VENDORS! GAH!

[AreaCode707]

I love sending out spec questions to vendors and getting back stuff like this:

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.*

A. Yes.

A one-word answer, EXACTLY the level of detail I was going for!

I also love getting back 20 pages of mispelled and incomplete responses because the sales guy mouthed off to me in an email on Friday evening, scared himself thinking he was too mouthy, then made his poor technical people work all weekend on something I gave them two weeks to do so he could "look good" for me on Monday morning.

*Not actual question but same general idea.

 

[vi edit]

That's why I tell the PM that I'm working with on the vendor side to get me an answer from engineering or allow me to talk directly to engineering. I cringe every time the sales people log into conference calls going over technical things.

 

[mugs]

And since you're probably dealing with marketing people, who knows if that "yes" is actually true.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
That's why I tell the PM that I'm working with on the vendor side to get me an answer from engineering or allow me to talk directly to engineering. I cringe every time the sales people log into conference calls going over technical things.

We (engineering) cringe too.

 

[AreaCode707]

New gem:

Q. In order to do functionality x, does the tool require y or z?
A. This is done through integration.

WELL DUH! And in integration, you are going to require either y or z to do it!

I think the technical people wrote the answers to these questions but since the Sales person made them do it over the weekend, they were either running on loss of sleep or just had a "**** it" attitude about being robbed of their weekend. Can't say I blame them.

 

[CrackRabbit]

At least you are not left wondering what event a person ran in the Special Olympics when talking to people on the phone in your company that work at a different location.

 

[dullard]

I get that too. All the time.

I am continuously looking for new parts with new features, and I need my questions answered. I rarely find a vendor who is willing to do so.

1) ~25% don't call back and don't respond to emails.
2) ~25% answer back with one word responses that don't answer the important questions.
3) ~25% are very helpful.
4) ~25% forward my message to a distributor who doesn't understand my question, so he forwards it back to the person I emailed to begin with. Rinse and repeat. After weeks of phone calls, emails, etc, each one having the distributor fuc& up the discussion between me and their engineers they usually give up and let me talk directly and have my answer in 30 seconds. This is the most frustrating. It takes longer for you to forward my message to someone who cannot possibly answer it than to just answer it directly.

 

[kranky]

My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

I think you won this thread.... :thumbsup:

 

[KB]

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

Thank you, you just wrote my entire marketing piece for the new app I am working on.

 

[Wonderful Pork]

I'm an engineer and we have specifically been told NOT to have communications with the end customer without appropriate approvals.

I guess engineers tell it like it is, not like how it was pitched.

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

:thumbsup:

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

I think you won this thread.... :thumbsup:

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: <-- last one was my big toe

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

No MEGO status, but my "Vendor Bullsh*t" alarm is going nuts.

You will go far in the industry though, you've managed to say nothing with more words than any of my managers can.

ZV

 

[Winchester]

We always make the vendor clarify which department is answering the question.

:thumbsup: for kranky's response.

 

[ryan256]

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
No MEGO status, but my "Vendor Bullsh*t" alarm is going nuts.

lol... same here. Its sad I have to wade through stuff like this several times a week.

 

[Printer Bandit]

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

kranky for elite :thumbsup: oh, wait....

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: kranky
My side job is writing responses to such questions. The good part is I don't really need to know anything about the specific product.

Q. Does your tool include functionality x? In what ways is functionality x integrated with functionalities y and z? Please describe the integration process, costs and end user experience.

Functionality X is a core element of the product and a key differentiator of our product line. The integration of X with Y and Z is achieved using a web 2.0-based middleware component which is fully XML compliant. Since XML is an open specification, X can be integrated in the future with all future modules. A schema defines the links between XML attributes and field mapping is done between X, Y and Z to eliminate duplication of data and the need to manually restructure records.

Costs to integrate X with Y and Z are low. It is a simple matter of developing a schema, and defining the field mapping to correlate attributes. The specific cost for a particular deployment will depend on the number of fields, records, and datatypes. Many of our customers prefer to have a custom user interface but it is not necessary to achieve the benefits of our product. We also offer a SaaS platform for users who prefer not to invest in depreciating infrastructure, as well as both R/3 and ERP 6.0 modules (that's just for you, HC) which are fully NetWeaver compliant.

The end user experience for users of our product is unparalled. As mentioned, those customers who design a new user interface find both deployment time and ramp-up time to be very short and achieve a high level of satisfaction. In 98% of our deployments, targeted ROI numbers are achieved or exceeded; in 80%, initial project budgets are met even when a full specification is not defined. I hope by now you have quit reading, as I could really go for a cold one and my suspicions are that you have achieved MEGO status (My Eyes Glazed Over) by this point. Upgrades of our SOA-based product suite do not require user retraining, further improving the end user experience.

:beer: (Thanks for the ERP nod. )

 

[hanoverphist]

i asked for submittal cut sheets for a sunshade a vendor is adding to an industrial enclosure, they told me they could give me a blueprint for 150 bucks. im still waiting for him to work that out, i told him that subs for anything they supply is included and always has been, we wont pay for it. he will lose close to 35k if he doesnt get this covered, there are too many other hoffman places i can get stuff from for him to argue over 150 bucks. i just hope hes a member here and sees the amounts and figures out its him im talking about >;]

 

[kranky]

And now for the endorsements for our product, using quotes from this very thread!

"you won" - Astaroth33

"Thank you, you wrote...my entire...new app" - KB

"We...have...approvals. I...tell it like it is" - Wonderful Pork

"...going nuts...you will go far in the industry" - Zenmervolt

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: kranky
And now for the endorsements for our product, using quotes from this very thread!

"you won" - Astaroth33

"Thank you, you wrote...my entire...new app" - KB

"We...have...approvals. I...tell it like it is" - Wonderful Pork

"...going nuts...you will go far in the industry" - Zenmervolt

Is this the appropriate point to insert a slide with nothing but "client" logos?* **

*Clients represented may not be current clients, since they dropped us 24 months ago.

**Clients represented may or may not have used a portion of the product related to what we're trying to sell you.

 

[SampSon]

Any decent answer is going to be a load of circle talking bs anyway (just like Kranky displayed for you).

 

[SonnyDaze]

Go away................................

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Any decent answer is going to be a load of circle talking bs anyway (just like Kranky displayed for you).

That's precisely what I want. I'm a documentation fiend - anything they said aloud to me in a demo I want on paper so that in 12 months when they can't deliver it, I can nail them to the wall.

 

[SampSon]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: SampSon
Any decent answer is going to be a load of circle talking bs anyway (just like Kranky displayed for you).

That's precisely what I want. I'm a documentation fiend - anything they said aloud to me in a demo I want on paper so that in 12 months when they can't deliver it, I can nail them to the wall.

True, so just tell one of them that you want a whole long response of a bunch of well thought out BS. They will find someone to do that.