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Was I wrong to be upset?

WingZero94

Golden Member
Mar 20, 2002
1,130
0
0

So yesterday i'm happily chipping away ice from my driveway after work. It happens to be one of my daughters 2nd birthday. All of a sudden, unannounced, my mother in law pulls up.

MIL background - makes us feel like we have to hurry if we ever 'dare' to ask them to watch the kids. Always informs us of her days off when she doesn't want to be bothered.

Normally this wouldn't be terrible, except for the fact that her husband just got the flu. She usually, in turn, gets it (happens quite a bit). So i'm thinking to myself, wtf is she doing here. I have three young children, plus my wife and I that just got over colds. We don't need to be exposed to this shit! Of course I can't say anything as she just wants to see the birthday girl (we are holding a bday party next week with one of my other daughters). She procedes to come in and NOT take off her shoes which just bothers me (it is wet out, and my kids crawl around on the carpet). She then lays kisses on all of them and then, holding my youngest (almost one) puts her little fingers in her mouth acting like she is eating them. At this point i'm just trying to smile and not explode. Seriously, if one of my kids gets sick, they all do. And if they do, my wife (stay at home) usually does. This means that not only do we have 4 frackin copays, plus possible medicine, it means that I have to take a sick day myself.

After she left I informed my wife of my displeasure and she said it wasn't going to help being mad about it. Well, it felt better to me to mumble a few words under my breath. Should I have been upset, or perhaps I should not have even cared?


Cliffs:
MIL comes over while FIL has flu
MIL kisses my kids all over and puts hands in her mouth
I AM PISSED!
Wife says being mad won't help.



 

SpiderWiz

Senior member
Nov 24, 2004
898
3
81
IMHO, I think you just don't like you MIL. Just her appearance was enough to set you off.
 

WingZero94

Golden Member
Mar 20, 2002
1,130
0
0
Originally posted by: JohnCU
is mother in law an obvious idiot or just senile?
I think she just does whatever she feels like and doesn't always think it through. 'What will make 'me' happy' comes to mind....
 

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,558
7
81
ugh. that sucks. i hate it when people are completely oblivious to stuff like that.

reminds me of the time my MIL showed up the day after I had my front lawn laid with fresh sod.

i hear a car door shut and walk outside and where is she? standing in the middle of my fricking freshly-laid lawn, feet sunk into the squished and watered sod, saying, "wow, they did a great job!"

yeah they did. :|
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,145
9
81
you have the right to be pissed off. besides the fact its not fun dealing with a sick child influenza is one of the top causes of death in infants. so its nothing to mess around with.

it was irresponsible of your MIL to expose everyone to it.
 

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,089
12
76
fobot.com
i think you are over reacting

sounds like you don't like her, that is fine, but chill out , your blood pressure is going to go up
 

desy

Diamond Member
Jan 13, 2000
5,388
151
106
Kids are going to get sick you can't stop it.
Their immune systems haven't seen nearly enough different bugs, and as a parent they brought home doozies from daycare that both my wife and I got exposed to.
For about 1 1/2 yrs I was sick lots and the kids ,which is rare for me but now they are 7-5 they don't get sick as often and me either.
Being exsposed to dirt bacteria and bugs are better for them in the long run.

Just ride it out.
 

MrChad

Lifer
Aug 22, 2001
13,507
2
81
It's rude to show up unannounced, and that's something that you and your wife have to speak with her about. My mother-in-law lives only about 15 minutes away from us and she always wants to visit our son (her first grandchild). Nonetheless, she always calls us ahead of time, just as we would call her before coming over to her house.

Everything else that transpired could have been avoided if she had announced her visit ahead of time.
 

slag

Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
10,473
81
91
Originally posted by: WingZero94

So yesterday i'm happily chipping away ice from my driveway after work. It happens to be one of my daughters 2nd birthday. All of a sudden, unannounced, my mother in law pulls up.

MIL background - makes us feel like we have to hurry if we ever 'dare' to ask them to watch the kids. Always informs us of her days off when she doesn't want to be bothered.

