*Update* Help me make this website worse

[SmiZ]

My roommates and I are redesigning a website for the company I just finished co-oping for. It currently looks like THIS, which is no prize, but as a joke for my boss I'm telling him that so far we have come up with THIS.

*Warning website may cause permanent vision damage*

I've already done just about everything to the page that I hate to see, but any other ideas to really scare him would be appreciated.



And no, don't worry about him pulling our contract, I joke with him all the time. He's seen the work we've done for other sites and he will realize I'm only kidding.

*edit* The old site looks like my first link. That's what we're updating. It'll look more like THIS when we're done.

*Update* Made some changes, give it another look and thanks for the suggestions. I've now got an annoying popup and java script errors. We should have an anandtech contest for the worst website. Winner gets a trout.

 

[Vikaden]

have like half a million pop-ups come up when you open the page.

 

[SmiZ]

pop up windows, check.

 

[tim0thy]

hey, your submit query button isn't working!!!

lots of blinky stuff is good too hehe

 

[RedRooster]

He may laugh at it, but inside he'll be thinking "What the hell are these jokers spending all their time on?"
I'd spend a little more time in the real site's design, it's looking good so far.

 

[cpl593h]

Put some irritating midi in the background. Or make the background image an animated gif.

 

[RedRooster]

make the entire page a onMouseOver event, so as soon as the mouse is moved a pop up will appear.

 

[tomcat]

also add some javascript errors, and make the page forward to a second in a split second so you will not be able to use the back button..

 

[jpsj82]

mispell wrds.

 

[Fardringle]

Change the font color to a bright yellow or pink, and put a scrolling java banner (HATE THOSE!!) in the browser status bar...

 

[Dofuss3000]

make the text really bright!

 

[eakers]

get small pics and make them big so you can see the pixels...

*kat. <-- heheheeeeeeeeeeee

 

[loup garou]

2 words:

Dancing Hamsters.

 

[loup garou]

oh! oh!

Use huuuuuuuge images but resize them in HTML so that they're normal sized. That'll make it load up slow as ass.

I hate non-optimized images!

 

[jpsj82]

Don't type text. Have all your text be pic files, so they take a while to load.

 

[DannyLove]

yup, thats sick as hell. my suggestion:

1. add one of those rainbow bar gif lines that blink and move.
2. do not align crap. make everything unaligned
3. thrown in one of those clip art images.
4. have some pictures all pixelated
5. change the background to a sick solid color, like pink. or something.
6. add a &quot;you are visitor ..... &quot; on top of the counter.

looking good..............too bad my eyes are beginning to bleed. good job!

 

[PliotronX]

Don't forget to put in &quot;All your base are belong to Surmotech&quot;

 

That orange backround stuff HAS to GO!

 

[SmiZ]

See above for update.

 

[ArkAoss]

well thats pretty lame man, every ones seen the &quot;navigation cancelled&quot; screen

try something more original, like make it look like a Linux box. navigation cancelled is all i get.

 

[SmiZ]

What are you talking about ark? Navigation cancelled? The page loads for me, a java script pop up comes up and then the images are downloaded.

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

To be slightly more irritating don't forget the slow-loading midi file, and that little cutesy program that makes your mouse cursor into something else (e.g., Pikachu face) and leaves a trail as it's moved

 

[dopcombo]

oh my god... that has to be one of the ugliest ones ever...
took 10 sec on my T3, immediately asked me for javascript debugging, tried loading midi (diasbled on mine), and my god.... YELLOW?!?!

OH YEAH!!

No suggestions on how to further crap it... but the popups that keep appearing really do piss people off. And put in more of those damn annoying gif files...

 

[SmiZ]

As I built this I never realized how much fun it can be. I urge you all, especially web designers to attempt to build the worst web site possible. If I weren't at the computer labs I would add some extremely annoying flash too. Good times.

 

[tim0thy]

ROFLMAO!!!

The popup!
God, YELLOW!
The spinning hamster!

AHHH