- Dec 26, 2004
- 11,905
- 148
- 101
Let me set the stage for you. It is approximately 3:35AM, I am in my boxers as asleep as could be. It is -6 degrees outside. It is snowing/freezing rain outside.
In a dreary, still-asleep like state... I hear this constant, loud, annoying noise. I was having some dream about killer bee's chasing me, and the noise they made when they were in a pack of thousands was very intense and loud. Come to find out when I am now half-awake, that my buildings fire alarm is going off. "You have got to be fucking kidding me.... it's 3:38AM, I have a final tomorrow." After a few minutes of deciding if I want to take my chances in laying there, I decide against it. I am awake for the most part and functioning now.
I hop out of bed to look through the peep-hole of my door. Sure enough, this is no joke. Kids are scrambling all over the place outside my door. "Shit." I throw on some sweatpants, grab my jacket (Note: This jacket has no hood) and slip on some shoes. I notice that somehow, my roommate who we'll call Joe, is still passed out. The way he is sleeping is that he is facing away from me... facing towards the wall. So I go over to his bed and whisper "Joe.. Joe? JOE!" I get the beautiful answer of him rolling over very fast, with his arm following. Let's just say I felt it in the side of my head. Following his nice Jackie Chan style move, Joe finishes with "Are you fucking serious? Sorry about your head." Off to a wonderful start.
So Joe and I start heading downstairs with the hundreds of other students flocking for the main doors. Little did I know it was snowing, freezing rain, and well below freezing. I step outside the doors, and god dammit... I hear it. I hear the fire sirens going off downtown. Great, this will be a blast.
After standing in the freezing cold, windy, snowy weather for a couple of minutes.. here they come. Headlights, flashing lights, and the sound of fire engines. Orange, red, blue, white, yellow. All sorts of lights. Having hundreds of kids chanting "Go back home" when they pulled up was kind of hilarious, though I would rather be sleeping. Of course, they didn't listen to us a bit. After about 10 minutes of standing out there, the RA's were telling people who couldn't stand the weather to go stand inside of the student center and explaining that "This was not planned obviously, this could be overnight or it could be 5 minutes." I was one to stay outside though, because I am one of those types of people that needs to know what's going on. You know them -- the rubbernecking kind on the highway.
Joe had other ideas. "Dude, I'm going over to Kaleigh's room, fuck this." He's been trying for weeks now, I don't think a fire alarm will get him this lucky... but I said something like "alright, I'll let you know what happens. Oh, and good luck." And he walked across the parking lot and disappeared into the darkness.
At this point, I'm pissed as can be. There is no smell, no flames, no smoke, what the hell... it's 4:30AM by now.... please let us back in. This wish did not come true. One of my good buddies, who we'll call Moron #1 and lives in an adjacent building, and who's building is also hooked up to the same fire alarm system, gives me a ring. It went something like this:
Moron #1: "Yo, what are you doing?"
Me: "....Seriously?"
Moron #1: "Are you outside?"
Me: "I believe I am. My hair is frozen and I can't feel any of my limbs."
Moron #1: "I'll be right over."
So, bullshitting with Moron #1 and some other buddies for a while, the time was passing pretty quickly. But not quick enough.
About an hour and a half of being outside, we get what we've all been waiting for. The cue to go back inside. YES!!! People are charging towards the door. The students at the student center have a longer run back, but that's fine... they are warm. I finally get back to my room around 5:30AM without the luck of that man at the Long Island Walmart on Black Friday.
With feeling coming back to all my limbs and organs, I realize I have to take a leak. I take care of business, and hop in bed. As I hopped in bed, I realized what I had just done. I had just jumped in bed with frozen hair. My sheets, blanket, and pillow case were drenched at that point. God dammit. So I get up, try to dry my hair a little bit with my towel, and what do you know, Joe walks in. We talk for a bit, and within minutes both of us are out like lights.
Fast forward to this morning. I get up at 10:30 for my Diff EQ final at 11:45. I walk into the bathroom and see my other roommate (who is one of many RA's) and the first thing he says is: "Wanna know what it was?" .. "Yea, sure." ... "Well, story goes that some fucking idiot who didn't want to go outside to smoke decided to smoke in his room." "Are you fucking kidding me? That was it?" "Yea."
