A couple has a baby with a strange birth defect – a golden screw stuck in his belly button.
Doctors assure them there’s nothing to be done about it. So the couple takes him home and raises him right and proper.
The boy, alas, grows up ashamed of his difference and blames it on the fact that he has no friends, can’t get a date, has a crummy job, etc. (In truth, his problems are not due to the golden screw, but to the fact that he is, in fact, a total asshole. But perhaps I am editorializing.)
Anyway, he goes to experts around the world to remove the screw, and gets nowhere. He’s told to just live with it.
He sees scientists and surgeons and witch doctors and gurus and philosophers and sorcerers of all kinds and descriptions.
Finally, he goes to a holy man who lives in a tower in the desert somewhere, who says, “I’ll tell you how to get rid of this thing, but you won’t like it. Maybe you should just accept yourself as you are.”
But the guy insists, so the holy man gives him a set of instructions to follow during the next full moon.
He follows the instructions to the letter, then lays down on a lawn chair under the moon – naked, of course – and waits for something to happen.
Finally, a golden dot on the moon gets bigger and bigger and bigger – and closer and closer and closer. After a time, he realizes that a golden screwdriver is flying through the air, directly toward the guy, and he is powerless to escape.
The giant golden screwdriver lands delicately on the golden screw, makes a few quick turns, and flies away, bringing the screw with it.
The young man lays there for a long time (did I mention he was nude?) and marvels at what he has seen. Finally he yawns, stretches and stands up.
And his butt falls off.
Wood screw = would screw = secret admirer?
I gave up coffee last year after 40yr+. I drink mostly low caffeine and decaf tea. I have never tried that brand, why do you choose it over others?