Normally this wouldn't be terrible, except for the fact that her husband just got the flu. She usually, in turn, gets it (happens quite a bit). So i'm thinking to myself, wtf is she doing here. I have three young children, plus my wife and I that just got over colds. We don't need to be exposed to this shit! Of course I can't say anything as she just wants to see the birthday girl (we are holding a bday party next week with one of my other daughters). She procedes to come in and NOT take off her shoes which just bothers me (it is wet out, and my kids crawl around on the carpet). She then lays kisses on all of them and then, holding my youngest (almost one) puts her little fingers in her mouth acting like she is eating them. At this point i'm just trying to smile and not explode. Seriously, if one of my kids gets sick, they all do. And if they do, my wife (stay at home) usually does. This means that not only do we have 4 frackin copays, plus possible medicine, it means that I have to take a sick day myself.

After she left I informed my wife of my displeasure and she said it wasn't going to help being mad about it. Well, it felt better to me to mumble a few words under my breath. Should I have been upset, or perhaps I should not have even cared?


Cliffs:
MIL comes over while FIL has flu
MIL kisses my kids all over and puts hands in her mouth
I AM PISSED!
Wife says being mad won't help.
Overreact much?

Seriously, its just a chance they might get sick. Its not the end of the world. Children are very resistant to cold/flu bugs and besides, if they get it, it just makes their immune systems that much stronger.

As for the 4 co pays, are you whack? If one of my kids gets sick, my doctor always writes out enough prescriptions so that if others get symptoms, we just go fill the prescription for like 8 bucks. We don't all have to go see the doctor if one of us gets sick. This is pretty much standard practice i think.



 

WingZero94

Golden Member
Mar 20, 2002
1,130
0
0
I actually do enjoy being around her, however I think that she does lots of things like this that annoy me. Probably didn't help my attitude at the beginning, thats for sure. I know kids get sick, it's just never any fun holding those poor little girls over the sink while they throw up. Or waking up in the middle of the night to a barf covered little babe... poor little things.
 

Gooberlx2

Lifer
May 4, 2001
15,381
5
91
You're not wrong in being upset but, frankly, kids get sick....and it's good for them and their immune systems (despite the hassle for you and your wife). It's also good for them to see their grandma.
 

CptCrunch

Golden Member
Jan 31, 2005
1,878
1
0
Agreed, MIL was very irresponsible for coming around your children possibly infected with the FLU. Good lord
 

WingZero94

Golden Member
Mar 20, 2002
1,130
0
0
Originally posted by: slag
Originally posted by: WingZero94


Cliffs:
MIL comes over while FIL has flu
MIL kisses my kids all over and puts hands in her mouth
I AM PISSED!
Wife says being mad won't help.
Overreact much?

Seriously, its just a chance they might get sick. Its not the end of the world. Children are very resistant to cold/flu bugs and besides, if they get it, it just makes their immune systems that much stronger.

As for the 4 co pays, are you whack? If one of my kids gets sick, my doctor always writes out enough prescriptions so that if others get symptoms, we just go fill the prescription for like 8 bucks. We don't all have to go see the doctor if one of us gets sick. This is pretty much standard practice i think.
Our last doctors office made us pay for each child, even if we brought them all in at once. Thing that pissed me off about it was the appoint took like 5 minutes. "yep, they are all sick, heres the instructions, thanks".
 

Gooberlx2

Lifer
May 4, 2001
15,381
5
91
Originally posted by: WingZero94
Originally posted by: slag
Originally posted by: WingZero94


Cliffs:
MIL comes over while FIL has flu
MIL kisses my kids all over and puts hands in her mouth
I AM PISSED!
Wife says being mad won't help.
Overreact much?

Seriously, its just a chance they might get sick. Its not the end of the world. Children are very resistant to cold/flu bugs and besides, if they get it, it just makes their immune systems that much stronger.

As for the 4 co pays, are you whack? If one of my kids gets sick, my doctor always writes out enough prescriptions so that if others get symptoms, we just go fill the prescription for like 8 bucks. We don't all have to go see the doctor if one of us gets sick. This is pretty much standard practice i think.
Our last doctors office made us pay for each child, even if we brought them all in at once. Thing that pissed me off about it was the appoint took like 5 minutes. "yep, they are all sick, heres the instructions, thanks".
For that I'd consider either switching to a new doc/office...or directing your rage at them instead. :D
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,145
9
81
Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
You're not wrong in being upset but, frankly, kids get sick....and it's good for them and their immune systems (despite the hassle for you and your wife). It's also good for them to see their grandma.
sure they get sick and they NEED to see the Grandmother. BUT if it was really teh flu then the grandmother (and the parents) need to have the cuertesy of trying ot stay away from them.

