ugh, I need some girl advice.....

[HydroStream6]

Please try to give me any helpful advice you can....

I have known this one girl, we'll call her Michelle, for about 5 years now. We were merely aquantances untill about Spring of this year. Since then, we have become pretty good friends in my estimation. She has told me things that she has only told to her best friend, and some things that they don't even know. There isn't one thing about her that I dont like, she is super intelligent, fun to talk to, pretty, everything I could want in a girl. I think about her 24/7, even have dreams at night...... I could honeslty see being with her for the rest of my life.... if I had the opportunity..

Now the bad part, her boyfriend, we'll call him Bob. He is two years older than she. They have been together for about 18 months now. I don't think very highly of him. He treats her like crap sometimes, he doesnt hurt her physically, but mentally he does. They have been on a rough road the past few months, and I really do think that she would be better off without him. I could name a million reasons for her to dump him, but I don't want this post to be tooo long.

So anyways, they are OK at the present, but I have always wanted to tell her how I feel. I havent only because I didnt want to cause any problems between the two of them, and I still dont. But I am finding myself more depressed lately because of how I feel, and I really think I need to move on, either with or without her.

So now, the dilemma is what to do? Do I tell her how I feel and pray she feels the same way? Do I move on and just remain good friends? I would really hate to lose her, but it hurts me too much seeing her with Bob when I want her with me.

I know I may sound conceited, but I rreally truly think she would be better off with me. This Bob is the kinda guy that takes her to a party and ditches her there. Or invites her to his house and she ends up talking to me online because he is too busy with his other friends.

So please give me any advice you can, and please don't say anything too mean, I am a very sensitive person.

Thanks.

 

[Pastfinder]

Tell the truth point blank then sit back and wait, which is all you can do, and hope that "Bob" doesn't get out of line.

 

[AmdEmAll]

Kill "bob" , get rid of the body. Then she will go to you for comfort and she will be yours Good Luck Friend.

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

You've said your feelings very well in what you've written here. I'd be inclined to say tell her or write her how you feel, especially if you feel you can't remain much longer in the platonic friend role.

 

[Lalakai]

gotta roll the cubes and reach for the brass ring; elsewise you'll always be wondering. Just go slow, pick the right moment and make certain you leave her an escape path or else you might also loose a very good friend. Don't bring up her current bf; whether you're right about him or not, she's probably too close to the situation to see anything wrong.

good luck

 

[lillilly]

HydroStream6,

Listen to your best friend!!! You are a great guy, she'd be a fool to say no. But, go on a few "dates" with her first, like to the mall. Maybe even double with me and my "friend with benifits." Try to take Bob's place, but do it a lot more descrietly than I did. lol Eventually she'll chose that better man. But whatever you do, don't tell her you love her, you'll regret it like I did with "Rainbow." :frown: But now I found my "friennd with benifits." Sorry, I'm starting to trail off. Just take it slow and talk with your heart not your...

LilLilly

P.S. - Sorry to those who have no idea what i'm talking about.

 

[perry]

My roommate is going through the EXACT same thing, except "Bob" lives about 6 hours away from "Michelle". If I didn't know he was sitting on the couch drinking beer I woulda thought it was him posting

He finally told his Michelle how he feels. Well, he wrote her a letter. Then he left the state for 2 days. Then he hasn't seen her sense. Who knows what'll happen.

But his Michelle's Bob is much worse than your Bob. He'll call Michelle and leave terrible messages on the machine. "Slut, b*tch, you're f*ckin someone else, etc" He'll continuously call her cell phone when she's out with her friends and get p*ssed if she misses a call. The guy is a real punk. The kinda guy that when you see you just wanna lay into his arse..

Who knows what'll happen. But good luck.

 

[konichiwa]

Best thing to do IMO is just be blunt about it. Sit down, tell her exactly what you just said but don't expect ANYTHING. Just tell her exactly how you feel and make sure to add in how much you care about her () and then wait for her response. You'll never know if you don't try.

 

[Passions]

forget about her and move on.

 

[Sgt.Speculum]

Hydro,

I'm probably the last person who should be giving out relationship advice, but your situation sounds remarkably similar to the one I was in just recently. I met a girl and there was chemistry and her relationship with a current boyfriend was stagnating(i'm sure Michelle knows that her relationship is failing, but people will perpetuate bad relationships for various reasons i.e. fear of being alone etc.) Anyway, I made it obvious that I was interested, I gave her lots of attention. I'm sure Michelle isn't dumb and she'll know that you're interested without really saying anything. You can see how she plays it off, you should be able to sense if there's potential. It happened like that for me, we would stare at each other a lot, silences, awkward pauses. You could just feel chemistry. After a little while I just came out and stated my intentions. I told her that I was interested and then I pretty much left the ball in her court. I gave her space because at first she didn't know what to think and after a short while she came looking for me. Been pretty much moving on from there. She did break up with her boyfriend, but she says she didn't do it for me, and I believe that. However, I did show her that there are nice guys out there that can probably treat her better than she expected to be treated. If you're a nice guy you'll win out in the end. And if not with Michelle, it'll be with someone else. Good luck

Ian

 

[Namuna]

You've said a couple of important things, namingly that she confides in you. This is great because she KNOWS you are someone she can trust in AND you know she thinks highly of you.

The foundation is there, WORK ON IT! Give her the support she craves, be there for her. BUT don't be passive about 'BOOB', shed light on the negatives while you're with her! Point out his bad points EVERY CHANCE YOU GET! AND keep telling her she deserves better.

DON'T be flat out with her and ask her to just drop everything and transfer from BOOB to you...That's a BAAAAAAD idea! She has to come to that conclusion on her own! Which she WILL do!

Be patient, be with her (as much as possible) and work on her doubts about BOOB.

 

[montanafan]

Hydro, my only advice would be for you to be certain that you can no longer go with things the way they are now, and that you are prepared to take the chance of losing the relationship you have with her now. Your dreams could come true and she'll be with you the way you want or she will no longer be able to think of you in the same way or be close to you in the way that she is now. Either way, once you pour your heart out to her, things will change. Good luck!

 

[HydroStream6]

Thanks for all the adice guys and gals.... I am still debating on what to do. I dont want to lose her but it's getting harder and harder everyday. Please keep your advice coming..

 

[nd]

My advice

1) Keep it to yourself. When you're feeling lonely and depressed about it, repress the emotions inside and attempt to appear and feel normal.

2) Continue to be her friend. When she asks for favors, be happy to oblige. When she figures out you'll do anything she says, she's bound to like you!

3) Pretend to be friends with her boyfriend, Bob. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

"So this is what it feels like when doves cry"