Vacation sucks

[fbrdphreak]

Background: My wife works full-time and goes to law school at nights. We never see eachother or spend time together. She has 3 weeks off from school and we spend the entire time in NZ. As soon as we get back, we go back to work.

New Zealand is great. Being stuck with 2 women for 3 weeks is not. One of those women being my crazy (and I mean whacko) mother in law (MIL) is not. Being a third-wheel 98% of the time is not. But now the icing on the cake.
(Note: MIL lives in NZ, we live in US)

Crazy mother-in-law yells at me two days ago, in a severe over-reaction to something I did. I was already in a foul mood because we were on a mountain hike and she was stopping every 2 minutes for some BS reason - frustrating as hell when I already walk 3x faster than she does.

And I mean she talks to me like shit. I don't take that well, from ANYONE and it is all I can do to not say anything back. She runs her mouth some more, "Yeah that's right, I wouldn't apologize either" with more of a sneer to it than even her other supreme bitch of a daughter. She later tells my wife she expects me to apologize - fuck that.

Since then, I've been ostracized. MIL doesn't acknowledge my presence. My wife really likes NZ and of course wants to spend time with her mother she never see's, so she's still chipper as ever. So they interact constantly, go on bike rides (the seat on the bike I'm supposed to use pulverizes my pelvic bone, so that's out for me), chit-chat, watch stupid movies, go shopping for 5 hours, etc etc etc. I'm practically starving 3/4 of the day because all of a sudden we're eating either extremely early and/or extremely late. While before my wife & her mom were focusing on eachother at least 3/4 of the time, meaning I got little interaction with my wife whom I never get to spend time with anyway, now they're focusing 100% on eachother and I'm sitting here with my thumb up my ass.

I'm sorry - I had to rant some, I'll try not to bitch anymore. Our plane leaves in about 30 hours - I can't fvcking wait.

 

[D1gger]

It sounds like rather than swallowing your pride and and appologizing so you can at least be a participant on this trip, you would rather be miserable and alone.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

In my short existence, I have never met a more annoying phenomenon than when you are within the blast radius of one woman meeting another woman. My parents always told me it was limited to young, immature girls. How wrong they were. It's just being a woman.

 

[secretanchitman]

i feel your pain. i hate when those kinds of trips happen (more girls and you're the only guy).

 

[ktehmok]

Do you have your own cash? Christ I hope so. Somewhere on that island, there is a titty bar and a steak made our of some animal that has walked or crawled at some point with your name on it.

Yer balls are disappearing right before your eyes. F those two & go have some fun by yourself. They're already being bitches, you might as well enjoy yourself. Especially for flying halfway around the fucking world for your wife.

 

[Epic Fail]

Be glad your mom wasn't along for the trifecta.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: ktehmok
Do you have your own cash? Christ I hope so. Somewhere on that island, there is a titty bar and a steak made our of some animal that has walked or crawled at some point with your name on it.

Yer balls are disappearing right before your eyes. F those two & go have some fun by yourself. They're already being bitches, you might as well enjoy yourself. Especially for flying halfway around the fucking world for your wife.

I agree with this sentiment.. Go have your own fun. When my gf found a friend and started having fun with her, I went to the steakhouse and got me a steak and went to a local LAN party event. Just do your thing.

 

[everman]

I agree with just going out on your own and doing something fun.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Sorry to hear that man. Sucks to have your time off ruined by a relative. Where abouts in NZ are you at the moment?

 

[fbrdphreak]

The problem with doing my own thing is that we're in a god-awful small town. I can walk across the town in 30 minutes, and have. The most there is to do is find the only passable food they have here - french fries (called 'chips'). Everywhere there is something to do (movies, stores, etc) is a minimum 20 minute drive away.

I'm not much angry with my wife, and I did want to come initially. I guess I just didn't expect to be the third-wheel the entire time.

I'm not saying it has all been bad. We've seen some cool places that I'm glad to have been. I even went to a local drag race (me = car guy), which is actually a first for me. But inbetween doing interesting things, we were either doing boring things I was drug along with, or I'm bored out of my skull.

But as I said, the icing on the cake is the "shunning."

It wouldn't be so bad if I had any vacation left when we got home. But no, back into the grind for both of us. While I'm looking forward to that from the point of getting out of here, I wish I had time to spend relaxing with my wife. Instead she'll be back working full time and in class three nights a week - studying the other nights and weekends.

What a waste :frown: Thanks for listening folks

P.S. I'm in Greytown, about 60km away from Wellington.

 

[BoomerD]

Get a deep-sea fishing charter or rent/borrow a rod & reel and spend some serious man-time...drinking beer and fishing...IIRC, they have some great trout fishing in NZ.

 

[Geekbabe]

When we go to California and stay with my inlaws,I kind of figure the trip is going to be all about my husband getting to visit and spend time with his parents.If I wanted us to have time alone,I'd chose another vacation destination.

 

[mooglemania85]

Meh, tell your wife when you get back, not us. Why did you choose to spend the entire 3 weeks in NZ in the first place? Didn't you know the MIL was a beoyotch to begin with?

Anyhoo, at least you know where you will NOT be going next year, and it's not like it's easy for the MIL to visit you back in the states.

