What bothers you more?

[Jimmah]

From reading the cool sun facts thread (which was very interesting, I saved it) and CPA's note about his own mortality, I'm curious how other people feel about their lives.

Personally, I'm not really scared/loathing my own death, I understand its whats going to happen and I may not like it but its going to happen no matter what I do. What bothers me is other people's mortality. You can somewhat control your own existence (somewhat, mostly just what you do with it) but you have no control over other people's, and things you wish you could have done with them you don't have the opportunity to do anymore, which makes me the most sad, along with the memories and past emotions.


I'm very intrigued by this subject, would be nice to hear more about how others feel.

 

[Amused]

Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

 

[Jimmah]

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

Hey I'm 26, and no I don't have any children, and I've been resuscitated (sic?) from drowning once (which was interesting) when I was younger (prompted me learning how to swim). Saying one is not old enough is not a fair judgment on ones ability to gauge their own mortality.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Jimmah

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

Hey I'm 26, (snip) Saying one is not old enough is not a fair judgment on ones ability to gauge their own mortality.

Um, wrong. And what is so funny is that you're proof of it.

Instead of just disagreeing with me, maybe you should have asked my why I know this, and what experience I have with it.

 

[DefDC]

Probably others... In my early twenties, in college, I was searching for a religion, and decided on "None-of-the-above". Finally settled on a more science-based "religion" and all dread of dying faded away. Search for DEFDC here if you care...

Now that I'm 35, and just lost my Grandma, I can't stand to see others go. Thoughts that something might happen to my wife or daughter make me nuts.

 

[Farang]

I'm 21 and I agree older folks probably have a better grasp of this but anyone who has come close to death or been around death has a good understanding of their own mortality. Age isn't the only determining factor, for example an young combat veteran probably knows a hell of a lot more about this subject than a 50 year-old software engineer who has done nothing but work in front of a desk his whole life.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

 

[Cstefan]

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

Yea no kidding. I turn 33 on Tuesday and about two years ago sitting on the john I had the "realization" and it does indeed change you.

 

[BeauJangles]

I'm 23 and a selfish bastard -- I worry about myself dying most.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

same. i know with my health i have better odds of dieing early then my wife/kids. it scares me to think think of htem dieing.

also early this year my dad had apretty bad heart attack. it hit me then that he is getting old (he is 64) and coul ddie anytime. didnt help that my mom died in December.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

Just wait... It's coming.

As Cstefan just pointed out better than I could, it hits you suddenly. Usually right at the moment in life you realize the years seem to be slipping by so much faster. Not just a little faster, but whizzing by so fast you honestly can't seem to remember where the time went.

Usually hits mid 30s or so. Earlier for some, later for others.

It has nothing to do with being selfish. It's just the realization that your life is flying by much faster than you ever could grasp in your youth.

And like most things, the young will think they know everything and disagree with you... until it hits them. Sadly, you can try and try to explain it, but they will have no idea what you're talking about until it happenes to them.

 

[Jimmah]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Jimmah

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

Hey I'm 26, (snip) Saying one is not old enough is not a fair judgment on ones ability to gauge their own mortality.

Um, wrong. And what is so funny is that you're proof of it.

Instead of just disagreeing with me, maybe you should have asked my why I know this, and what experience I have with it.

I didn't start this thread to create flamebait, or for someone to come in and denounce my grasp on my own thoughts and feeling. How dare you think your experiences or age give you the right to be the judge of others.

Perhaps you could mention what experiences you have, or why you 'know better', instead of being a jerk.

My experiences, such as losing my uncle a week ago, losing my grandmother, another uncle, giving cpr to my dog (after I had fallen on him crushing his ribcage), almost dying myself, and so on, I think give me a half-decent view on my own life. Age != experience.

 

[pstylesss]

I'm not scared of losing my life... I am scared of losing people close to me.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

Just wait... It's coming.

As Cstefan just pointed out better than I could, it hits you suddenly. Usually right at the moment in life you realize the years seem to be slipping by so much faster. Not just a little faster, but whizzing by so fast you honestly can't seem to remember where the time went.

Usually hits mid 30s or so. Earlier for some, later for others.

It has nothing to do with being selfish. It's just the realization that your life is flying by much faster than you ever could grasp in your youth.

