When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did.
Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun.
I'd poison guppies and when I was done,
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head.
That's when my momma said:
She said, "My boy I think some day
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay:
Son, be a dentist!
You have a talent for causing things pain!
Son, be a dentist! People will pay you to be in humane!
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood,
And teaching would suit you still less!
Son, be a dentist - You'll be a success!"