Don't sweat it. This argument is very low on the scale of stupid arguments to have with a woman. Trust me, if this is the stupidest argument that you have ever had with your woman, consider yourself lucky.
Assumptions can be very harmful to communication.
My take, from what I've read, is that you agreed to go the fish store together the night before.. no time was mentioned by either party. Apparently she assumed this meant after you were both awake you would go the store... whereas you apparently assumed this whole time schedule you laid out above. I wouldn't say that either of you is 'wrong', but neither of you communicated your desires/concerns very well. Obviously, I don't have the entire story, so that may or may not be the case... but that's the impression I get. A relationship has got to have some compromise (IE: I'll wait for you to get up when you want to today, and tomorrow we'll get up early and go shopping.. or something to that effect)
I dunno. My 2 cents. But, certainly doesn't sound like a big enough deal to consider kicking anyone to the curb. Lack of communication leads to un-voiced expectations, which leads to disappointment and hurt feelings, which can build walls if it isn't dealt with.
typical female response.
to original poster:
the fact is, she didn't go with you despite promising the previous day. she never stated that she wanted to do anything with you that day. she never communicated her intentions or interests and yet she EXPECTED you to know ahead of time what she wanted.
Typical mind games.
I've noticed alot of women like to do this. And they refuse to even consider it when we raise the issue. In their minds, they are always right and we are always wrong. Not all women are like this. But in this case, learn to live with it as it will NEVER change or ditch her.
From what I'm hearing, trmiv is right and his gf is wrong. I totally and completely disagree with eakers.
She said no twice to plans she had made in advance. No time was specified previously, but she got 2 notices the day of. Instead, she chose sleep over keeping her word. And now she expects him to completely and 100% accomodate her plans, because he should want to spend time with her so badly that he would do anything and ruin all plans for his day to do so. Buzz, wrong! Relationships should be based on compromise. They reached a compromise, even though the terms were unclear. When it came time to execute on their compromise, she refused to the terms. So they didn't understand each other. No one has the right to get mad.
And to turn the tables around, all the gf had to do was forfeit a few hours of sleep to spend EXTRA time with her bf. He woke her to tell her he wanted to spend time together. She wasn't even willing to do that, and instead chose to shorten the possible amount of time they had together for the day.
Well regardless, this sounds like a stupid argument. I hope that your gf is logical and you two can talk it through. But whatever the conclusion, you still have (had?) the rest of the night.
dfi
She said no twice to plans she had made in advance. No time was specified previously, but she got 2 notices the day of. Instead, she chose sleep over keeping her word. And now she expects him to completely and 100% accomodate her plans, because he should want to spend time with her so badly that he would do anything and ruin all plans for his day to do so. Buzz, wrong! Relationships should be based on compromise. They reached a compromise, even though the terms were unclear. When it came time to execute on their compromise, she refused to the terms. So they didn't understand each other. No one has the right to get mad.
And to turn the tables around, all the gf had to do was forfeit a few hours of sleep to spend EXTRA time with her bf. He woke her to tell her he wanted to spend time together. She wasn't even willing to do that, and instead chose to shorten the possible amount of time they had together for the day.
Well regardless, this sounds like a stupid argument. I hope that your gf is logical and you two can talk it through. But whatever the conclusion, you still have (had?) the rest of the night.
dfi
Oh yeah thats exactly it....I mean when I'm in a relationship just for the sex, I make sure to commit enough to let her MOVE IN....I mean what says "I don't care about you and I just want to nail you." than saying "hey, park your toothbrush next to mine and make sure us breaking up will be 10x more of a PITA".
I love these shining examples of alternate logic.
You have eakers who believes the logical thing for the guy to do was wait around, ignoring, and not getting upset about, the fact that his g/f DITCHED their plans so she could sleep till some ungodly hour, so he could spend time with her (wasnt that why he asked her to go in the first place?).
