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Went insane today...

I

idNut

Diamond Member
I was sitting in tenth period today and I just totally lost it. I blacked out and when I came back into reality I started clenching my fists, I had intense anxiety, lost all hope of anything and just wanted to jump out the window. I think school is affecting my life too dramatically and I don't know what to do about it. I hate being there and every little thing drives me off the deep end. I haven't slept for a while because of the insomnia, I can't focus on homework, and I am completely numb from everything. I don't know what the fvck is wrong anymore. I hate math, chemistry, social studies, art, and even my computer applications class.

I think I'm becoming a complete recluse, school is the only place I go during the week and one day at work which I also hate. It's a pretty cool job so says my "friends" since it's detailing cars and I can work at my own pace but I'd rather be at home doing nothing. I just don't care about anything anymore, my future, family, friends, or existence. I don't see anything getting better.
 
Originally posted by: idNut
I was sitting in tenth period today and I just totally lost it. I blacked out and when I came back into reality I started clenching my fists, I had intense anxiety, lost all hope of anything and just wanted to jump out the window. I think school is affecting my life too dramatically and I don't know what to do about it. I hate being there and every little thing drives me off the deep end. I haven't slept for a while because of the insomnia, I can't focus on homework, and I am completely numb from everything. I don't know what the fvck is wrong anymore. I hate math, chemistry, social studies, art, and even my computer applications class.

I think I'm becoming a complete recluse, school is the only place I go during the week and one day at work which I also hate. It's a pretty cool job so says my "friends" since it's detailing cars and I can work at my own pace but I'd rather be at home doing nothing. I just don't care about anything anymore, my future, family, friends, or existence. I don't see anything getting better.
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When I grow up, I want to be a bum.

 
I'm in High School and that is how I feel, I feel caged with High School.

It's not laziness because God knows I do things for people all the time but I just don't like being away from my house.
 
Originally posted by: idNut
I'm in High School and that is how I feel, I feel caged with High School. It's not laziness because God knows I do things for people all the time but I just don't like being away from my house.
Click to expand...

It's just a control issue - you want to be able to do what you want to do and you you want to do it now. Don't worry, everyone goes throught it, you just need to find a purpose in life.
 
wow....and the @ssholes come out of the woodwork.
rolleye.gif


In all seriousness man, it sounds like you should seek professional help. I know that it may seem like it will only make the situation worse, but it's the first step towards actually feeling better. That or an incredible ammount of self control are the best ways to handle how you're feeling IMO. We all have our bad days, but if they start to string together and become a health problem, you should get help before it gets worse.
 
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
 

tenth period? Just how long are your classes anyway? 🙂

If my memory serves me, this isn't your first post of this nature. You sound like you're pretty close to the edge; I think you really need to seek some professional help to get through this rough spot. This too shall pass.
 
you should talk to someone about it, trust me, it will be a little weird at first, but once it is out you will start to feel better. You could go to your doctor, and talk to him/her, and perhaps give meds a try if you think that is the right thing for you.
 
Originally posted by: Gulzakar
seeing as how you said Social Studies, I'm gonna guess Highschool?
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thats what i would think.

idnut - don't sweat it. there's absolutely no reason for you to beat yourself up over how your life is in high school. once you realize that there's more to life than school, it all gets easier. i suggest you talk to a counselor or psychologist about how you feel, perhaps they can help you to deal with whats going on. also, you might want to see a doctor for some advice about your insomnia.

when i was younger, i used to get extremely frustrated about school, because everyone wanted/forced me to try my hardest, spend all my time on school, etc. the toughest thing was that people made me feel like a failure if i didnt get all A's. later in high school, though, i talked with some teachers (some just out of college) that helped me realize that not doing better than everyone else in high school didn't fvck me over for life.

if you dont like your job, quit it. you dont have to do what your friends say, because you aren't them.

good luck

EDIT: just remember, after high school, life only gets better. people try and make you believe that how you do in high school predetermines how you do in life but that is complete and utter bullshit.
 
Originally posted by: rbloedow
Originally posted by: idNut
I'm in High School and that is how I feel, I feel caged with High School. It's not laziness because God knows I do things for people all the time but I just don't like being away from my house.
Click to expand...

It's just a control issue - you want to be able to do what you want to do and you you want to do it now. Don't worry, everyone goes throught it, you just need to find a purpose in life.
Click to expand...

