Everything starts when I call my friend Pat and get set to go see Final Fantasy, showing at 10:00. As I'm on my way to the theatre, it's almost 9:00, and night is coming on. Everyone on the highway has their headlights on except a select few huge SUVs, two of which almost cost me my life by looming to the side and behind me like ninjas, causing me to swerve away at the last moment after trying to merge into their lane.
Threats on Killbat's life: +2
Once I got to the theater, I still had to wait for Pat. I was planning on returning this 24" iron pipe to him (we each got one on the 4th to shoot fireworks), so I got out of the car and proceeded to wander menacingly around the lot brandishing the pipe. When Pat showed up, I decided to make things interesting for the crowd outside by running up behind him like a psycho, holding the pipe over my head.
Stunned/annoyed bystanders: +6
We decided to make a run to Schnucks for bulk candy. After being nearly hit by an SUV merging into our lane and managing to navigate the perpetually under construction Manchester road, we make it to Schnucks. After we bought our candy, we both hit the bathroom to 'drain the lizard' before the film. I spent a full 2 minutes playing with the IR sensor on the faucet in the bathroom.
Threats on Killbat's life: +1
Gallons of water wasted: +1
Onward to the darkened, nearly packed theater. There were plenty of cool people there, in fact the two guys in front of Pat and me helped us make fun of celebreties during the E! trivia slides. During the (awesome) movie, the people to left of us spent their effort laughing at the movie during key plot points, and during the absolute quietest part of the entire film, one of their cell phones rang. To boot, it was a musical ringtone. My suspicions are confirmed when the credits roll that the voice of Neil is indeed Steve Buscemi.
Confirmed cool people in the world: +2
Confirmed ignorant arses in the world: +3
Movies Killbat will purchase on DVD: +1
Cool movies involving Steve Buscemi: +1
When Pat and I finally got up to leave after the credits, the entire place was deserted, the staff was gone, the arcade was shut down, and the lights were off. It was interesting, we could've stolen all the cardboard movie promos and gotten away clean. Oh well, what do I want with a giant cardboard Pterodactyl anyway? Outside, we found some reason to climb up a small hill to a highway offramp, where we could see a solar-powered, flashing detour sign packed away, but still active. Being the good citizens we are, we headed over, found the control panel, and turned it off. Did you know that those things have approximately 147 more controls and adjustments than an attack helicopter? Strange.
Missed opportunities to steal useless crap: +1
Good deeds performed: +1
We stayed up on that hill for another half hour, trying as best we could to attract police attention by looking suspicious in general to passing cars. We tried again to attract police attention by climbing back down to the theater parking lot, where Pat pretended to stab me and steal my wallet as I lie bleeding. Pat broke out the windshield washer fluid and we both filled our cars' reserves of blue juice.
Failed attempts to attract police: +2
Washer fluid reserves filled: +3
Then we left, and I headed toward Florissant. Once in town, I decided that I absolutely must have some tacos. I arrived at Taco Bell only to find I had missed closing time by 20 minutes. Dismayed, I reentered traffic, only to remember that White Castle is open 24/7. I flew down the road, stopped to make a left at a major intersection, and when I got my green arrow, a wide-turning SUV from the other direction almost creamed me, and then almost rolled trying to dodge back into their own turning lane. Before I escaped the intersection, I was almost hit head-on again by a huge white van running a red light.
Taco cravings denied: +1
Threats on Killbat's life: +2
Arriving at White Castle alive but shaken, I see an amazing sight. It's not that there are a dozen cars parked there, it's not that there are 8 cars in line at the drive-thru, it's that it's 1:30 AM, and this joint is in full overdrive serving customers. God bless White Castle. A short wait, then with Sack of Ten in hand I return home and boot my Pentium 100 to play One Must Fall. That done, I write this post. Thank you for reading about my night.
White Castle burgers consumed: +10
Giant robot fighters conquered: +4
My 8K7A/Palomino 1.2 arrive tomorrow...
Threats on Killbat's life: +2
Once I got to the theater, I still had to wait for Pat. I was planning on returning this 24" iron pipe to him (we each got one on the 4th to shoot fireworks), so I got out of the car and proceeded to wander menacingly around the lot brandishing the pipe. When Pat showed up, I decided to make things interesting for the crowd outside by running up behind him like a psycho, holding the pipe over my head.
Stunned/annoyed bystanders: +6
We decided to make a run to Schnucks for bulk candy. After being nearly hit by an SUV merging into our lane and managing to navigate the perpetually under construction Manchester road, we make it to Schnucks. After we bought our candy, we both hit the bathroom to 'drain the lizard' before the film. I spent a full 2 minutes playing with the IR sensor on the faucet in the bathroom.
Threats on Killbat's life: +1
Gallons of water wasted: +1
Onward to the darkened, nearly packed theater. There were plenty of cool people there, in fact the two guys in front of Pat and me helped us make fun of celebreties during the E! trivia slides. During the (awesome) movie, the people to left of us spent their effort laughing at the movie during key plot points, and during the absolute quietest part of the entire film, one of their cell phones rang. To boot, it was a musical ringtone. My suspicions are confirmed when the credits roll that the voice of Neil is indeed Steve Buscemi.
Confirmed cool people in the world: +2
Confirmed ignorant arses in the world: +3
Movies Killbat will purchase on DVD: +1
Cool movies involving Steve Buscemi: +1
When Pat and I finally got up to leave after the credits, the entire place was deserted, the staff was gone, the arcade was shut down, and the lights were off. It was interesting, we could've stolen all the cardboard movie promos and gotten away clean. Oh well, what do I want with a giant cardboard Pterodactyl anyway? Outside, we found some reason to climb up a small hill to a highway offramp, where we could see a solar-powered, flashing detour sign packed away, but still active. Being the good citizens we are, we headed over, found the control panel, and turned it off. Did you know that those things have approximately 147 more controls and adjustments than an attack helicopter? Strange.
Missed opportunities to steal useless crap: +1
Good deeds performed: +1
We stayed up on that hill for another half hour, trying as best we could to attract police attention by looking suspicious in general to passing cars. We tried again to attract police attention by climbing back down to the theater parking lot, where Pat pretended to stab me and steal my wallet as I lie bleeding. Pat broke out the windshield washer fluid and we both filled our cars' reserves of blue juice.
Failed attempts to attract police: +2
Washer fluid reserves filled: +3
Then we left, and I headed toward Florissant. Once in town, I decided that I absolutely must have some tacos. I arrived at Taco Bell only to find I had missed closing time by 20 minutes. Dismayed, I reentered traffic, only to remember that White Castle is open 24/7. I flew down the road, stopped to make a left at a major intersection, and when I got my green arrow, a wide-turning SUV from the other direction almost creamed me, and then almost rolled trying to dodge back into their own turning lane. Before I escaped the intersection, I was almost hit head-on again by a huge white van running a red light.
Taco cravings denied: +1
Threats on Killbat's life: +2
Arriving at White Castle alive but shaken, I see an amazing sight. It's not that there are a dozen cars parked there, it's not that there are 8 cars in line at the drive-thru, it's that it's 1:30 AM, and this joint is in full overdrive serving customers. God bless White Castle. A short wait, then with Sack of Ten in hand I return home and boot my Pentium 100 to play One Must Fall. That done, I write this post. Thank you for reading about my night.
White Castle burgers consumed: +10
Giant robot fighters conquered: +4
My 8K7A/Palomino 1.2 arrive tomorrow...
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