Then you have this guy who thinks the logical conclusion of this is, hes a player, and deserves whatever he gets. Nevermind we don't actually KNOW if he plans on marrying her, nevermind the obviousness of the situation (seriously, who lets their g/f move in if they are only after a piece?).
Think people, its not that hard. Its alot less fun that spitting out random jaded "factoids" based on your own extreme bias. But hey, in the end your less likely to be strangled.
But he DIDN'T want to spend time with her, wtf does that have to do with anything--he asked if she wanted to go to the aquarium store.
Trmiv, my condolences to you, young girls are strange.
Well there is the problem. I have yet to meet a famale english teacher who isn't either a frigid bitch, ignorant, or selfish.
Well she's been home from work a couple of hours, and all is well. She didn't apologize or anything, neither did I, but she has been very nice. I think she realized she wasn't being very logical or nice earlier.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
She's being totally unreasonable.You both agreed on a plan,if she decided she needed to sleep more that's fine but you should have then just gone about your business as planned.Expecting somebody to sit around twiddling their thumbs while you sleep suggests a sense of grandiose entitlement that's not pretty and I'd let her know in very firm words that her attitude won't be tolerated.
I will though say this about the sleep thing in general,many times when a person is gearing up for huge life changes their sleep habits get disrupted in some way.Going from the life of dependent student to the prospect of having to not only be a full fledged adult but also a teacher might be stressing her out to the point that all she wants to do is sleep on her off time.Perhaps the thing to do here is to take a more matter of fact attitude about her sleep habits with the understanding that if one snoozes they lose in terms of outtings and such.
I will though say this about the sleep thing in general,many times when a person is gearing up for huge life changes their sleep habits get disrupted in some way.Going from the life of dependent student to the prospect of having to not only be a full fledged adult but also a teacher might be stressing her out to the point that all she wants to do is sleep on her off time.Perhaps the thing to do here is to take a more matter of fact attitude about her sleep habits with the understanding that if one snoozes they lose in terms of outtings and such.
Chaotic42
Lifer
- Jun 15, 2001
- 33,929
- 1,097
- 126
Nah, it's not as bad as the media would like you to think, at least where I lived. There was racism, but I think the problem was that no one tried to bridge the gaps.Originally posted by: KLin
do they still have separate water fountains for.....ahh nevermind
Edit: Sorry, OP. This is way off topic for the thread.
:beer:
Look, if he wanted to spend time with her, then he would've just stayed and waited for her till she woke up. If she wanted to be considerate and spend time with him, then she would've woken up. This is what a relationship is about, giving and taking, right? So in truth it is both of their faults!
Lacking consideration on both ends. He and she is purely in it for physical means!
Lacking consideration on both ends. He and she is purely in it for physical means!
i'd suggest getting out of this relationship soon since the only way this relationship might continue is if you become her b!tch. I am glad that you dont plan on becoming one. You gotta tell her what is acceptable and whats not. If she is not ok with that, then screw her, literally and figuratively.
Siddhartha
Lifer
- Oct 17, 1999
- 12,502
- 1
- 81
trmiv
Spending time with you is important to her. She does not understand why you do not feel the same way.
Spending time with you is important to her. She does not understand why you do not feel the same way.
KK
Lifer
- Jan 2, 2001
- 15,903
- 4
- 81
Demand an apology from her, or tell her one of y'all are going to be leaving. You need to put that gal in her place. And what were you thinking when you asked her if she wanted to go with you. That woman needs to stay home and cook you supper before she heads out to go to work. Come one now, get with the plan. Set some boundaries.
KK
Siddhartha
Lifer
- Oct 17, 1999
- 12,502
- 1
- 81
When you read any posts about women or relationships on this forum, you have to keep in mind that most of the writers have not had that much if any experience with women.
From your OP it sounds like you and your girlfriend are not communicating that well. So instead of demanding an apology or any doimg any other silly unconstructive action , as people here have recommended, sit down and talk to her. Relationships are tough and you have to work at them if you want them to last.
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