Very scary time for young men in America

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MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
I think that's what it boils down to...if your wife is OK with you having dinner & drinks alone with female friend, and if you're OK with it, then that's where your combined lines of appropriate behavior are. That's not where mine are, but again, I'm not telling anyone how to live their life, that's just how I choose to roll. Everyone's relationship is different, that's all. I am overly cautious, personally. Probably because I'm borderline irresistible to women, what with my ability to cook, 4-cylinder sports car, and rockin' dadbod :D
It's not about appropriate behavior, it's what mentally and emotionally stable men and women do. Relationships are about trust. You either choose to have it or, you find any number of issues to try and justify your lack of it.
 

Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
38,409
8,703
136
Apparently enough people "believed" him to get him appointed to the supreme court. If his reputation is in fact "trashed", he probably doesnt give a rats ass, since he has a lifetime appointment as one of the top 9 judges in the country.
They didn't believe him, they just didn't give a rat's ass. That's who we elect to the Senate in this country. My fervent hope is that the GOP gets burned to the ground and another opposition party rises from its ashes. We do need opposition parties, but the GOP has proven to be the shits. We do not need the shits here, we're in trouble, we need answers not anti-answers, and that's what we're getting from the GOP leadership, if you can call it that.
 
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OverVolt

Lifer
Aug 31, 2002
14,278
89
91
One of the problems I have with your outlook is children and most women are pretty bright. How can you possibly defend yourself and keep them as friends when they ask for a ride or comment on your never being alone with them?
They actually would never bring attention to this issue because the subtext is that you don't like them and they'd essentially be advertising you don't like them, which to a woman is basically death. They would always rather leave it unknown.
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
They actually would never bring attention to this issue because the subtext is that you don't like them and they'd essentially be advertising you don't like them, which to a woman is basically death. They would always rather leave it unknown.
You need to stop dating girls.
 

OverVolt

Lifer
Aug 31, 2002
14,278
89
91
You need to stop dating girls.
I wouldn't say go MGTOW or anything, but women love attention/hate being ignored and this whole #metoo thing leads to alot of men avoiding women in alot of cases which is just hysterical to me. Its pretty obvious when you ignore them that they needed men more than they'd ever be willing to admit.

Hilarious.

Lol.
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
I wouldn't say go MGTOW or anything, but women love attention/hate being ignored and this whole #metoo thing leads to alot of men avoiding women in alot of cases which is just hysterical to me. Its pretty obvious when you ignore them that they needed men more than they'd ever be willing to admit.

Hilarious.

Lol.
You're trying to 'game' women but, only girls play those games. Real women stand on their own. Labeling things like MGTOW and #metoo is just silly. Pro tip, if you use the word alpha in any context outside of mathematics, men and women will point and laugh at you.
 

kn51

Senior member
Aug 16, 2012
700
120
106
I think that's what it boils down to...if your wife is OK with you having dinner & drinks alone with female friend, and if you're OK with it, then that's where your combined lines of appropriate behavior are. That's not where mine are, but again, I'm not telling anyone how to live their life, that's just how I choose to roll. Everyone's relationship is different, that's all. I am overly cautious, personally. Probably because I'm borderline irresistible to women, what with my ability to cook, 4-cylinder sports car, and rockin' dadbod :D

Eh, normal. Don't worry about how you feel about it, those type of lunches always give me a stroke as well. And while it could be about trust, the problem is...how it is construed when viewed by a third party in public which someone can't quite understand.
 

MagnusTheBrewer

IN MEMORIAM
Jun 19, 2004
24,122
1,594
126
I'm deeply disturbed by the number of people here who view their relationships with women not as valued friends, coworkers and, inspiration to better themselves but, as drains on energy and finances. Not to mention, as possible liabilities to future income and professional growth. I can't think of a perspective less human. Not only is this outlook a mental aberration, it directly attacks society. It's a sickness and people who think that way need to be shunned and ridiculed at every opportunity. May you all die with millions in toys and no one knows you're gone till the automated payments stop.
 
