- Jul 18, 2000
- 17,112
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Oklahoma Tourism Council Bulletin: This list of
rules will be handed to each person as they enter the state
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW.
3. We all started hunting and fishing at no older than 9yrs old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked......by our corn-fed women.
5. Go ahead, bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13" trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right Whiskey's only $2.
9. The Sooners are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.
10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a spoon.
11.You bring Coke to my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
12.So you have a $60,000 car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
13 Get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
14.Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So, you're a feminist; Well, Isn't that cute.
15.Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop....enjoy.
16.They're pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 40 goes two ways I-35 goes the other two. Pick one.
17."Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.
18.Every person in every car/truck waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the idea?
19.Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the
fish.
20.We can't shoot doves; they're song birds. Even we feel a little stupid about that one.
Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.
rules will be handed to each person as they enter the state
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW.
3. We all started hunting and fishing at no older than 9yrs old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked......by our corn-fed women.
5. Go ahead, bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13" trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right Whiskey's only $2.
9. The Sooners are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.
10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a spoon.
11.You bring Coke to my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
12.So you have a $60,000 car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
13 Get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
14.Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So, you're a feminist; Well, Isn't that cute.
15.Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop....enjoy.
16.They're pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 40 goes two ways I-35 goes the other two. Pick one.
17."Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.
18.Every person in every car/truck waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the idea?
19.Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the
fish.
20.We can't shoot doves; they're song birds. Even we feel a little stupid about that one.
Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.
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