• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

What do you think about age differences in (serious) relationships?

F

Fraggable

Platinum Member
I just got a message at a Christian dating site that I had forgotten I posted on from a girl who's 26-30 yrs old. I'm 21.

In her profile it said: 'My last relationship ended because of age differences...he was 16 years older and it just put us in two very different life states... '

That got me to thinking... How much does age difference matter? I know 16 years is a lot, the guy had to have been at least 42, but what's the limit? I've known couples who were 11 years apart and very happy. The guy was about 40 and she was 29 but you'd have guessed they were no more than 2 years apart just looking at them.

So I'm trying to figure out what I think about the subject and why and thought it would be interesting to hear from ATOT. Especially married ATOTers.
 
I've always dated younger, the youngest being 17 when I was 21. I have never dated older. The age difference seems to become a lot less important as you get older, although I'm only 1 year older than my wife.

FWIW, my in-laws are 8 years apart, and have been married over 25 years.

I think that for most people 5 years or so apart is about the limit... otherwise life experiences have just been too different.
 
Originally posted by: Lonyo
I voted other, because Christian dating sites :thumbsdown:
Click to expand...

The poll has nothing to do with the Christian dating site. I'm just asking your view on the matter of age difference.
 
Originally posted by: Lonyo
I voted other, because Christian dating sites :thumbsdown:
Click to expand...

Eh, I'm one of the biggest religion bashers on AT, but if he's a Christian, it makes for a less conflicted relationship if he dates someone who shares his religious beliefs.
 
Originally posted by: gopunk
so since the 16 years older thing didn't work out, she was going to try 5 years younger? 😕
Click to expand...

Well maybe not. My profile does say i'm 21-25, though somewhere in the details I said I was 21. If she missed that part she could be under the impression I'm 25. People do say I look old for my age.

But I didn't really mean to post a YAGT. This is more about the age difference poll.
 
I'm 28 and talking to a girl now who is 22, there are some minor differences but it's not really a big deal. Besides she is more responsible than I ever was at that age. Already done with school, good job etc... I've almost always dated younger girls (possibly because I look young) but I have a buddy who prefers older chicks (in their 30's) and other firends who date both ways.
 
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Dating someone who is at a different stage in life than you (older or younger) is really weird.
Click to expand...

Define 'different stage' please? Do you mean stages as in 15-17; 18-21; 21-29; 30+?
 
Originally posted by: Fraggable
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Dating someone who is at a different stage in life than you (older or younger) is really weird.
Click to expand...

Define 'different stage' please? Do you mean stages as in 15-17; 18-21; 21-29; 30+?
Click to expand...

i wouldn't define a 'stage' by the person's age group rather than their maturity level. There are plenty of early 20 year olds who are very responsible and seem older than they really are. And the reverse is quite true as well.
 
Originally posted by: doze
I'm 28 and talking to a girl now who is 22, there are some minor differences but it's not really a big deal. Besides she is more responsible than I ever was at that age. Already done with school, good job etc... I've almost always dated younger girls (possibly because I look young) but I have a buddy who prefers older chicks (in their 30's) and other firends who date both ways.
Click to expand...

It's not that big of a deal.. I met my husband when i was 19.. and he was 25/26 we are 6.5 years apart. I'm 28 now and he's 35.
 
Originally posted by: Fraggable
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Dating someone who is at a different stage in life than you (older or younger) is really weird.
Click to expand...

Define 'different stage' please? Do you mean stages as in 15-17; 18-21; 21-29; 30+?
Click to expand...

Someone who's in high school vs. someone in college vs. someone living at home and working vs. someone who has moved out and is working.

I found that girls who were still living at home had an unrealistic view of money. All their money could be spent on leisure, whereas I had bills to pay. Led to some conflicts.
 
Originally posted by: randomlinh
Originally posted by: Fraggable
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Dating someone who is at a different stage in life than you (older or younger) is really weird.
Click to expand...

Define 'different stage' please? Do you mean stages as in 15-17; 18-21; 21-29; 30+?
Click to expand...

i wouldn't define a 'stage' by the person's age group rather than their maturity level. There are plenty of early 20 year olds who are very responsible and seem older than they really are. And the reverse is quite true as well.
Click to expand...

For example, a woman (or man) who is, say, 38 has been through a number of relationships, and possibly one or two marriages. He or she will very likely have a kid or two, and will have an entirely different outlook on life than a 21 year old who is either still in or fresh out of college.

A person in their late 40s will likely have grown children and even different expectations in a relationship.
 
I have been regretting for a couple days now for not to get a girl's number who is 5 years older than me. Can't stop thinking about my stupidity.
 
Originally posted by: EatSpam
Originally posted by: Fraggable
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Dating someone who is at a different stage in life than you (older or younger) is really weird.
Click to expand...

Define 'different stage' please? Do you mean stages as in 15-17; 18-21; 21-29; 30+?
Click to expand...

Someone who's in high school vs. someone in college vs. someone living at home and working vs. someone who has moved out and is working.

I found that girls who were still living at home had an unrealistic view of money. All their money could be spent on leisure, whereas I had bills to pay. Led to some conflicts.
Click to expand...

Very true. It makes it difficult in the long run if you're dating someone who is still in school or still lives at home. They're either in a different stage in their life which you've already moved beyond, they're immature, or both. If I meet someone who is still getting money from their parents that pretty much ends it right there and then. No trust fund babies either.
 
Yes i just got out of a 5.5yr relationship with a girl. I was devastated at first, but now i'm realizing all the problems i did have with her. She's 4 years younger than me, just finishing college, never had a real job in her life, broke up with me to go out with some no job, massage therapy school, surfer dude. She hung out with the same type of people, who had the whole hippy, save the world attitude.

Here i was, working my ass off, trying to save my world attitude, paying rent, phone bills, car payments. Mental level of responsibility, and knowing what should be done, and getting them done. Sorry im still a little bitter.
 
It can either be a big deal, or not a big deal.. Just depends on the people.

I'm 25 and the girl I'm seeing is 21(22 in August).. No big deal.
 
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
Originally posted by: doze
I'm 28 and talking to a girl now who is 22, there are some minor differences but it's not really a big deal. Besides she is more responsible than I ever was at that age. Already done with school, good job etc... I've almost always dated younger girls (possibly because I look young) but I have a buddy who prefers older chicks (in their 30's) and other firends who date both ways.
Click to expand...

It's not that big of a deal.. I met my husband when i was 19.. and he was 25/26 we are 6.5 years apart. I'm 28 now and he's 35.
Click to expand...

I know it's not a big deal, and I really hope things work out well with this one. Best girl I've met in a long time ...possibly best ever.

Why do you think it's more common/acceptable for guys to date younger girls than the other way around?
 
i think it matters more when you're younger and also the difference in the ages.

when i was 20 i went on a few dates with a girl who was 25. she ended up breaking it off because of the age difference.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top