The Meaning of LIFE
A=1
B=2
C=3
D=4
E=5
F=6
G=7
H=8
I=9
J=10
K=11
L=12
...
The meaning of life is (12+9+6+5)/4 = 8 = 'H'
'H' is spelled 'aitch', which resembles ache and itch, both of which are nuisances and pains. So, the meaning of life is pain. Suffer through it bitches.
(I just made this up, but it sounds good. PM me for citation information.)