You aren't married or have kids. I honestly don't remember the last 6 months of my life because of my daughter. Everything has been a blur.

You don't have somebody else to worry about but yourself. Before she came along all I did was worry about how my body was slowly wearing down...nagging injuries, gray hair, hair growing in places it never did, ect. I don't really worry about that any more.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Jimmah

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Jimmah

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

Hey I'm 26, (snip) Saying one is not old enough is not a fair judgment on ones ability to gauge their own mortality.

Um, wrong. And what is so funny is that you're proof of it.

Instead of just disagreeing with me, maybe you should have asked my why I know this, and what experience I have with it.

I didn't start this thread to create flamebait, or for someone to come in and denounce my grasp on my own thoughts and feeling. How dare you think your experiences or age give you the right to be the judge of others.

Perhaps you could mention what experiences you have, or why you 'know better', instead of being a jerk.

My experiences, such as losing my uncle a week ago, losing my grandmother, another uncle, giving cpr to my dog (after I had fallen on him crushing his ribcage), almost dying myself, and so on, I think give me a half-decent view on my own life. Age != experience.

If only you realized what a fool you sound like.

The arrogance of youth is quickly beaten down by the passing years as one realizes what they knew was so little, and what they know now they wish they knew then. One of those is to listen to your elders on matters like this rather than disagreeing with them out of hand.

Let me give you a little background. I'm 41. I lost my father and grandparents in my teens. I spent most of my teens as a hardcore freebase addict and many of the people I associated with during that time died. I'm a veteran. I have no children.

Even after all that, I never fully grasped my own mortality until my sense of time changed in my 30s. And you won't either. Sorry you think you know everything, but you don't know jack, and apparently won't until it happenes to you.

 

[nakedfrog]

Other people's mortality. I'm worried some people won't die as soon as they should.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

Just wait... It's coming.

As Cstefan just pointed out better than I could, it hits you suddenly. Usually right at the moment in life you realize the years seem to be slipping by so much faster. Not just a little faster, but whizzing by so fast you honestly can't seem to remember where the time went.

Usually hits mid 30s or so. Earlier for some, later for others.

It has nothing to do with being selfish. It's just the realization that your life is flying by much faster than you ever could grasp in your youth.

You aren't married or have kids. I honestly don't remember the last 6 months of my life because of my daughter. Everything has been a blur.

You don't have somebody else to worry about but yourself. Before she came along all I did was worry about how my body was slowly wearing down...nagging injuries, gray hair, hair growing in places it never did, ect. I don't really worry about that any more.

I know you think this way now, but they don't call it a "midlife crisis" for nothing.

Like I said, give it time. It'll hit you like a thunderbolt. Probably later for you because you've got young kids. I'd say yours will hit late 30s-early 40s.

I guess it is true that you cannot explain this to people. They just have to experience it.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

Just wait... It's coming.

As Cstefan just pointed out better than I could, it hits you suddenly. Usually right at the moment in life you realize the years seem to be slipping by so much faster. Not just a little faster, but whizzing by so fast you honestly can't seem to remember where the time went.

Usually hits mid 30s or so. Earlier for some, later for others.

It has nothing to do with being selfish. It's just the realization that your life is flying by much faster than you ever could grasp in your youth.

You aren't married or have kids. I honestly don't remember the last 6 months of my life because of my daughter. Everything has been a blur.

You don't have somebody else to worry about but yourself. Before she came along all I did was worry about how my body was slowly wearing down...nagging injuries, gray hair, hair growing in places it never did, ect. I don't really worry about that any more.

I know you think this way now, but they don't call it a "midlife crisis" for nothing.

Like I said, give it time. It'll hit you like a thunderbolt. Probably later for you because you've got young kids. I'd say yours will hit late 30s-early 40s.

I guess it is true that you cannot explain this to people. They just have to experience it.

Meh. Go talk to somebody that's 50 or 60(and older) and they read the obituaries each day to see how many friends/aquaintences around their age that died that week. Tell me that isn't sobering.

 

[coremortality]

I'm 26 and grew up in an environment that constantly reminded me of my own mortality.

When I was 8 my youngest sister (only 18 months old) was diagnosed with leukemia. She made it through it but it took 8+ years for the doctors to say she was cured and in that time there were at least 3 major incidents where we thought there was no way she would make it.