the parents should have stepped up and said something when she arrived. Makeing it clear that they are not trying to be rude but the kids do not need to get the flu (wich is one of the leading cause of death in infants). She can see the kids when she is healthy.


the flu in children is much worse then a common cold and parents should take steps to try to reduce the exposure to it.




edit: and yes i would try to find a diffrent doctor/clinic if possible. its not uncommon to for us to have one appointment and have both chidlren seen if they have the same problem. never had a problem with it.
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
57,518
5,822
126
Dude, it's your Mother-in-law...of course you're wrong...

That's a battle you'll never win with your wife, regardless of how RIGHT you may actually be...
 

grohl

Platinum Member
Jun 27, 2004
2,849
0
76
1) Just be glad that you have relatives to help with childcare. We have three and no one within 3 hours.

2) Kids get sick. If they dont get sick from her then they will from your "clean" carpet (i.e. impossible) or their friends or anything they come in contact with.

3) Get over it. Kids love their grandma, plus she's not going to change, she's too old, and you are overreacting.
 

crystal

Platinum Member
Nov 5, 1999
2,424
0
0
Originally posted by: WingZero94
Originally posted by: slag
Originally posted by: WingZero94


Cliffs:
MIL comes over while FIL has flu
MIL kisses my kids all over and puts hands in her mouth
I AM PISSED!
Wife says being mad won't help.
Overreact much?

Seriously, its just a chance they might get sick. Its not the end of the world. Children are very resistant to cold/flu bugs and besides, if they get it, it just makes their immune systems that much stronger.

As for the 4 co pays, are you whack? If one of my kids gets sick, my doctor always writes out enough prescriptions so that if others get symptoms, we just go fill the prescription for like 8 bucks. We don't all have to go see the doctor if one of us gets sick. This is pretty much standard practice i think.
Our last doctors office made us pay for each child, even if we brought them all in at once. Thing that pissed me off about it was the appoint took like 5 minutes. "yep, they are all sick, heres the instructions, thanks".
lol - kids will get sick and that is a fact of life & all doc are like that. that's why you bring in kid for checkup if they really sick. A little bit fever, congestion & coughing? "yup, they got the cold - no med needed. they should feel better in a few days."
 

boomer6447

Senior member
Apr 19, 2001
389
0
0
Originally posted by: grohl
1) Just be glad that you have relatives to help with childcare. We have three and no one within 3 hours.

2) Kids get sick. If they dont get sick from her then they will from your "clean" carpet (i.e. impossible) or their friends or anything they come in contact with.

3) Get over it. Kids love their grandma, plus she's not going to change, she's too old, and you are overreacting.

Agreed...get over it. Save it for the bigger fights.
 

waffleironhead

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2005
6,550
81
101
Kinda reminds me of christmas a few years ago. My family all got together at the p's for the day. I'm playing around with my nephews for awhile. Then my brother says that it was a rough night before. The kids were throwing up most of the night. So needless to say my wife and I are sick the next day.

Sickness- the gift that keeps on giving!

OP- Next time inform the grandma that if she gets the kids sick she needs to come over and help out. I'm sure thats exactly what you want.
 

slag

Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
10,473
81
91
Originally posted by: WingZero94
Originally posted by: slag
Originally posted by: WingZero94


Cliffs:
MIL comes over while FIL has flu
MIL kisses my kids all over and puts hands in her mouth
I AM PISSED!
Wife says being mad won't help.
Overreact much?

Seriously, its just a chance they might get sick. Its not the end of the world. Children are very resistant to cold/flu bugs and besides, if they get it, it just makes their immune systems that much stronger.

As for the 4 co pays, are you whack? If one of my kids gets sick, my doctor always writes out enough prescriptions so that if others get symptoms, we just go fill the prescription for like 8 bucks. We don't all have to go see the doctor if one of us gets sick. This is pretty much standard practice i think.
Our last doctors office made us pay for each child, even if we brought them all in at once. Thing that pissed me off about it was the appoint took like 5 minutes. "yep, they are all sick, heres the instructions, thanks".

Dude, that sucks.. I would seriously bring one kid in and say all are having the same symptoms. If your PCP doesn't work with you on that, find another who will.
 

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