That's true. I have been dying to sit down and read some of my books, watch the mass collection of movies I have, draw, write but school totally interfers with being myself. What did Mark Twain say? Something like school interfers with education? I've learned so much on my own but I can't pull myself to drop out and get my G.E.D.

I really think I'm going insane, it may not sound like it in my words but everyday I become more and more detached from reality and psychosis is taking over.
 
Originally posted by: idNut
Originally posted by: rbloedow
Originally posted by: idNut
I'm in High School and that is how I feel, I feel caged with High School. It's not laziness because God knows I do things for people all the time but I just don't like being away from my house.
Click to expand...

It's just a control issue - you want to be able to do what you want to do and you you want to do it now. Don't worry, everyone goes throught it, you just need to find a purpose in life.
Click to expand...

That's true. I have been dying to sit down and read some of my books, watch the mass collection of movies I have, draw, write but school totally interfers with being myself. What did Mark Twain say? Something like school interfers with education? I've learned so much on my own but I can't pull myself to drop out and get my G.E.D.

I really think I'm going insane, it may not sound like it in my words but everyday I become more and more detached from reality and psychosis is taking over.
Click to expand...


I never let school interfere with my education -- Mark Twain

 
I just don't care about anything anymore, my future, family, friends, or existence. I don't see anything getting better.
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I guess you need to find a good motivation to complete your most important tasks. There are things that don't matter to one's life, yet an average person spends 80% of his time doing that useless stuff (the 80/20 rule, IIRC). Yet all the things one really should do can be accomplished during only 20% of one's time. Maybe you should skip some things that irritate you, maybe that's not really necessary.
 
Yep, time for the head shrinkers, and there's no shame in needing one, our society has become increasingly complex & demanding, sometimes you just need a tweak or 2 to fit in better.

The fact that you can talk a little about it is a very good sign.

"I don't like Mondays"
 
Originally posted by: idNut
I was sitting in tenth period today and I just totally lost it. I blacked out and when I came back into reality I started clenching my fists, I had intense anxiety, lost all hope of anything and just wanted to jump out the window. I think school is affecting my life too dramatically and I don't know what to do about it. I hate being there and every little thing drives me off the deep end. I haven't slept for a while because of the insomnia, I can't focus on homework, and I am completely numb from everything. I don't know what the fvck is wrong anymore. I hate math, chemistry, social studies, art, and even my computer applications class.

I think I'm becoming a complete recluse, school is the only place I go during the week and one day at work which I also hate. It's a pretty cool job so says my "friends" since it's detailing cars and I can work at my own pace but I'd rather be at home doing nothing. I just don't care about anything anymore, my future, family, friends, or existence. I don't see anything getting better.
Click to expand...

Here's an idea... let's pretend that you're a normal human being, not one a "cynic", not a "tortured soul" or any of that other crap that you kids come up with these days to latch onto as an excuse.... christ, you've had everything positioned to be handed to you, and you just shrug and say "oh well", and then bitch when things don't go your own way.,..

Grow up, and quit developing a designer condition to justify your apathy... nobody cares anyways right?
 
Everything flows in harmony
Yin and Yang
To Salvation- a mediatior between Heaven and Earth
The Path to Tao is one of non-action
To accept and not to question
Live in Tranquility with all.
 
It amazes me how people make fun of a kid who blacked out in class from what sounds like a panic attack. My mother and one of my best friends have both gone through all sorts of anxiety problems, and have had that happen. I'd walk into my mom's room when I was in middle school to find my mom screaming and crying uncontrollably, throwing things on the floor and pulling her hair. My friend on the other hand, fell down the stairs when he blacked out at school, and drove his car off the road a couple times from panic attacks.

Yeah, it's pretty fvckin funny, you assholes. :disgust:

Anyway, idNut, I'd suggest try to find a hobby, anything that you like to do, hang out with as many people as possible, and when all else fails, see a doctor.
 
Everytime you feel stressed, just say "Serenity now!" Oh wait, Seinfeld flashback.

Seriously, just ease back and relax. Don't sweat all the small stuff and just take a step back and look at the big picture. If you are still stressing, go see somebody and talk it out. I wouldn't suggest any psychiatric drugs but find something to vent your frustrations into. (Football was highly theraputic during my high school years...where else can you legally knock the crap out of someone?)
 
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