What am i to do with my life

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: moks78

Originally posted by: biff 24 2000
military?

Yup, save this country fm the terrorists...something you'll be proud of when you're old and retired.

if you make it to old and retired

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: jacktackle
Hate to get emo here but all joking aside, i do consider suicide an option if i can't find anything I'm interested in doing with my life. I really don't see my life going anywhere. I'm lucky to have such a great family though, they will keep me from going off the deep end, they have so far. Plus ending my own life would really devastate them (even though i wouldn't see it as a big loss), i can't do that to them. Kinda sad i consider suicide an option i know, it's been on my mind for a long time now. I'm just a young smart guy. I'm not goth or anything like that. I really shouldn't have suicide as an option (albeit an unlikely option), but, like i said, i can't see anything good come of my life. I'm in a good mood when posting this by the way, so it's not the 'just having a bad day' talk. Don't get worried there (not like anyone would) i'm not saying i'm suicidal or anything.

Sounds kind of like my reasoning too. It's always just sort of been one of those final option kinds of things, but I've never made any attempts. I guess it has to do with lack of confidence, and the fact that I hate the thought of anything painful. Gun, knife - no way. I hate noise and sharp things. Poison? No thank you. So while I understand that rendering a person dead is really quite a simplistic thing, it's not for everyone.
And yes, there's the fact that the few people I do have in my life (my family) would be horribly upset by suicide. If there was just a good quick way to say, "Get over it!" then I'd go that route, but there isn't. Social bonds are just too strong it seems.

This stuff all sounds like a depression. That can just rob you of any motivation to do anything. I wish I could remember where it was, I saw a quote recently about depression. It's not just feeling sad, it's a state where you are unable to envision a time when you could ever experience joy again. You're just stuck there. You don't seek help for it because it seems utterly futile because you know there's no hope for you. You don't seek it for fear of embarassment, or for fear that no one will understand it, and with Sampson's arrogant reply as evidence, it is true that some people just have no concept of this mindset, and so have nothing to compare it to. So they just would wind up making the problem worse.
Talking about suicidal feelings can be similar. I imagine that a fair number of people never seriously consider suidice any time in their lives. They are trained that it's a bad thing and that no one should do it, so it never even crosses their minds as something to even ponder. To them, the fact that someone seriously considers it an option is just alien, and that can make them get quite emotional about it. It's like someone telling you that they are in fact capable of turning common objects into gold, but only when alone. It just sounds so absurd to you that you will ridicule them for being crazy, only thoughts of suicide aren't fantasy. But the reaction can be similar.

I wish I could provide good direction for what to do. I'm going to college mainly because the thought of working my life at Walmart was starting to push me more to consider the suicide option. It just was a sad place, full of people with shattered dreams. Very depressing, very crappy work, customers belittle you.....just not something I wanted to live with. College provided a way out. And yes, it was scary, terrifying in fact. Leaving home, travelling far away, being with new people, it was just nearly paralyzing fear. But I had seen the alternative. I've now finished 1 year, and I'm going back for a second. I can't say it's "fun", but then I can't say that about much of anything either. I don't "have fun" really.
College is something I do because I hope that it will keep me out of the bottom levels of society, and enable me to live by myself, without having to constantly worry about having enough money. That's part of why I chose engineering. In part, because I'm just good at fixing mechanical things and working with machines. And in part because engineers can make quite a good amount of money.

So I've hung a carrot for myself at the end of college, and I'm heading toward that. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be rotten, and I find myself there at the end, graduated, still with no sense of direction, or with no motivation. But at least I'll have given it a try.

Dude, youre my hero

Seriously, ATOT lacks people like this, who can think "out of the box"... The problem with so many haters and flamers here is they dont

Every time someone different (OMG, can people actually be DIFFERENT ?) talks seriously about their lives, be it depression or the likes, gets the typical "crawling in my skin, myspace, stfu and get a job" replies, which shows just how narrow minded you are...

If you had EVER been there, you wouldnt said what you do now... you THINK you know what hes going through, but you have NO IDEA, period.

Because if you DID have an idea, you would be able to understand him just like Jeff7 did

Also I want to comment this line

You have one thing right, you're young, but so incredibly far from smart it's not even funny.

