Source: Freeman
FIGHT OVER A CADAVER. Agents of two funeral parlors in the city nearly came to blows Monday evening following an argument over whose right it was to take the body of a dead person from a government hospital. The matter was settled by the hospital?s security officer before either one ? or both ? of the protagonists ended up in the morgue.
UNLUCKY SNATCHER. A young man, about 19 years old, snatched the cellular phone of a woman who was waiting for a taxi in front of an uptown hospital last Tuesday afternoon. The mobile phone was already in the snatcher?s hand but he lost it as he dashed across the street, fleeing from his victim. The snatcher was hit by a motorcycle, which continued speeding leaving the snatcher sprawled on the road. Unfortunately for the cellphone owner, her phone, a Nokia 3310, was picked up by someone who also fled with it.
FOR WANT OF A HARD DRINK. A truck driver who could not afford to buy any of the alcoholic drinks sold in town decided to try what some friends told him to do. He got a bottle of rubbing alcohol and mixed it with a cola drink. He drank the concoction and got a strong kick from it. The kick was so strong he kicked the bucket. Patay!
BROKEN FINGERS. A man of about 25 who appeared to be either drunk or high on drugs tried to mash the breast of a young woman who was standing on a roadside with her boyfriend watching the Santo Entiero procession last Good Friday. Unfortunately for him, the boyfriend was quick in grabbing the man?s hand, twisting it until the bones cracked. Now the man is said to be planning to file charges of physical injuries against the boyfriend.
HER DOG HER PRIORITY. A realty agent was heard telling a friend that her housemaid recently died because of lack of medical attention. ?I wasn't able to send her to the hospital because the medicals bills for my dog, a Doberman, were very high,?she said.
NAUGHTY GIRLS. Beware of some of the girls who operate on Colon St. at night. Or so warns the same Ear source (above). A few nights ago, a building contractor picked up one of these girls in Colon and brought her for a late dinner, after which they went to a lodging house on the same street. After making love with the girl, the man fell asleep and when he woke up the girl was no longer on his bed. Gone too was his wallet containing cash and some important papers.
LITTLE MISS RP. A neighborhood association in one of the subdivisions in the city was to hold a kiddies beauty pageant patterned after the Bb. Pilipinas pageant but was scuttled by a certain religious group. The candidates were little girls from 5 to 7 years old and were to wear bikini swimsuits. The said religious group found it ?in bad taste.? Its members prevailed upon the parents to withdraw their little girls from the pageant. ?Little girls shouldn't be wearing bikinis,? the leader of the religious group said.
IT'S HIS HAT. A 16-year-old boy was walking near the gate of the Queen City Gardens last Saturday afternoon when another youth, maybe a little older than he, tried to grab his baseball cap. Failing to take hold of the cap the other youth tried to force the issue by pulling a batangas knife from his hip and tried to st@b the boy. Unfortunately for him, the cap-owner knew how to defend himself, having had extensive martial arts lessons from his father, and turned the table on the snatcher who was forced to flee with a broken arm.
FAMILY FEUD. A husband who works in a factory in Lapu-Lapu City and his wife who works in a hotel in Saudi Arabia are "at war." The husband has been asking his wife to come home for her own safety in the light of the Iraq war but she has refused. Her reason is that she might not be able to get back her job if she would come home for the duration of the war. But the husband suspects his wife is playing with fire. Parents of the couple are trying to patch things up.
DUMB COP. A policeman got mad at the PUJ driver because he (driver) brought him to Colon St. instead of Talamban. The truth was, this cop did not know the route of the jeepney he rode in. It was not the driver?s fault really but the angry cop slapped him on the face and even seized his driver?s license and ID. ?That stupid cop must be found and slapped with the punishment he deserves,? an Ear source said.
PROSTI FRONTS. Many of the barbershops in the so-called red light district of the city double as fronts for prostitution. The barbershops have shingles that say: ?Health Club? or ?Health Shop? but they are actually massage clinics where the ?lady masahistas,? according to an Ear source, ?go all the way.?
DOGS ARE BETTER FED. A family in Lahug is surrounded by impoverished families who could hardly eat two ? repeat: Two ? meals a day. And when they do have the luck to eat, the food consists mainly of rice and noodles floating in a lot of water. Yet, their rich neighbor has been heard telling somebody that thousands of pesos of imported dog food go to their four expensive dogs. Aside from food, the family also spends thousands more on the monthly health care of the animals.
HOLDUP FOILED. A young man of about 17 or 18 tried to hold up an equally young woman and divest her of her cellular phone while she was waiting for someone near the Land Bank on P. del Rosario St-Jones Ave. junction last Friday evening (about 7 p.m.). Suddenly, he changed his mind. The young woman was his classmate. He turned his back and walked away.