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ImpulsE69

Lifer
Jan 8, 2010
14,946
1,077
126
Wow some of you people...lol. Unless you have ulterior motives, or your wife is uber paranoid and jealous, it is not an issue to associate with a female.

@Magnus...well I mean, women and culture kind of brought that on themselves. Maybe it's a huge generalization, but most women DO think emotionally, and are spiteful and vindictive. The laws mostly favor females in divorces. This alone has caused a big shift in how men approach women. As long as they are happy, all is well. When they are not happy many of the crazy ones will go out of their way to ruin a man.

That being said, judge of character is a huge part of this. Many women like "bad boys" and many men like "crazy" so they are setting both ends up for failure. These relationships rarely last.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,704
5,456
136
Eh, normal. Don't worry about how you feel about it, those type of lunches always give me a stroke as well. And while it could be about trust, the problem is...how it is construed when viewed by a third party in public which someone can't quite understand.

I mean, for me:

1. I'm a red-blooded male
2. Going out to dinner alone with a woman is called a date where I come from
3. I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea about what I'm doing - like you said, things can be misconstrued
4. I don't want to open the door to things potentially happening that shouldn't - emotional, physical, or otherwise

I'm old-fashioned & I don't like to go near what I consider my boundary lines. I'm not saying anyone else's way is good or bad & I'm not trying to force my opinion on anyone else. I also don't necessarily think there's a "one size fits all" answer because everyone's situation is different. But I do live in a world where people have feelings & have physical appetites, and where things can get legal real quick. Like, my buddy just got fired for sexual harassment for quoting a line from Family Guy to a new girl at his work, I kid you not.

I'm also not saying I have any cheating intentions with anyone, and in reality, it'd be perfectly harmless for me to go have a solo lunch date or drive somewhere with another woman. I'd just rather not open that door...like, at all, ever, even just a little bit. And it's never been a problem in my life because it's simply not something I do. I can't fall down a slippery slope if I don't get near it! I think you can value other people in a variety of ways, but for me, as a married man, having dinner alone with another woman who is not my wife isn't one of those ways. If that's acceptable to someone else, then more power to them!
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,704
5,456
136
You either haven't had enough exposure to sociopaths/subclinical psycopaths or are possibly one yourself and are incognizant of the risk and you'd indignant if it happened to you lol.

Oh my gosh, the stories I have. Not just about girls, but about guys, too. I can't even count on my fingers how many of my female friends have had to get restraining orders against guys who turned out to be stalkers & couldn't just let the relationship go when things didn't work out.
 

kn51

Senior member
Aug 16, 2012
700
120
106
I mean, for me:

Nothing to apologize for. A lot of us get it. Some of us don't. Different strokes for different folks. Makes the world go around.

Being risk averse in these situations is not a bad thing.
 
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Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,704
5,456
136
Nothing to apologize for. A lot of us get it. Some of us don't. Different strokes for different folks. Makes the world go around.

Being risk averse in these situations is not a bad thing.

I felt bad for my buddy. He's not a predator, had been working there for like 4 years, and nobody had it out for him or anything. The new girl was a lawyer & went straight to HR & bam, he was a goner. It was bad taste to quote what he did from the cartoon, especially when he wasn't friends with the new girl yet & didn't know her, and she didn't know that he quoted more movie lines than speaking normal conversation. Bummer.
 

kn51

Senior member
Aug 16, 2012
700
120
106
I felt bad for my buddy. He's not a predator, had been working there for like 4 years, and nobody had it out for him or anything. The new girl was a lawyer & went straight to HR & bam, he was a goner. It was bad taste to quote what he did from the cartoon, especially when he wasn't friends with the new girl yet & didn't know her, and she didn't know that he quoted more movie lines than speaking normal conversation. Bummer.

Yeah that really wasn't a great move...

But hey, goes both directions. The HR director harassed me. Ugh.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,704
5,456
136
Yeah that really wasn't a great move...

But hey, goes both directions. The HR director harassed me. Ugh.

Oh dang! What do you even do it in that situation :eek: