Mwilding and Mugs both pretty much gave the right explanation before I did,
but your still not emphasizing the right terms.
A lot of people here seem to have a confusion between Sexual Intercourse,
and Sexual Activity; and carry that confusion over to the belief that
if its not intercourse, it must not be SEX. Folks, its ALL sex... there are
just varying degrees of what kind of sex you are having.
And for the pedantic, there is also sexual behaviors which don't fall under the
standards of Sexually Active or Sexual Intercourse, but still involve sex.
"Thinking about it", is a sexual behavior, because 99.9% of us are capable of
becoming sexually aroused or at least interested just by using out imaginations.
Many of you are old enough to remember the "Baseball rules", but I will post an abridged
version for those who are not familiar with the concept.
"In the Game"
minor sexually intimate behavior, holding hands, hugs, light kisses, "spending time together".
First Base
Sexual intimacy, foreplay, light petting, strong kissing, rubbing, light clothed genital contact.
Second Base
Strong Sexual intimacy, foreplay, heavy petting, kissing non-facial areas, bites & hickies, heavy breathing,
under-clothes rubbing and light hand-to-gential contact. Stuff you probably would not do in a well lit crowded
room.
Third Base.
Strong sexual activity, clothes coming off, hand-genital, mouth-gential, and external genital-gential contact
"aka rubbing undies". Clothed HJs and BJs may fall into this category. Some forms of Penetration also
fall under this category. Also known as "light" sexual intercourse (less calories, less caffiene).
Stuff you wouldn't normally do in a dark public place. Unless you're Alanis Morissete.
Home Run
Sexual Intercourse, Genital to Gential Penetration, Anal Sex (yes it counts in here). .
HJs and BJs can also fall into this category, as they can be involved in some of the more esoteric
positions and techniques.
Basically if you have to look it up in "the Joy of Sex" or the Kama Sutra to
figure out if what you are trying is physically possible... then you might just be hitting a home run.
Everything from First Base on can be considered "having sex". Its just a matter of how much you are having.
So the question you should be asking is not does Oral Sex equal "sex", its what kind of "sex" does the oral
sex I'm having count as?
I disregard the whole virginity question as ill-defined. There are too many social, religous, medical and personal defintions
of that going around to qualify it properly for this thread. One can lose virginity without genital to genital penetration.
I hope this helps.
//You can thank my mother the nurse, for warping my understanding of human sexuality at an early age.