 

[potato28]

Buy a DS and a fun game. Keep it out of sight of the both of them and you should be golden for being bored. :thumbsup:

 

[Chunkee]

I have awakening and very bad news for you, and this is the truth...you mother in law, that is your wife to be.... skippy straight there bud...

get a ticket for you and leave them both...esp. if your wife tolerates her mother treating you like that....it is only downward...oh, and I am married to an attorney...knowitalls, that are minimally correct...

njoy

 

[TXHokie]

My wife is nothing like her mother tho...unfortunately that goes for both the bad and the good as well. Can't have 'em all.
I try to minimize activities with the outlaws whenever possible. Look at the bright side, at least you're on different continent - I was only able to put a few states in between us.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Get a deep-sea fishing charter or rent/borrow a rod & reel and spend some serious man-time...drinking beer and fishing...IIRC, they have some great trout fishing in NZ.

Not in Greytown. I've been through there...that's a small ass town in the middle of nowhere. Poor man.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
The problem with doing my own thing is that we're in a god-awful small town. I can walk across the town in 30 minutes, and have. The most there is to do is find the only passable food they have here - french fries (called 'chips'). Everywhere there is something to do (movies, stores, etc) is a minimum 20 minute drive away.

I'm not much angry with my wife, and I did want to come initially. I guess I just didn't expect to be the third-wheel the entire time.

I'm not saying it has all been bad. We've seen some cool places that I'm glad to have been. I even went to a local drag race (me = car guy), which is actually a first for me. But inbetween doing interesting things, we were either doing boring things I was drug along with, or I'm bored out of my skull.

But as I said, the icing on the cake is the "shunning."

It wouldn't be so bad if I had any vacation left when we got home. But no, back into the grind for both of us. While I'm looking forward to that from the point of getting out of here, I wish I had time to spend relaxing with my wife. Instead she'll be back working full time and in class three nights a week - studying the other nights and weekends.

What a waste :frown: Thanks for listening folks

P.S. I'm in Greytown, about 60km away from Wellington.

If I was you, I would take a few days to myself and go see Wellington or go to Auckland. You're married to your wife, not fused to her.

 

[dbk]

Take a boat ride to AU...Profit?

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Get a deep-sea fishing charter or rent/borrow a rod & reel and spend some serious man-time...drinking beer and fishing...IIRC, they have some great trout fishing in NZ.

Not in Greytown. I've been through there...that's a small ass town in the middle of nowhere. Poor man.

Don't they have rental cars there or public transportation for that matter? ANYTHING to get out of the house and away from the M.I.L. would be good...

 

[PowerEngineer]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
When we go to California and stay with my inlaws,I kind of figure the trip is going to be all about my husband getting to visit and spend time with his parents.If I wanted us to have time alone,I'd chose another vacation destination.

Quoated Geekbabe just in case you overlooked it.

Let's see... You go all the way to the town in New Zealand where your mother-in-law lives, and you're surprised to be spending time with her? You certainly should have understood that her mother was going to be the focus of your wife's attention. I bet your wife expected that you would at least try to get along with her mother for so short a length of time. You may owe your wife an apology too.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Background: My wife works full-time and goes to law school at nights..

Dude, I did what your wife did (work full time and law school at night). That really sucks. Have a beer or three and bitch out your MIL. Also, I know how bad it can be to be around too many women. In college, I lived with 5 women in a house once. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but it was a terrible experience. I'll post about it sometime.

 

[fbrdphreak]

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
When we go to California and stay with my inlaws,I kind of figure the trip is going to be all about my husband getting to visit and spend time with his parents.If I wanted us to have time alone,I'd chose another vacation destination.

Quoated Geekbabe just in case you overlooked it.

Let's see... You go all the way to the town in New Zealand where your mother-in-law lives, and you're surprised to be spending time with her? You certainly should have understood that her mother was going to be the focus of your wife's attention. I bet your wife expected that you would at least try to get along with her mother for so short a length of time. You may owe your wife an apology too.

I wasn't surprised, more just that when I thought "Hmmm, should I spend my ENTIRE vacation doing this" I didn't realize it meant I'd be ignored most of the time.

For the last time, I'm not upset with my wife at all. I'm glad she's getting to spend time with her mother. I wouldn't want to ruin that for her, and it hasn't. In fact, if anything the shunning has increased their closeness the past few days.

And there was no "trying" to get along with her. We were just fine, but the fact of the matter is she is a screwball and my wife knows it too. She overreacted to something, talked to me like shit and demanded an apology. Yes, under other circumstances I would have apologized - but not when people talk to me like that. Someone better have a damn good reason for saying shit like that to me, for me to be able to apologize - she did not.

And "short time" - it is almost a damn month down here. Living for a MONTH with my MIL, in a dinky ass town, in a TINY ass house, with no goddamn freedom to go anywhere.
Just the other day she (MIL) was even saying that we were all lucky we hadn't blown up at eachother, living in such close quarters for such a long time. Heh

If this crap had started sooner, I might have taken the train somewhere or found SOMETHING else to do away from here. But thankfully, in less than 20 hours I will be on a place away from this place.
Hell, when we arrived in Auckland (north end of the island) and our plane to Wellington (south end of the island) was delayed, I wanted to get a rental car and make the drive down if things didn't work out. I'd have LOVED to do something like that. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[rbV5]

And here I am wishing I was in NZ.....you cannot be far from a decent surf spot?

 

[Kev]

So what exactly did she say to you or you say to her?