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Want to read a script based on ATOT convos?

S

slackerinabox

Lifer
Keep in mind that i'm criticizing myself here... Also, I'm not guy who's into fashion at all. This is more about perspective.

link comments are appreciated but keep remember that this is a draft.
 
Repost! 😉 j/k


Like I said in the other thread... I couldn't read past page 4. Just didn't grab me soon enough.

At first it starts out as if these people don't know each other, then half a page later they are discussing things as dumb as insane shoe prices... Just doesn't flow with me.

edit: Also, I want to know more. What kinda place are they at? What kind of place attracts a man wearing thousand dollar shoes?

Edit 2: hah... I read to part of page 4... didn't know it only went to page 5 :-x
 
Originally posted by: ness1469
Repost! 😉 j/k


Like I said in the other thread... I couldn't read past page 4. Just didn't grab me soon enough.

At first it starts out as if these people don't know each other, then half a page later they are discussing things as dumb as insane shoe prices... Just doesn't flow with me.

edit: Also, I want to know more. What kinda place are they at? What kind of place attracts a man wearing thousand dollar shoes?

Edit 2: hah... I read to part of page 4... didn't know it only went to page 5 :-x
Click to expand...

Yep, you're right- I should add more info about the setting... I'll also streamline it a little.. It's a low key short, I know. .I'll try to whip up the dialogue a little..
 
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