadbeat dads not willing to stick it out," pretty much ignores the actual tragedy of that specific issue--the fact that the vast majority of such fathers--and their kids--in prison are there because they were caught with a dimebag of weed or crack in their pockets. ....well, the black ones, anyway. The white dudes caught with weed or cocaine would maybe see a year, if any time.


crapola...this is veering off into P&N territory when it started off as such a delightful romp into the cherished childhood experiences of broken, shattered homes. --my sincerest apologies.
 

Mayne

Diamond Member
Apr 13, 2014
8,838
1,374
126
i got a copper bottomed pot, its the best pot i own.
iirc it was part of a wedding gift for my parents back in '72

after my parents spilt up and when I was 6... I got to live with an alcoholic yugoslavian step dad that beat me and made my life hell until the day I ran away from home for good when I was 16. I do have a teacup of my mom's that I cherish.
 
Nov 8, 2012
20,828
4,777
146
agreed. ....it's also worth pointing out that your reference to an "entire generation of fatherless kids in prison," falling off of your judgement of "deadbeat dads not willing to stick it out," pretty much ignores the actual tragedy of that specific issue--the fact that the vast majority of such fathers--and their kids--in prison are there because they were caught with a dimebag of weed or crack in their pockets. ....well, the black ones, anyway. The white dudes caught with weed or cocaine would maybe see a year, if any time.


crapola...this is veering off into P&N territory when it started off as such a delightful romp into the cherished childhood experiences of broken, shattered homes. --my sincerest apologies.

I haven't seen any posts with 2 sentences of nothing but insults. I see rational people discussing things ;)

Though I don't think we had to segregate it down to racial groups - the point was simply that regardless of race the number of statistics that correlate with households that don't have a father in the household is staggering.
 

Zanovar

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2011
3,446
232
106
after my parents spilt up and when I was 6... I got to live with an alcoholic yugoslavian step dad that beat me and made my life hell until the day I ran away from home for good when I was 16. I do have a teacup of my mom's that I cherish.
after my parents spilt up and when I was 6... I got to live with an alcoholic yugoslavian step dad that beat me and made my life hell until the day I ran away from home for good when I was 16. I do have a teacup of my mom's that I cherish.

:(
 
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Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
38,409
8,703
136
Jeebus fuck - a lot of people here apparently had deadbeat fathers. Who knew it was that many? I'm counting a total of 8 thus far in this thread?

I was actually listening to a podcast the other day where someone was talking about this as a big issue that no one wants to address. Specifically with whole "women's empowerment" movement, everyone is scared to say how important dads are because of the "I don't need no man I can do this!" that women are now preaching.

He was bringing out statistics (no idea what his research was from) that showed for example 90% of people in prison didn't have a dad - also high correlation with suicide.

EDIT: Here are some more quick stats: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/
I was far from fatherless. My dad was kind of the ultimate provider, if you wanted money, you had it. But he worked long hours and just wasn't around. When he was home, as long as mom didn't complain, he didn't pay much attention to you. He knew you were there but he didn't engage. He seemed to figure you had your own life. Actually, I think he engaged my older brother and younger sister a lot more than me. I was the middle child. I didn't feel sorry for myself by virtue of that but I did feel kind of ignored sometimes, and with good reason. I dealt with it.
 

PJFrylar

Senior member
Apr 17, 2016
974
617
136
:O the myth of spaceman is true O_O


For what its worth, my grandfather is my favorite human being who ever lived.
He taught me everything I know about how to be a decent person.

I'm sorry to hear that man. I was lucky enough to have excellent parents. Best of luck to you and your mother.
 

IBMJunkman

Senior member
May 7, 2015
722
238
116
My Dad had to pay for my 2 year AAS degree from DeVry on Belmont in Chicago.

And I got an Eico open reel tape deck kit he had. When I was done a couple of power resistors glowed red. :) Had to take it on the bus to his place so he could figure out what was wrong.
 
Nov 8, 2012
20,828
4,777
146
I was far from fatherless. My dad was kind of the ultimate provider, if you wanted money, you had it. But he worked long hours and just wasn't around. When he was home, as long as mom didn't complain, he didn't pay much attention to you. He knew you were there but he didn't engage. He seemed to figure you had your own life. Actually, I think he engaged my older brother and younger sister a lot more than me. I was the middle child. I didn't feel sorry for myself by virtue of that but I did feel kind of ignored sometimes, and with good reason. I dealt with it.

Pretty much one of the main reasons (okay first reason was dickhole manager) that I quit my job. My new job that I'm starting in a week is 100% remote work. I work from home every day unless I need to be at a client (which isn't too often, roughly 25% travel). I hope to keep this job for the next 10+ years as my kids grow up and I can actually see them every day.

I had similar with my dad - though weekends were great and we would hangout as I grew up.... But your typical work week my dad was gone before I got up and didn't get home typically till about 7 every night. He made the big bucks as well.
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
38,409
8,703
136
I had similar with my dad - though weekends were great and we would hangout as I grew up.... But your typical work week my dad was gone before I got up and didn't get home typically till about 7 every night. He made the big bucks as well.
Even weekends my dad wasn't home much. Sundays was the only day he'd eat breakfast with us, it was a family tradition by virtue of that, Sunday brunch at ~10:00AM, and we'd all pitch in cooking and have our one meal/week we'd have together. But probably 1/2 of Sundays he'd be off to work, "on call."

He'd typically get home 8PM maybe on weekdays. Weekdays, and probably Saturdays too, he'd get up about 6AM, get dressed, go downstairs and right to the car. I'd hear that happening from my bedroom.

I remember one vacation in my childhood, we took two weeks and drove around the western US through national parks, eating at diners and staying at motels. I was 14. I think maybe we went to Vegas once, my folks went to adult shows, took me and my sister to a kid friendly show or two. That's it besides a few Sunday drives down to Long Beach (past smelly oil fields) from L.A. for the day on an inlet from the ocean. And bowling, and occasional Sunday brunch or dinner out. And my dad loved baseball, got season tickets to the Dodgers and I went to a few games with him. When he'd come home in the evenings he'd have the ballgame in his ear using a portable radio listening to Vin Scully.
 
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highland145

Lifer
Oct 12, 2009
43,936
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He'd typically get home 8PM maybe on weekdays. Weekdays, and probably Saturdays too, he'd get up about 6AM, get dressed, go downstairs and right to the car. I'd hear that happening from my bedroom.