What causes an individual to become a loner?

[matt426malm]

Two ways to become a loner either you distance your self from others or they distance themselves from you (timid loner and jackass loner). I'm the first. I like peace and quiet, reading. I don't think there would be many that I would actually get along with, but then again I don't often make the effort. I have a couple of friends from work and the storm chase club at school.

With me it's insecurity, inconfidence, quiet (sometimes gives the impression of being stuck up I guess, but that's not my intention). Another part of it is being badly burned from before about sophmore year, just picked on to no end. Coke Bottle glasses, overweight and being a pincusion overall, warented and not.

I'm not that person anymore contacts and after Junior year I became one of the best runners on my cross country team and made a few friends there, I had my small little clique and that was fine with me. I never really "learned" how to make friends I guess, not really an excuse but that's probably part of it.

I did the exact thing you did left my old friends for the most part, I still see them at the cc functions but that's about it. I'm going to college out of state so I don't go home that often. For the most part I didn't really "go out and make friends" first semster. I get the impression that most everyone else did and formed their own groups and I don't really belong to any of them. I worried that if I actually try to become good friends with anyone they'd realize that they're my only friend, would seem pathetic not that it isn't.

At time I enjoy my lifestyle, I can keep my grades up, have a job, I rather get into grad-school then be partying all the time. I don't do that bad with dating so I'm not completely useless.

If you don't like being a loner, you should probably do something about it, it's only going to get harder. I'm fine with it but it does have it's drawbacks. I'm definetly not going to be the idiot that says, I don't need anyone, people are sheep, everyone but me is a shallow moron (that is what I would classify as the jackass loner, people distance themselves from him, he's only kidding himself).

I'm not always this depressed, right now it's the weather, it's been gray and snowing all day.

 

[DWW]

Some people just don't get off on being social. I know people who can't stand to be alone for a day or not call someone on the phone and I'd hate to be that dependent on people.

Every Friday and Saturday nights I go drinking with the same friends since high school but its not really changed. I don't feel some "need" to go do something like hang out at the mall or wander in the city and crpa like that really. I don't see it as something bad either.

One friend of mine told me I have severe social anxiety because I'd avoid places with a lot of people. There was a point I didn't socialize for around six months. Thats the exact opposite though. It isn't anti-social even its just plain social ineptness. I don't -care- to have a million conversations filling up a room. I don't -care- to listen to other people tell me whats wrong in their life or how their kids have straight As at school and who is screwing who at the office.

 

[DWW]

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: matt426malm
Two ways to become a loner either you distance your self from others or they distance themselves from you (timid loner and jackass loner). I'm the first. I like peace and quiet, reading. I don't think there would be many that I would actually get along with, but then again I don't often make the effort. I have a couple of friends from work and the storm chase club at school.

With me it's insecurity, inconfidence, quiet (sometimes gives the impression of being stuck up I guess, but that's not my intention). Another part of it is being badly burned from before about sophmore year, just picked on to no end. Coke Bottle glasses, overweight and being a pincusion overall, warented and not.

I'm not that person anymore contacts and after Junior year I became one of the best runners on my cross country team and made a few friends there, I had my small little clique and that was fine with me. I never really "learned" how to make friends I guess, not really an excuse but that's probably part of it.

I did the exact thing you did left my old friends for the most part, I still see them at the cc functions but that's about it. I'm going to college out of state so I don't go home that often. For the most part I didn't really "go out and make friends" first semster. I get the impression that most everyone else did and formed their own groups and I don't really belong to any of them. I worried that if I actually try to become good friends with anyone they'd realize that they're my only friend, would seem pathetic not that it isn't.

At time I enjoy my lifestyle, I can keep my grades up, have a job, I rather get into grad-school then be partying all the time. I don't do that bad with dating so I'm not completely useless.

If you don't like being a loner, you should probably do something about it, it's only going to get harder. I'm fine with it but it does have it's drawbacks. I'm definetly not going to be the idiot that says, I don't need anyone, people are sheep, everyone but me is a shallow moron (that is what I would classify as the jackass loner, people distance themselves from him).

I'm not always this depressed, right now it's the weather, it's been gray and snowing all day.

good post.

 

[skim milk]

Originally posted by: matt426malm
Two ways to become a loner either you distance your self from others or they distance themselves from you (timid loner and jackass loner). I'm the first. I like peace and quiet, reading. I don't think there would be many that I would actually get along with, but then again I don't often make the effort. I have a couple of friends from work and the storm chase club at school.