Did you ever notice that the smartest/most inteligent people have a tendency to think too much? What is the cause of most depressions really? ....

Because you think too much about everything, and the way our brain works, you end up thinking about bad things 90% of the time, thus getting into depression... If you had a clue of what he was talking about, you could tell he's very inteligent just by reading the first post


Regarding the OP... I dont really have any advice anyone hasnt given you... did you try getting a girl? that helps a TON... (at least it worked for me)

But I dont mean just someone to screw with, I mean someone that really means something to you, that makes you want to live for her, thats the strongest motivation IMO... That way you will want to finish school to get a job to be able to afford a house for both, etc etc...

I will end my post with a quote from Einstein

"The only life worth living is a life lived for others"

 

[fustercluck]

Thanks Jeff7 and Shadow, help make this thread worthwhile, real good replies. I don't feel like this is the kinda stuff i can talk with my family about, even though they would do everything to help. It's just a hard thing to explain. I don't know any doctors i like or can trust either. Thus, ATOT - Been a good resource for everything so far, so why not. Getting the opinions of other random folks does help. Yes there are some a-holes around here, but there are a-holes everywhere in life. It's easy to ignore them.

I am definitely depressed, and need to get back on meds again, even though they always make me drowsy all day and give me sharp headaches every once in a while. I think that will definitely help, obviously i can't motivate myself to do anything in my current state of mind. I still don't consider myself suicidal at all, but i don't think i explained it very well earlier. I just kinda think of it as the extreme last resort, guess most people would really, heh. I've got into deep depressions though in the recent months where suicide didn't seem like such an extreme choice, which is another big reason i need to get on medication again (though I still wonder if it's the medications that got me into this mental state in the first place).

I paid with for my entire computer, monitor, headphones, amp, with my own money. Didn't buy my whole computer at once, just built it little by little over a period of time. I do work for a small family owned business in the Winters. Invoices, packing, shipping, labeling, face to face selling, do a lot of different little jobs for the business, anything i can help out a little. Though It's only like a couple of days of doing any work per week, and like i said, only in the winter. So it's kinda hard to say I've had a real job. Been helping out with it for about 4 years. That's how I've saved up my cash to buy some of this nice stuff i had now. They give me $10 an hour when i work, which is generous of them. That equals out to about $40 a week when I'm working. I generate more than that for sure, so i'm just taking a smaller cut. And we are far from rich, but can live comfortably. There's no doubt I've been leeching off the parents though, which is why I've been so anxious to try and get a job. Of course though, i don't want a job I'm going to hate. I don't even want a job at all obviously. Hopefully anti-depressants will help out with that, and with my whole life in general. This depression has really bogged me down from doing anything. I've been on anti-depressants before though for a long time and still didn't really have any motivation to do anything *shrug*. I hope things start looking up really soon, because this sucks - I want to do something differently with my life, i don't want to do what i'm doing now, which is nothing.

 

[duragezic]

Sampson has it right.

Your parents need to quit supporting you. That would give you a kick in the ass real quick and make you face reality. That's seriously pathetic. 4 hours a week working? You gotta be fvcking kidding me. Im about your age and I would kill for a life to not have to do jack sh*t all day yet have money to buy stuff that I want (your computer is about the same as mine, yet I work 40 hours a week at $14.5/hr). When you are busy in school, and/or work, you don't have time to worry about all this stupid pointless sh*t like you are. Moping around thinking nothing is gonna get better means nothing will get better for your lazy, stupid ass. You're so smart and intelligent? Anyone with half a brain would realize things dont happen unless you make an effort to make them happen.

Can't you simply foresee that doing nothing about this except posting whiny threads on OT isnt going to change a gd thing? There's no excuse for this. It sounds like your parents would support and help you with whatever decision you want to make. Move away and go to college, join the military, move out and get a full-time job. You'd be surprised the path of good things that can happen by trying to change something with your life. You need to do something about it.. ACTION.. not emo posts on OT.

 

[WildHorse]

What Should I Do with My Life? (Hardcover) by Po Bronson

ISBN: 0375507493