What do you do when you're in love w/ someone, the feeling is mutual, but you can't have them?

[Descartes]

I've known this person for quite a while now, and we have become, and will remain, very good friends. Our feelings for each other are mutual, but we know we can't act on it. I've spent a lot of time, being very close to said person over the past few weeks, and it's really upsetting to know that this time will end.

Quite the frustrating scenario tis. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

[Kelvrick]

Whatcha think I'm in right now, ya punk? It sucks, I know, but oh well.

 

[Tauren]

Why can't you act on it'??

 

[Fearlss1]

Why cant you have her? Yall related heheh jk yeah man it does suck..
-=nate264.89

 

[viewton]

just dooooo it - aaaall night loooong

never look back

 

[myputer]

Just enjoy the time you are spending together now

 

[gooch]

If you can't proceed any further in the relationship, then there is nothing you can do. At least you have a great friend now. I was in a similar situation, we were in college, both of our significant others were out of state, so we couldn't become any 'closer'. We parted ways, ended up marrying other ppl and are still great friends.

 

[ManSnake]

Since the feeling is mutual why can't you act on it?

 

[kbm5]

I'm in the same situation -- she's 1500 miles away, pretty much permanently. Bleech.

What do I do about it? I sulk, ocassionally. Not much else that I can do.

 

[Fearlss1]

no kidding. You may never meet another person you will feel that way about again. IMHO I would take a chance.
Its better to have loved and lost rather than not loved at all
-=nate the poet 23465.4676

 

[CinderElmo]

<< I'm in the same situation -- she's 1500 miles away, pretty much permanently. Bleech. >>



No offense, but why even bother? Doesn't sound like a relationship to me if you can't be together.

 

[Descartes]

Truth be told, we have spent some significant time with one another lately. We haven't gone too far, as the guilt would probably leave some tension between us, but we have spent a significant amount of time just being close to one another.

This person is committed to someone else, lets just leave it at that There are other issues involved, but this is a hindrance that even feelings as strong as ours can't overcome... unfortunately.

 

[Fearlss1]

Truth be told. Human nature wants what it cant have more than what we should choose to have... As the sayign goes &quot;Thou shalt not covent thy neighbors wife.&quot;
I hate those situations. seems to intensify the matter even worse.
-=nate23.467

 

[AaronP]

its simple as this, if she ain't got a ring, she's still in play.

FAIR BALL!

 

[Athanasius]

Descartes:

Minimize the frustration by rejoicing in what you do have in this present reality. Don't focus on what you might have in some hypothetical reality.

It seems like there is something in this present reality that you two are not able or willing to alter. If you aren't willing to alter it, maybe that is because the altering would change the tenor of who you are?

If you sacrifice who you are, or if the friend sacrifices who the friend is, you may lay seeds that would destroy the relationship you think that you want.

Then you would have neither this present reality nor the hypothetical one that caused you to sacrifice this present reality.

Honesty is the pillar of Love, and sets the boundaries within which Genuine Love can be experienced.

EDIT - I just read your most recent post. Be true and honest and contentment will eventually follow.

 

[jaybert]

i hope you're not talking about your sister...or your cousin...or your mother...or basically anyone related to you. At least you know you cant act on those feeligns if they are!

 

[yasha]

Just act on it! Life is too short

Then again, if you marry a bitch, life can be too long

 

[pdo]

friends or best friend leftover? Don't do it dude.

 

[Descartes]

Thanks for all the replies. Athanasius, your posts are always very refreshing, thanks.

No, I'm not related to this person. When I think about it, I think I'd rather sacrifice the idea (or the possibly) of being with her in favor of our friendship. We're great together, and that's not something I find everyday.

I am thankful that I've met someone I can be such great friends with, but knowing what it could be, or at least what I think it could be, is a tone ringing in my ear that just won't easily silence. If I hadn't spent any &quot;close&quot; time with her, I wouldn't know how strongly I felt. Alas, that's not the case, so it's worse.

 

[UnixFreak]

<< This person is committed to someone else, lets just leave it at that >>




I know my opinions arent very welcome at this forum, but I will say it anyway. Dont do it, dude. Look at things for what they are. She is a little bored with her current relationship, and wants to &quot;play around&quot; a little bit, and she is just going to get your hopes up, and smash you down when she goes back to the other guy. This happens everyday. Dont fall for it, she is using her charm to woo you into falling for her, women are so good at that. They really have the power over us. I know this seems really obvious, but there is a problem with her current relationship, which is why she is spending time with you, and suggestively luring you in, but she is still in it. Rule #1 There is NOTHING that forces you to be with somebody if you dont want to. She is in a relationship with someone by her own free will, nobody has a gun to her head, and any reason she gives for not leaving him (or her) is nothing more than an excuse. She is free to leave at anytime, if she wants to. So, even if she does leave him, and stay with you, do you really want her? what if she gets bored with you, are you going to be comfortable with her courting other men behind your back, like she is doing right now?? think about it.

 

[sandorski]

This sounds like one of them situations seen in movies(Casablanca for eg). Just ride off into the sunset looking forward to what life has to offer.

 

[troglodytis]

sounds like someone is in love with thier sister-in-law.

get off the fence. if she is married...you got to stop. let her decided if she wants out of the marrige w/o your enfluence(it may be too late for that). if she is not married...GO FOR IT!

kids are the sticky part. if she's married with kids, yikes. if the husband sucks ass then it does the kids no favor for her to keep them there. on the other hand, if she loves you and her husband, you need to back to fvck off.

watch your 6.