In addition to that, all of my grandparents died before I was 20 and 4 very close family friends. Death frightens me like nothing else on Earth. IMO, it really affects who you are as a person. It?s kind of funny how many friends I made after turn 18 and entering the work force, all seemed to make the same general comments about my personality. Mainly that I was the ?oldest young guy? they had ever met. But who knows.

Sure I'm terrified of my own mortality. It's the only certainty in life and yet how or when is never ever finite. But I think losing family may be harder. I want to live as long as possible but if I live to 100+ and everyone I love dies before I'm 90?well you get the idea.

I think it maybe harder to see others die simply because it?s a reminder that we ourselves will eventually meet the same fate though we don?t know when or how.

Edited for grammar and spelling.

 

[KeithTalent]

I never think about my own death, aside from how sad my Mom will be when it happens (she'll be a disaster). Death is just one of those things, it will happen when it happens and there is little I can do about it.

I do occasionally think of how I will feel if/when certain people around me die, but I never dwell upon it.

Funny you should pose this question today as I was at the hospital last night visiting a friend recovering from leukemia. You would think think that would cause me to contemplate my own mortality, but it didn't, not even for a second. Maybe I'm strange.

KT

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

Just wait... It's coming.

As Cstefan just pointed out better than I could, it hits you suddenly. Usually right at the moment in life you realize the years seem to be slipping by so much faster. Not just a little faster, but whizzing by so fast you honestly can't seem to remember where the time went.

Usually hits mid 30s or so. Earlier for some, later for others.

It has nothing to do with being selfish. It's just the realization that your life is flying by much faster than you ever could grasp in your youth.

You aren't married or have kids. I honestly don't remember the last 6 months of my life because of my daughter. Everything has been a blur.

You don't have somebody else to worry about but yourself. Before she came along all I did was worry about how my body was slowly wearing down...nagging injuries, gray hair, hair growing in places it never did, ect. I don't really worry about that any more.

I know you think this way now, but they don't call it a "midlife crisis" for nothing.

Like I said, give it time. It'll hit you like a thunderbolt. Probably later for you because you've got young kids. I'd say yours will hit late 30s-early 40s.

I guess it is true that you cannot explain this to people. They just have to experience it.

Meh. Go talk to somebody that's 50 or 60(and older) and they read the obituaries each day to see how many friends/aquaintences around their age that died that week. Tell me that isn't sobering.

Yep, but that's just a continuation of what starts in your 30 or 40s when it hits you all at once. When that perception of time changes and you realize a few things. It's not a slow realization, but a sudden thunderbolt that causes intense panic in many people.

Read this short story by Steven King:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Pretty_Pony

It's what he wrote when this realization hit him at 41, and is the best telling of how it feels and how the sense of time changes. I read it in my early twenties and even so, I still coudn't understand it until it happened to me... so I'm probably wasting my time here.

 

[iRONic]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Amused
Wait until you hit your thirties or forties to honestly answer this question.

I'm 30 and I far more fear the health and livelyhood of my wife, daughter and parents than my own self.

As a 49 year old man who's stared death in the eye twice I cannot agree with you more. My children's mortality is what I think of more than my own, then the rest of my immediate family's.

I've done/seen/been so much in my short lifetime that death doesn't make me quiver in fear.

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: Amused


If only you realized what a fool you sound like.

The arrogance of youth is quickly beaten down by the passing years as one realizes what they knew was so little, and what they know now they wish they knew then. One of those is to listen to your elders on matters like this rather than disagreeing with them out of hand.

Let me give you a little background. I'm 41. I lost my father and grandparents in my teens. I spent most of my teens as a hardcore freebase addict and many of the people I associated with during that time died. I'm a veteran. I have no children.

Even after all that, I never fully grasped my own mortality until my sense of time changed in my 30s. And you won't either. Sorry you think you know everything, but you don't know jack, and apparently won't until it happenes to you.

I don't know why you feel it necessary to be an ass about this.

 

[CPA]

Great topic OP, now I have to go to the bathroom and hurl.

 

[GeekDrew]

I'm 23. The mortality of a just a couple of other people bothers me tremendously, but mainly for selfish reasons... I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have them in my life any more (and I do hope that their life isn't cut tragically short for some reason, for their benefit). There have been quite a few people I've loved over the years that have died, and it hurts like hell for a long time, and the pain never really seems to go away.