Here it is:
Ballroom Dance Essay
Yes, I?m writing an essay for a ballroom dancing class. I doubt the essay is really going to help me master the tango, or help me with my turns in swing, but some highly intelligent person somewhere on some board of directors or a department chair or something had the brilliant idea that ?Oh, we should require essays for PE classes!?, so here I am. Anyway, the essay is required, so I?d better get started.
I?m supposed to write an essay about the physiological, psychological, and social benefits of ballroom dance, so we?ll start with physiological benefits. In my experience, the word ?physiological? is used almost exclusively when people want to take up a lot of space on paper, or use big words to sound smart. In nearly all of these cases, the word ?physical? could be used instead, and it doesn?t sound nearly as pretentious (ooh? big word, it takes up a lot of space and makes me sound smarter!). So, what are the physiological benefits of ballroom dance? Well, it?s exercise. Not serious exercise like say, rugby or marathon running, but still more serious than say, walking to the kitchen to get a bag of Cheetos. It?s probably on around the same level as jazzercise or tai-bo. It?s just as beneficial as your favorite workout tape, but ballroom dance has an added bonus: you get an excuse to touch girls. I therefore formally declare ballroom dance to be a superior form of exercise to tai-bo.
The psychological benefits of ballroom dance are, well? it?s ballroom dance, not family counseling. It?s a fun activity. Girls smile at you. Does that count as a psychological benefit? I?m going to go ahead and say that it does, because it makes my essay longer, and everyone knows that the best way to judge an essay?s quality is by length. Does a ballroom dance class build confidence? Well, for dancing, it does. I don?t know that I?d be any more confident in my ability to defuse a bomb after taking this class, but I?d definitely feel less stupid at, say, a dance.
The great thing about having an essay topic with three sub-topics is that it fits really nicely into the standard ?introduction, three body paragraphs, conclusion? essay format that we all learned in the 9th grade. I?m on my third body paragraph and I didn?t have to think about the topic for it at all, you know what it is, say it with me ?Social benefits of ballroom dance?, of course! So what are the social benefits of ballroom dance? Ballroom dance will stop hunger and put an end to war. More significantly, it will end telemarketing forever! Yay!
I?m also supposed to mention some stuff about the dance I had to go to for the class (note to whoever makes the requirements for this class: Attending a dance is a relevant assignment, writing an essay is not). I went to a dance held in one of the gyms at school by an advanced class on May 12th. It sucked. There were demonstrations by advanced dance students, and stupid mixer dances that were reminiscent of something from a county fair in Texas. Anyway, the dance wasn?t that great.
About this essay: yeah, it was sarcastic. I expressed my opinion about the relevance of an essay assignment in this type of class. I would like to say that I enjoyed the class (the actual dancing and instruction part), and thought you did a great job teaching it. I still think the essay requirement is stupid.
Ballroom Dance Essay
Yes, I?m writing an essay for a ballroom dancing class. I doubt the essay is really going to help me master the tango, or help me with my turns in swing, but some highly intelligent person somewhere on some board of directors or a department chair or something had the brilliant idea that ?Oh, we should require essays for PE classes!?, so here I am. Anyway, the essay is required, so I?d better get started.
I?m supposed to write an essay about the physiological, psychological, and social benefits of ballroom dance, so we?ll start with physiological benefits. In my experience, the word ?physiological? is used almost exclusively when people want to take up a lot of space on paper, or use big words to sound smart. In nearly all of these cases, the word ?physical? could be used instead, and it doesn?t sound nearly as pretentious (ooh? big word, it takes up a lot of space and makes me sound smarter!). So, what are the physiological benefits of ballroom dance? Well, it?s exercise. Not serious exercise like say, rugby or marathon running, but still more serious than say, walking to the kitchen to get a bag of Cheetos. It?s probably on around the same level as jazzercise or tai-bo. It?s just as beneficial as your favorite workout tape, but ballroom dance has an added bonus: you get an excuse to touch girls. I therefore formally declare ballroom dance to be a superior form of exercise to tai-bo.
The psychological benefits of ballroom dance are, well? it?s ballroom dance, not family counseling. It?s a fun activity. Girls smile at you. Does that count as a psychological benefit? I?m going to go ahead and say that it does, because it makes my essay longer, and everyone knows that the best way to judge an essay?s quality is by length. Does a ballroom dance class build confidence? Well, for dancing, it does. I don?t know that I?d be any more confident in my ability to defuse a bomb after taking this class, but I?d definitely feel less stupid at, say, a dance.
The great thing about having an essay topic with three sub-topics is that it fits really nicely into the standard ?introduction, three body paragraphs, conclusion? essay format that we all learned in the 9th grade. I?m on my third body paragraph and I didn?t have to think about the topic for it at all, you know what it is, say it with me ?Social benefits of ballroom dance?, of course! So what are the social benefits of ballroom dance? Ballroom dance will stop hunger and put an end to war. More significantly, it will end telemarketing forever! Yay!
I?m also supposed to mention some stuff about the dance I had to go to for the class (note to whoever makes the requirements for this class: Attending a dance is a relevant assignment, writing an essay is not). I went to a dance held in one of the gyms at school by an advanced class on May 12th. It sucked. There were demonstrations by advanced dance students, and stupid mixer dances that were reminiscent of something from a county fair in Texas. Anyway, the dance wasn?t that great.
About this essay: yeah, it was sarcastic. I expressed my opinion about the relevance of an essay assignment in this type of class. I would like to say that I enjoyed the class (the actual dancing and instruction part), and thought you did a great job teaching it. I still think the essay requirement is stupid.
Facebook
Twitter