With me it's insecurity, inconfidence, quiet (sometimes gives the impression of being stuck up I guess, but that's not my intention). Another part of it is being badly burned from before about sophmore year, just picked on to no end. Coke Bottle glasses, overweight and being a pincusion overall, warented and not.

I'm not that person anymore contacts and after Junior year I became one of the best runners on my cross country team and made a few friends there, I had my small little clique and that was fine with me. I never really "learned" how to make friends I guess, not really an excuse but that's probably part of it.

I did the exact thing you did left my old friends for the most part, I still see them at the cc functions but that's about it. I'm going to college out of state so I don't go home that often. For the most part I didn't really "go out and make friends" first semster. I get the impression that most everyone else did and formed their own groups and I don't really belong to any of them. I worried that if I actually try to become good friends with anyone they'd realize that they're my only friend, would seem pathetic not that it isn't.

At time I enjoy my lifestyle, I can keep my grades up, have a job, I rather get into grad-school then be partying all the time. I don't do that bad with dating so I'm not completely useless.

If you don't like being a loner, you should probably do something about it, it's only going to get harder. I'm fine with it but it does have it's drawbacks. I'm definetly not going to be the idiot that says, I don't need anyone, people are sheep, everyone but me is a shallow moron (that is what I would classify as the jackass loner, people distance themselves from him).

I'm not always this depressed, right now it's the weather, it's been gray and snowing all day.

pretty much the same story here.. I don't make the effort... (even though I should), people do get the impression of me being stuck up, and I never really learned how to make friends... it all came so easily and naturally when I was younger.


I don't mind being a loner but at times I feel like I should be going out and learning social skills, learning how to talk to girls and learning how to deal with people instead of being trapped in a shell my whole life.

 

[T2T III]

After living a quiet life while in high school and most of the time I was in the military, I broke out of my shell. I now love being around people - to the point that it can hurt productivity when I'm working. I get into deep conversations with them and enjoy being around them.

Just because you are a quiet individual now, doesn't mean that you need to stay that way for the rest of your life. As the others suggested, make some of the first moves and invite others to hang out. I'm sure you'll do fine.

 

[dethman]

getting dumped by your girlfriend of 5 years after you gave up all your friends to be with her. that'll do it.

 

[Tetsuo]

Linux

 

[Ogg]

Computers, internet, message boards, porn, wait......

 

[acemcmac]

Fast cars, fine cigars, tuner PC's and a 75 hour work/class week will make your friends whoever's around when you down your last shot of JD for the night...

I have friends... its just that most of them are on voice chat :beer:

College is teh suckage. It's me and the twins all the way... the Samsung 955DF's I mean :beer::beer::beer:

 

[skim milk]

Originally posted by: acemcmac
Fast cars, fine cigars, tuner PC's and a 75 hour work/class week will make your friends whoever's around when you down your last shot of JD for the night...

I have friends... its just that most of them are on voice chat :beer:

College is teh suckage. It's me and the twins all the way... the Samsung 955DF's I mean :beer::beer::beer:

lol hahhaha :beer:

 

[Willoughbyva]

Have you ever taken a personality test? http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

I wonder about myself sometimes. After taking the test I can see how I fit the description (INFP) and why I am kind of different than most people. There is only like 1.14% of the population that are of my personality type. Also after reading a bunch of descriptions of this personality type I have discovered ways to be more comfortable or things to do that might fit my personality (some sites have lists). Still I kind of take it with a grain of salt because I think a persons personality can change over time and with life conditions/situations. Still I thought it was interesting.

 

[UncleWai]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Have you ever taken a personality test? http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

I wonder about myself sometimes. After taking the test I can see how I fit the description (INFP) and why I am kind of different than most people. There is only like 1.14% of the population that are of my personality type. Also after reading a bunch of descriptions of this personality type I have discovered ways to be more comfortable or things to do that might fit my personality (some sites have lists). Still I kind of take it with a grain of salt because I think a persons personality can change over time and with life conditions/situations. Still I thought it was interesting.

I just did the test, INFP for me.

:beer: to my comrade!

 

[Siddhartha]

Join campus clubs of activities that interests you and has a good percentage of of the opposite sex, for example sailing. Go to the meetings and be open and friendly. You will meet people from the clubs and you will be invited to parties where you will meet other people.

 

[UncleWai]

i was reading about INFP.

Famous INFPs:
Helen Keller, deaf and blind author

I guess she didn't have a choice.

 

[db]

Go to places you like and do things you like, both of which are social or where other people are involved.
These things and places which you like are something you have in common with the other people who are there, so there's a better chance of you having successful interactions.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Yeah there are some good things about INFP, just like there are probably good things about every personality type (I would assume).

Here is one I like.

And here is another one.

And another one.