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Yeah, disabling DCOM won't do you any good, as many Windows core services reply on it. I'm thinking you have a bad network driver, or some other essential windows component is fubared. You could continue trying to diagnose, but honestly, format and reinstall at this point.
 
I do have a bad network controller (bad hardware AFAIK). That could be doing it? I should just uninstall the thing altogether then if the bad hardware is screwing with stuff. Among the first thing I noticed was my network connections control panel just completely freezing.
 
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