FIGHT OVER A CADAVER. Agents of two funeral parlors in the city nearly came to blows Monday evening following an argument over whose right it was to take the body of a dead person from a government hospital. The matter was settled by the hospital?s security officer before either one ? or both ? of the protagonists ended up in the morgue.
UNLUCKY SNATCHER. A young man, about 19 years old, snatched the cellular phone of a woman who was waiting for a taxi in front of an uptown hospital last Tuesday afternoon. The mobile phone was already in the snatcher?s hand but he lost it as he dashed across the street, fleeing from his victim. The snatcher was hit by a motorcycle, which continued speeding leaving the snatcher sprawled on the road. Unfortunately for the cellphone owner, her phone, a Nokia 3310, was picked up by someone who also fled with it.
FOR WANT OF A HARD DRINK. A truck driver who could not afford to buy any of the alcoholic drinks sold in town decided to try what some friends told him to do. He got a bottle of rubbing alcohol and mixed it with a cola drink. He drank the concoction and got a strong kick from it. The kick was so strong he kicked the bucket. Patay!
BROKEN FINGERS. A man of about 25 who appeared to be either drunk or high on drugs tried to mash the breast of a young woman who was standing on a roadside with her boyfriend watching the Santo Entiero procession last Good Friday. Unfortunately for him, the boyfriend was quick in grabbing the man?s hand, twisting it until the bones cracked. Now the man is said to be planning to file charges of physical injuries against the boyfriend.
HER DOG HER PRIORITY. A realty agent was heard telling a friend that her housemaid recently died because of lack of medical attention. ?I wasn't able to send her to the hospital because the medicals bills for my dog, a Doberman, were very high,?she said.
NAUGHTY GIRLS. Beware of some of the girls who operate on Colon St. at night. Or so warns the same Ear source (above). A few nights ago, a building contractor picked up one of these girls in Colon and brought her for a late dinner, after which they went to a lodging house on the same street. After making love with the girl, the man fell asleep and when he woke up the girl was no longer on his bed. Gone too was his wallet containing cash and some important papers.
LITTLE MISS RP. A neighborhood association in one of the subdivisions in the city was to hold a kiddies beauty pageant patterned after the Bb. Pilipinas pageant but was scuttled by a certain religious group. The candidates were little girls from 5 to 7 years old and were to wear bikini swimsuits. The said religious group found it ?in bad taste.? Its members prevailed upon the parents to withdraw their little girls from the pageant. ?Little girls shouldn't be wearing bikinis,? the leader of the religious group said.
IT'S HIS HAT. A 16-year-old boy was walking near the gate of the Queen City Gardens last Saturday afternoon when another youth, maybe a little older than he, tried to grab his baseball cap. Failing to take hold of the cap the other youth tried to force the issue by pulling a batangas knife from his hip and tried to st@b the boy. Unfortunately for him, the cap-owner knew how to defend himself, having had extensive martial arts lessons from his father, and turned the table on the snatcher who was forced to flee with a broken arm.
FAMILY FEUD. A husband who works in a factory in Lapu-Lapu City and his wife who works in a hotel in Saudi Arabia are "at war." The husband has been asking his wife to come home for her own safety in the light of the Iraq war but she has refused. Her reason is that she might not be able to get back her job if she would come home for the duration of the war. But the husband suspects his wife is playing with fire. Parents of the couple are trying to patch things up.
DUMB COP. A policeman got mad at the PUJ driver because he (driver) brought him to Colon St. instead of Talamban. The truth was, this cop did not know the route of the jeepney he rode in. It was not the driver?s fault really but the angry cop slapped him on the face and even seized his driver?s license and ID. ?That stupid cop must be found and slapped with the punishment he deserves,? an Ear source said.
PROSTI FRONTS. Many of the barbershops in the so-called red light district of the city double as fronts for prostitution. The barbershops have shingles that say: ?Health Club? or ?Health Shop? but they are actually massage clinics where the ?lady masahistas,? according to an Ear source, ?go all the way.?
DOGS ARE BETTER FED. A family in Lahug is surrounded by impoverished families who could hardly eat two ? repeat: Two ? meals a day. And when they do have the luck to eat, the food consists mainly of rice and noodles floating in a lot of water. Yet, their rich neighbor has been heard telling somebody that thousands of pesos of imported dog food go to their four expensive dogs. Aside from food, the family also spends thousands more on the monthly health care of the animals.
HOLDUP FOILED. A young man of about 17 or 18 tried to hold up an equally young woman and divest her of her cellular phone while she was waiting for someone near the Land Bank on P. del Rosario St-Jones Ave. junction last Friday evening (about 7 p.m.). Suddenly, he changed his mind. The young woman was his classmate. He turned his back and walked away.
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