and a bunch of emo kids and goths come and walk up to me and say "dude, this is where we smoke, fsck off"
You obviously need a quicker gift of gab. My response would have been something like;
"with all your mom's mascara you're wearing, you clowns should stand at least 5 feet apart when smoking"
"are you a goth or a mime resurrected from hell?"
"I know your parents vote republican, but there are more socially constructive ways to express your disapproval"
Goth types here in the midwest might look sinister, but it would take a 10 on 1 to intimidate me enough to waste time laughing at them, let alone have to defend myself. Somebody who has more cheap bolts in their face than a Walmart coffee table just doesn't come off as very dangerous.