Brilliant fucking idea kid. You obviously don't know how to do it. So why not give it a try at 4 AM during finals week? Congratulations, you are now wanted dead by at least 700 kids. :| :| :| :|
In a dreary, still-asleep like state... I hear this constant, loud, annoying noise. I was having some dream about killer bee's chasing me, and the noise they made when they were in a pack of thousands was very intense and loud. Come to find out when I am now half-awake, that my buildings fire alarm is going off. "You have got to be fucking kidding me.... it's 3:38AM, I have a final tomorrow." After a few minutes of deciding if I want to take my chances in laying there, I decide against it. I am awake for the most part and functioning now.
I hop out of bed to look through the peep-hole of my door. Sure enough, this is no joke. Kids are scrambling all over the place outside my door. "Shit." I throw on some sweatpants, grab my jacket (Note: This jacket has no hood) and slip on some shoes. I notice that somehow, my roommate who we'll call Joe, is still passed out. The way he is sleeping is that he is facing away from me... facing towards the wall. So I go over to his bed and whisper "Joe.. Joe? JOE!" I get the beautiful answer of him rolling over very fast, with his arm following. Let's just say I felt it in the side of my head. Following his nice Jackie Chan style move, Joe finishes with "Are you fucking serious? Sorry about your head." Off to a wonderful start.
So Joe and I start heading downstairs with the hundreds of other students flocking for the main doors. Little did I know it was snowing, freezing rain, and well below freezing. I step outside the doors, and god dammit... I hear it. I hear the fire sirens going off downtown. Great, this will be a blast.
After standing in the freezing cold, windy, snowy weather for a couple of minutes.. here they come. Headlights, flashing lights, and the sound of fire engines. Orange, red, blue, white, yellow. All sorts of lights. Having hundreds of kids chanting "Go back home" when they pulled up was kind of hilarious, though I would rather be sleeping. Of course, they didn't listen to us a bit. After about 10 minutes of standing out there, the RA's were telling people who couldn't stand the weather to go stand inside of the student center and explaining that "This was not planned obviously, this could be overnight or it could be 5 minutes." I was one to stay outside though, because I am one of those types of people that needs to know what's going on. You know them -- the rubbernecking kind on the highway.
Joe had other ideas. "Dude, I'm going over to Kaleigh's room, fuck this." He's been trying for weeks now, I don't think a fire alarm will get him this lucky... but I said something like "alright, I'll let you know what happens. Oh, and good luck." And he walked across the parking lot and disappeared into the darkness.
At this point, I'm pissed as can be. There is no smell, no flames, no smoke, what the hell... it's 4:30AM by now.... please let us back in. This wish did not come true. One of my good buddies, who we'll call Moron #1 and lives in an adjacent building, and who's building is also hooked up to the same fire alarm system, gives me a ring. It went something like this:
Moron #1: "Yo, what are you doing?"
Me: "....Seriously?"
Moron #1: "Are you outside?"
Me: "I believe I am. My hair is frozen and I can't feel any of my limbs."
Moron #1: "I'll be right over."
So, bullshitting with Moron #1 and some other buddies for a while, the time was passing pretty quickly. But not quick enough.
About an hour and a half of being outside, we get what we've all been waiting for. The cue to go back inside. YES!!! People are charging towards the door. The students at the student center have a longer run back, but that's fine... they are warm. I finally get back to my room around 5:30AM without the luck of that man at the Long Island Walmart on Black Friday.
With feeling coming back to all my limbs and organs, I realize I have to take a leak. I take care of business, and hop in bed. As I hopped in bed, I realized what I had just done. I had just jumped in bed with frozen hair. My sheets, blanket, and pillow case were drenched at that point. God dammit. So I get up, try to dry my hair a little bit with my towel, and what do you know, Joe walks in. We talk for a bit, and within minutes both of us are out like lights.
Fast forward to this morning. I get up at 10:30 for my Diff EQ final at 11:45. I walk into the bathroom and see my other roommate (who is one of many RA's) and the first thing he says is: "Wanna know what it was?" .. "Yea, sure." ... "Well, story goes that some fucking idiot who didn't want to go outside to smoke decided to smoke in his room." "Are you fucking kidding me? That was it?" "Yea."
Brilliant fucking idea kid. You obviously don't know how to do it. So why not give it a try at 4 AM during finals week? Congratulations, you are now wanted dead by at least 700 kids. :| :| :| :|
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